Dead in bed and undiscovered for 20 years!

[RallyRallyAppreciateIt]

He had family, yet this man lay dead in bed for 20 years. So awful for them to think for all those years that he had gone nc, only to discover he had actually died and no one knew!

https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/cork-inquest-hears-mans-body-lay-undiscovered-for-20-years-1543934.html#:~:text=He%20was%20discovered%20under%20a,allow%20Rentokil%20to%20go%20in.

The family sound in denial, understandably so. So much nicer to think he died of a 'broken heart' rather than he may have had mental health problems and may have been lonely. Who knows. He sent them Christmas cards, they all seemed to have some kind of contact even if they didn't know when he got married.

It is bizarre that no one entered the house and the family accepted the vague stories of him returning to England. I feel sorry for his family but equally they should be ashamed of themselves

A super sad read. 😞

So sad, and sad that his poor family thought he'd not wanted to contact them all that time :(

Did anyone else think it bizarre that the council chap said 'he'd never seen anyone going in and out' or something? Well, no. You wouldn't, would you? Unless council workers in Ireland regularly stake out random houses?!

Really weird they boarded it up and actually compulsorily purchased it (who did they pay, even?) without ever actually setting foot inside!

Surely they had a duty to establish it was actually derelict before they did that?! They've effectively stolen someone's inheritance (not the main point raised by the poor man dying, I admit, but a legal consideration surely?) by not bothering to check the property was actually vacant before they started assuming rights over it?!

Reading between the lines of the IT article, I wonder why the family are reluctant to accept the idea that someone who wanted to be left alone to deal with the effect of the end of his short marriage and was in receipt of jobseekers allowance (so effectively very impoverished) in late middle age wasn't suffering from a mental health issue. What not just accept he was depressed?

equally they should be ashamed of themselves
Maybe. But I know quite a number of families that would have this level of contact. It's easy to make assumptions.

At 90, yes, but at 62?

He had a duvet and a coat over him?

I feel sorry for his family but equally they should be ashamed of themselves

I think that's really harsh. The articles say he was only in sporadic touch with his siblings, but one went knocking on his neighbours doors and went to the police station and another went and saw the house was boarded up. They were told he probably moved to England and the one that went to the police assumed they'd followed it up.

I think if you're only in limited contact with a family member, speak to the police and the house is boarded up and derelict you'd naturally assume that somebody had checked inside the property. I don't think for a minute you'd imagine him dead inside and nobody having complained about a smell or even checking inside the house before it was compulsory purchased/boarded up.

Yes many people are low contact but reading the article he did seem to be in touch to some degree. If a relative suddenly stops contact, sufficiently that a relative visiting from Australia would call to his house you would surely find a way to enter the premises. They peered through windows and saw belongings so he clearly hadn't moved out. He could've been alive and bed bound at that point.

Sad story but one everyone should take notice of. If you don't see neighbours for a few days or you don't hear from family yet their belongings are still visible through windows don't just presume they moved away!

That’s really sad.
once a human dies- who feeds the animals
It’s not unknown for desperate cats and dogs to use the body of their owner in these desperate situations .
We should all check on those who live alone.
I raised the alarm once when I’d not heard from a friend-( we’d arranged to meet up) I’d tried phoning, texting, calling round
in the end I put a large card through the door ( Flats) saying ( Name) I’m REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU ARE YOU OK?”
in big felt pen letters on both sides of envelope.

The people in other flat tried to contact friend, and called police.
Friend was found sadly dead.

They’d probably been there a few days .
It was very upsetting.

Rest in Peace, E 😘 xxx

The Forgotten Irish is on YouTube. A whole generation of Irish men, many of whom had been broken by the Industrial Schools, set off to England to do labouring work. They basically built the motorways and rebuilt bombed cities.

In later life their mental health, alcohol issues etc left them alone and impoverished in cities they never had any real community in. Such a sad documentary but with many glints of humour and humanity.

Yes, this comment didn't ring true for me.

I get the ferry between Ireland and Britain a lot. You meet lots of people who live between the two countries. Often there's an old family property somewhere remote in Ireland, a rented flat in Birmingham or Liverpool, and they go back and forth for one reason or another.

