Help being taken to court again by controlling EH!

[ivegotthisyeah]

Hello,

I did a thread about this last month but it was in 30 days only so I can't follow on from it.
The thread was that in my divorce 2 years ago the judge ordered EXH to continue to pay 1/2 the mortgage until my youngest turned 7 which is next month. He would then come off the mortgage, I would solely take it over and he would receive a small % of the equity in the house. All fine mortgage in pace with extra borrowing to pay him out however he is contesting the valuations of the house. The final order said an independent valuation I got three to take an average. He thinks the house is worth far more than it is ( because he's greedy/ controlling has to have one over on me). It's the last link to him bar to children. He has asked for a valuation for someone he uses and knows ( he has rental properties) I have said no I have three that's more than was requested.
He has been using a solicitor, I am been replying to his solicitor about the % and valuation myself.
As I rejected his latest demands for a 4th valuation on the house, I've now had a letter saying he is taking me to court for the judge to decide and they keep asking for my solicitors details. He's knows I don't have the money for this however I am determined after the divorce where he took me to court I will not be cornered into his demands.
So I guess my question is do I hold out in the hope he changes his mind?
Do I go to court representing myself
Do I give in?
He is in the process on buying a new house with his partner he will be wanting his payout, be off this mortgage to avoid stamp duty and you would hope have a clean break!!
The divorce was tough it made me ill, he's a high earner and I am not as our 3 children live with my 5/7 nights and are young so need school pick ups etc. His condescending I am richer than you so will always win attitude is draining. I'm stronger now so think fuck you take me to court but a little bit of me has anxiety over it

Also, ignore that last paragraph. I think it's standard spiel to make clear they aren't representing you and can't give you any advice. They are just covering their asses as a firm, IMHO.

Thanks all, your lifting me out of my anxiety!
Do I have to pay half the court costs if it does go to court? I just don't have that kind of money

Why don’t you contact the Court/Judge that made the Order and ask for a directions hearing yourself? Explain that you have the three valuations, that his isn’t independent and he’s stalling the process.

Perhaps you will need to email his solicitor with a daily update just so it increase his fees.

Hey @ivegotthisyeah massive squishes.

representing yourself in court is easier than it sounds and so many people will help if you reach out.

Keep an orderly file of events and paperwork.

check out - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/going-civil-court

OP now is the time to reply to the solicitors:

I believe that the valuations I have obtained fully comply with the criteria laid down by the court. If your client wishes to challenge me further on this point he is welcome to do so.

That reply will take the wind right out of their sails. And you haven't said you'll be representing yourself but you haven't claimed you will have a solicitor either. They'll have to make their own assumptions.

@RandomMess that is a really good point the valuations may have gone down since they were done more than a month or 2 ago. Op maybe you should reply to the solicitor and say you will also request revaluation as the market has dropped or he can go with the current 3 so as not to waste anymore time.

Let him take you to court if he’s arrogant enough to think that his non independent valuation is going to be viewed more highly than your three and research in to the price of his own home. I would recommend though that you call a domestic abuse support charity and ask if you can have one on one support for the process.

Remember his solicitor is doing as asked, he may have advised that your valuations should be accepted but twat head is carrying on regardless

LOL

I so wouldn't be replying "urgently"!

His name is still visible through the black stuff

Sounds to me like they are looking to get this sorted.

I would suggest a figure you would be happy with based on the valuations you've had, but maybe allow 5k or so for him to negotiate - "due to the slowing market".

Thanks @EvenBetta edited a bit better now!

Does his solicitor know there's been 3 independent valuations because that message reads like they don't.

@MrTiddlesTheCat yes they do and have all three copies

Then I'd write back saying something like 'as you know there have been 3 independent valuations already therefore £x will be released on ydate in accordance with the court order'. Then send that amount to the solicitors at the appropriate time.

Or does he have to sign something in order to release the money? In which case 'as you are aware there have been 3 independent valuations already therefore the amount due is £x. Please arrange for Dickhead to sign/attend bank etc by ydate in order to release the funds'.

