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Original poster

Help being taken to court again by controlling EH!

91 replies

ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 10:44

Hello,

I did a thread about this last month but it was in 30 days only so I can't follow on from it.
The thread was that in my divorce 2 years ago the judge ordered EXH to continue to pay 1/2 the mortgage until my youngest turned 7 which is next month. He would then come off the mortgage, I would solely take it over and he would receive a small % of the equity in the house. All fine mortgage in pace with extra borrowing to pay him out however he is contesting the valuations of the house. The final order said an independent valuation I got three to take an average. He thinks the house is worth far more than it is ( because he's greedy/ controlling has to have one over on me). It's the last link to him bar to children. He has asked for a valuation for someone he uses and knows ( he has rental properties) I have said no I have three that's more than was requested.
He has been using a solicitor, I am been replying to his solicitor about the % and valuation myself.
As I rejected his latest demands for a 4th valuation on the house, I've now had a letter saying he is taking me to court for the judge to decide and they keep asking for my solicitors details. He's knows I don't have the money for this however I am determined after the divorce where he took me to court I will not be cornered into his demands.
So I guess my question is do I hold out in the hope he changes his mind?
Do I go to court representing myself
Do I give in?
He is in the process on buying a new house with his partner he will be wanting his payout, be off this mortgage to avoid stamp duty and you would hope have a clean break!!
The divorce was tough it made me ill, he's a high earner and I am not as our 3 children live with my 5/7 nights and are young so need school pick ups etc. His condescending I am richer than you so will always win attitude is draining. I'm stronger now so think fuck you take me to court but a little bit of me has anxiety over it

OP posts:
growgrowinggrown · 27/10/2023 11:29

Let him take you to court. The judge will see the 3 independent valuations and that you've been fair in taking an average.

On a side note, would his valuation throw the average out drastically if you took all 4 into account?

Original poster
ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 11:35

growgrowinggrown · 27/10/2023 11:29

Let him take you to court. The judge will see the 3 independent valuations and that you've been fair in taking an average.

On a side note, would his valuation throw the average out drastically if you took all 4 into account?

Thanks for your reply, no worked out at worst if it was 10% higher with his valuation it would result in about an extra 2k for him! Pathetic isn't it!

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 27/10/2023 11:36

If he has property, does he not realise that the market has cooled considerably and that property is worth less than it was this time last year and probably less than it was in the spring.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Family law Relationship problems
Original poster
ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 11:38

Bluevelvetsofa · 27/10/2023 11:36

If he has property, does he not realise that the market has cooled considerably and that property is worth less than it was this time last year and probably less than it was in the spring.

I totally agree when he was negotiating on his new house I bet you he screwed them right down on the asking price in his favour. Because this is me he thinks it's worth far higher! Two of my valuations even mentioned the slowing cooling market but no he always knows best 🤣 🤦🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/10/2023 11:39

Represent yourself, by the time it goes to court and you have 3-5 fresh valuations the house will be worth even less.

Ensure you get the valuations down with both their recommended asking price AND the price they expect it to easily sell for.

He's jeopardising his own purchase, what an idiot.

travelallthetime · 27/10/2023 11:39

I mean, surely you can do this yourself. Surely to god any reasonable judge would see the three independent valuations and the fact he knows this other person and just chuck his request out.

Original poster
ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 11:41

RandomMess · 27/10/2023 11:39

Represent yourself, by the time it goes to court and you have 3-5 fresh valuations the house will be worth even less.

Ensure you get the valuations down with both their recommended asking price AND the price they expect it to easily sell for.

He's jeopardising his own purchase, what an idiot.

Thanks I think from a huge learning curve in the divorce I feel strong enough to represent myself if it did go to court! Is nice to have independent opinions on this to confirm I have been fair and he is laying his usual cards

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 27/10/2023 11:42

Dose he continue to pay the mortgage until it sells?

Trethew · 27/10/2023 11:42

If he insists on a fourth valuation, agree to another one being done by a surveyor who is not a personal friend of your ex

MaggieFS · 27/10/2023 11:44

If the court order said independent valuation, that would surely apply to both of you. The person he is proposing clearly isn't independent!

IANAL but I can't see how he's got a leg to quibble on. Let him take you, and I agree with pp, have three new, lower, valuations ready to go.

RandomMess · 27/10/2023 11:45

Also if you sold it all the legal fees would have to be split and he definitely couldn't buy that house he wants...