It would be very easy for people to assume someone like this had gone back to England because they very often would do just that. In the days before everyone had a mobile, this is not a strange scenario at all.

The boarding up is more surprising

I've NC for this - not too sure why really.

I used to work for a council boarding up empty properties. Our instructions were to shout through the door something along the lines of "Is anyone in there? Please make yourself known, we're about to board up the property" when we first arrived and then again just as we were about to start.

We were told not to enter the property because we wouldn't be insured to do so if we had an accident. The inside work (deep cleans, clear outs etc.) were done by another team.

Several times we encountered squatters who usually came on the second call, or a few times when they heard the drills starting up.

What I'm trying to say is that I can see how his body might've been boarded up inside given council bureaucracy and a totally reasonable "not my job, guv" attitudes among council workers.

I'm in England and this was several years ago. Might be different in this context of course.

👏 Yes.
The Irishmen absolutely did build the motorways of England- Hard grafters.
My friend who died was of this Heritage.

Interesting, @MuddyWatery . Thanks for the insight.

I had to break into a house where an elderly woman had been dead for several weeks. Neighbours reported flies and a bad smell. Her family turned up crying and claiming how distraught they were, they were so close, etc. I asked them when they'd last seen her or spoken to her on the phone. It was 3 months earlier. They lived half a mile away and the house had clearly been in a state of squalor for some considerable time. It tested my professionalism but didn't surprise me. 🙁

There was also Laura Winham in Woking, who was not found for three years.
I used to work with her but lost contact when she left.
She went NC with her family due to major mental health issues apparently.
I know they were trying to find a gas man who may have been the last to see her but they never reported anything else.

@LakeTiticaca
What a shame nobody cared enough to check on his welfare
Did you not read the article?

No, I don't think that was it at all. Mallow isn't that small a town by Irish standards and an English accent wouldn't be out of place there. And many people with English accents in Ireland have Irish roots anyway.
However, if he'd grown up locally there might have been more old neighbours or schoolfriends around keeping in touch. That's the bit about him being English that might be more relevant. As it was it seems he was very isolated, even in the middle of town.

I always wonder with cases like this, why didn't the neighbours notice. I know most people are in their own world these days but there must have been some signs. Poor man, very sad.

My good friend went 'missing'. He stopped replying to my phone calls and emails. When he didn't turn up to meet me I rang all local hospitals. Then I reported it to the police. They were very good. They had bashed his door down within 2 hours of my report and unfortunately found him dead.

People really need to keep an eye out for others, especially their older neighbours. The government systems seems to fail people again, and again.

This is how I fear my brother will end up, he has special needs and has developed mental health issues due to lack of social interaction most likely. He refuses to talk to any of us siblings that actually care about him. He will spend special celebrations, birthdays by himself. He mostly likely goes weeks and months without speaking to anyone. The one sibling (older sister) that he does talk to, doesn't really give a shit about him and will 'throw him a bone' once in a blue moon.

Our mother poisoned him against us over the years and now shes fucked off and left him living all alone, while shes being waited on hand and foot by other family members. Shes 'old and senile now' (her own words) she cant be looking after anyone. I dont expect her to but she should have put provisions in place for him before she fucked off and left him. She should have also had a conversation with him about building relationships with us siblings, as she has the power to get through to him. My older sister could have a conversation with him about this too but she wont as it probably doesn't suit her.

I still message him on his Birthday and ask him to come over during special occasions but he never replies.

It deeply saddens me to think that he will probably be manipulated by people as his life goes on.

There is no guarantee that he did slip peacefully away in his sleep, though.

He may have had (say) a heart attack or a stroke, and been in pain and terrified, unable to move or call out, for days before he succumbed.

It's very sad.

Somewhere in this a few people didn’t do their job properly to board up a house and not check inside? For the police to follow local gossip that he has probably gone away seems quite sad. His sisters cared but followed what the police told them.

I think the smell stops after a while. Once a body is dry it's not going to smell.

Read my post up-thread as to why his body might've been boarded in. It might not have been a case of people not doing their job (in fact, the opposite)