Or ask MNHQ to transfer your thread to Legal Matters so the lawyers can tell you why following my advice is a bad idea.

I think you should counter attack personally, send a letter to his solicitor setting out that you have done more than was asked of you in the court order, you have obtained 3 independent valuations for the property, you have put in place a mortgage ready to proceed in accordance with the timescales set out in the court order and you believe that your x is now attempting to engage in vexatious litigation against you simply as a threat and in an attempt to change the decision of the court. This definitely wouldn't go down well with the court itself. Then state if they do not agree to proceed in accordance with the court order you will be applying to the court yourself to ask that the judge execute the Transfer Deed on behalf of your ex husband and that you will be applying for him to be responsible for all costs in relation to that application. Give them a time limit to reply and for them to accept the median valuation level and proceed with the transfer of the property into your name and the repayment of the current mortgage. State if you haven't heard from them by x date you will be applying to court and will be requesting three new valuations based on the market right now which has cooled significantly since the existing ones were obtained back in (inset dates when current valuations were done). Put him on the back foot instead of allowing him to terrorise you.

I think that's actually a very interesting reply. It doesn't mean he won't go to court, but it at least means the solicitor is seeking to understand how you aim to wrap this up, and much as they couldn't tell you so, they might advise their client he's got sweet FA chance, and in their judgement he should accept you proposal. Obviously he doesn't have to take their advice!

It's not an independent opinion if it's from someone he has a commercial/business relationship with. It is in their interests to give a value that will keep him happy so he continues to give them business.

The court will see through that.

If the lawyer is ethical and has half a brain they will be trying to talk your ex out of going to court. It's an arsey and aggressively worded email because that's what they know their client would want to see. But - look past that- They've asked you for a proposal you're happy with the end the damn thing.

They want to bring him a negotiated outcome.

You respond something along the lines of:

"As discussed/as per my previous correspondence with 'Twat Ex's name' I do not agree that Valuation Firm X is independent due to their longstanding commercial relationship with Twat Ex.

I have obtained three genuinely independent valuations (attached) and am willing to agree to the houses value being the average of the three, and pay Twat Ex's equity out at a value of £X.

I will make this payment by bank transfer on 1 December 2023. Please advise if you would like this payment made to your firms trust account or directly to Twat X's account number: XYZ.

It is unfortunate that Twat X insists on prolonging the process of separating of our assets in this way. I believe any court application would be a waste of the courts time and an unnecessary further pressure on both of us.

I understand your client has the right to apply to court and will be representing myself if he decides to do this. Please direct all correspondence to me.

I have proposed a fair and reasonable pathway to achieve a fair and final outcome. I hope your client sees sense and agrees to settle this issue, so we can return our focus to our children and forging a healthy co parenting relationship for their benefit.

Yours sincerely,
"

Solicitors act on instructions they're paid for. they probably think he's a knob as well. Please don't be scared of self rep. I had a 2 year battle with my ex and was doing well, then my family insisted on paying for a barrister for court. He took one look at the fairly complex file and said he didn't have confidence so I chickened out and ended up with an awful settlement and ex laughing with his family about he'd "won" (the right to pay the bare minimum to his kids). I have always regretted losing my nerve at the last minute (as @TheFormidableMrsC will tell you). Listen to her..she's awesome.

Being self represented can be an effective tool. Every interaction between yourself and his lawyer will cost him money, but be free for you.

Every delayed court date, every email, every call.

If he's trying to use his money to bully you, it won't work.

It can also make a dynamic clear to the court. You're a sensible normal woman, wanting a sensible normal outcome. You can't afford to waste money.

Whereas it will be clear as day that Twat Ex is willing to burn money just to antagonise you, has rejected a sensible and fair offer and would rather litigate against the mother of his children than listen to common sense about the house.

It's scary but I think if you can steel yourself and get through it, it could even work out better.

be a bit careful, it depends where you are - house prices are rising now, and the values could be going up

Where are house prices rising @secondfavouritesocks ?