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 11:46

He's not proposing somebody independent. He's proposing somebody who's going to bump up the valuation in a cooling market.

Let him take you to court. He's going to look an absolute twat. The delay will mean the house is worth less, not more. Not as clever as he thinks is he? Just laugh and say "see you in court". Knobber.

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 11:50

As an aside, don't be afraid to self represent. I did it with both financial and children's matters. The court was very helpful I found as so many people are forced to self rep because of the withdrawal of legal aid. I'd do a one liner back to his solicitor and say "all correspondence should be directed at me as I will be representing myself". He'll end up having to pay for every bit of correspondence and you won't 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 11:50

BigFatLiar · 27/10/2023 11:42

Dose he continue to pay the mortgage until it sells?

No one more month left then it's me 💯

OP posts:
Original poster
ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 11:51

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 11:46

He's not proposing somebody independent. He's proposing somebody who's going to bump up the valuation in a cooling market.

Let him take you to court. He's going to look an absolute twat. The delay will mean the house is worth less, not more. Not as clever as he thinks is he? Just laugh and say "see you in court". Knobber.

This is why I knew I should post on here! Made me laugh that did just what I needed!

OP posts:
Original poster
ivegotthisyeah · 27/10/2023 11:52

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 11:50

As an aside, don't be afraid to self represent. I did it with both financial and children's matters. The court was very helpful I found as so many people are forced to self rep because of the withdrawal of legal aid. I'd do a one liner back to his solicitor and say "all correspondence should be directed at me as I will be representing myself". He'll end up having to pay for every bit of correspondence and you won't 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks, didn't no if I should sit on this mornings email for a week or not? Or should I say ok representing myself crack on!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/10/2023 11:53

You could so jerk him around.

Oh it's worth that much still? Great you get the estate agent and sort out the sale, we can split the selling costs proportionally too, then you'll get an extra £1k. Hopefully the sale will go through quickly and not delay your purchase.

itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 27/10/2023 12:03

Yep, email his solicitor and state you will be representing yourself and to please direct all correspondence accordingly.
It'll probably cost him more than his "much needed" additional 10% to take you to court.
Hopefully when he realises this he'll drop it.
You sound strong enough to take him on if he's daft enough to go ahead with court proceedings and if you win he'll think twice about taking you on again in the future.
Good luck and stay strong 💪❤️

RandomMess · 27/10/2023 12:06

Ask him for HIS solicitors details and you will get in touch with them next week. Then you can write a letter to his solicitor saying you will self represent and that will cost him 🤣

Ophy83 · 27/10/2023 12:06

Make him an offer based on your valuations and say you will show it to the judge for costs purposes if he fails to beat the offer (I.e. the judge makes an award less than or equal to your offer)

FartSock5000 · 27/10/2023 12:19

I would get 3 more valuations dated the week going to court so you can show that the house WAS worth X but has now fallen to Y and remember to claim for costs as well. Get it added he has to pay your court costs.

What a loser. He's an absolute banger and you are a megastar for standing up to his bullshit control tactics.

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 12:19

RandomMess · 27/10/2023 12:06

Ask him for HIS solicitors details and you will get in touch with them next week. Then you can write a letter to his solicitor saying you will self represent and that will cost him 🤣

Exactly this!

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 12:21

@ivegotthisyeah Oh just have a nice weekend. Write a letter to his sol, send it second class. Don't put yourself out 💃

NotLactoseFree · 27/10/2023 13:10

Yeah, I'm struggling to see how his buddy is an "independent" valuation.

Assuming you've had it valued by 3 credible agents in the local area, I think he's going to really struggle with this one. And it's definitely going to cost him MORE to take you to court than it is to just take the money you're offering. Meanwhile, the cash you've put aside for him is sitting either in a savings account earning YOU interest or in your existing mortgage, saving you interest. Either way, win for you.

Definitely represent yourself. Consider sending weekly letters to his solicitor asking for updates as each one will cost him!

Cherish20 · 30/10/2023 05:07

It is good to hear the others have self represented and have been successful. I am struggling with the court system, delays and processes as well as failings representing myself in financial matters . Almost 24 months of lack of disclosure and the other party seems to be getting away with it. Assets abroad not declared pension details withheld, and other sources of income not disclosed and I have evidence to back these. How did anyone get round it. Am struggling to make sense of it 24months.. How did you all get through mum of 5 age 9 to 4(twins) and brought exh to UK. He wants to run me over!