Dead in bed and undiscovered for 20 years!

[RallyRallyAppreciateIt]

He had family, yet this man lay dead in bed for 20 years. So awful for them to think for all those years that he had gone nc, only to discover he had actually died and no one knew!

https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/cork-inquest-hears-mans-body-lay-undiscovered-for-20-years-1543934.html#:~:text=He%20was%20discovered%20under%20a,allow%20Rentokil%20to%20go%20in.

I can see exactly how it happened.

He was reclusive, had spent a lot of his life living in the UK, having moved there as a small child with his parents (all his younger siblings were UK-born, and they only came to Kerry on holiday), and seems to have been in touch with his siblings (who were scattered across Ireland, the UK and Australia) only in a sporadic way (the sister who spoke at the inquest didn’t know exactly when he had married and moved back to Ireland with his English wife, only that the marriage had been very short, and that his wife had left again for the UK).

The reason the Australia-based sister came looking in Mallow was because she didn’t get a Christmas card in 2002. That was apparently their only contact. Local people assumed he’d gone back to the UK. He clearly didn’t engage at all with other people, even his own family. He didn’t have friends. People didn’t see him. When the house was boarded up, no one thought he might still be inside. That’s the most mysterious bit, that his siblings didn’t break in, or report him missing, but I can see why, too.

It’s a horrible story. But far from difficult to believe.

My own uncle could easily have died in this way — we still don’t know what happened to him for almost 30 years, after he stopped writing home after he moved to Manchester from rural Ireland in the 50s. His brother went over looking for him several times, traced former employers and addresses, reported him missing etc. but hard to trace someone working casual construction jobs and living in poverty in boarding houses. A priest who came across him in a homeless hostel finally made contact with his family in the 80s, and he was brought home a broken man with significant MH problems. He never spoke about the missing years.

Hopefully that's the way its played out and the poor man didn't die in pain

This is awful. There's a house on my road which looks shabby and there's loads of post and leaflets in the porch. Makes me think

My fil.died ages months ago.,he had been estranged from my dh for many years ,he chose not to keep.intouch with my Dh.or his sister after meeting a much younger partner
He also didn't have much contact if any with his siblings ,by all accounts his partner left him.a few years ago ,and he died alone
It was a neighbour that raised the alarm after not seeing him.a for a few days
And subsequently the police let us know
Yes it was sad but it wss decision to walk away from.family
Who.knows what happened in this case ?

Yes I think it could easily happen if you don’t have any family if you’re NC.

Please do check it out

Did the person who boarded up the house not notice him/a smell, or did he sneak in to a boarded up house? Sorry, I'll read the article

@TheGander that's what I Thought too. Something dubious anyway-not that this makes it any less sad.

It did cross my mind that maybe he was abusive or cruel in some way and his family didn't want much to do with him, though?

As others have said-we don't know that it was a peaceful passing. He could have been in agony for days, weeks, months! For all we know. Let's hope he died peacefully in his sleep. Nobody seemed to have cared too much about him

@Wrongsideofpennines (great name) that's basically what I thought too!
That was Joyce Vincent? So tragic, she was only in her thirties and had been a vibrant soul.

@StrangePaintName that's awful about your uncle

I worry I could end up this way (see my latest thread if you like-I have a solitary existence, only one much older sibling). I am always touched by this sort of case.

My great uncle was cut off by most of his family apart from my grnadmother, for being gay. He died of AIDS when I was 10-I was told my by grandmother that he was dying but i was too young to really understand

Do we know he went peacefully?

It's appalling that nobody, including the gardai, ever checked properly, and everybody in the family just accepted that their relative had vanished and was no longer in touch with anyone.

How on earth does a dead body possibly go undetected for 20 years. Surely the smell alone would be more than enough to cause alarm.

@StrangePaintName - yes, I can see how it happened - a combination of fractured and very precarious family links and relationships, limited access to or interest in communications technology, perhaps even limited literacy, poverty, family dislocation, cultural alienation, and isolation within the community - but it's still appalling.

If people have never seen a grim documentary called The Forgotten Irish, I recommend it.

My Dad died like that (long story, not suitable for here). He was barely 50 years old. In his case it was a "catastrophic heart attack that would have certainly killed him instantly" - those were the coroners words. Hopefully this gentleman also went very quickly. The article did remind me of the nice lady (Joyce I believe) who this happened to and my first reaction was surely, not again?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreams_of_a_Life

This one? Very strange documentary film, saw it ages ago, family didn`t want it made apparently.

@RicherThanYews I mentioned Joyce Vincent earlier. So sad. 'Dreams of a Life' is worth a watch even though It's a bit crude. And the Stephen Wilson album inspired by her is lovely. Sad but lovely.

X Post @CrashyTime !

I find it a sad story. I hope he didn't suffer and did go peacefully.

We'll never know for sure though.

I did wonder if the fact he was perceived locally as being English played into it. There’s a dark side to small towns that we don’t want to acknowledge in Ireland. The only thing worse than being a blow-in, is being an English blow-in.

I will look that up.

I remember talking to someone who fundraised for a charity looking after that generation of London Irish.

She described meeting an old guy when she started who’d worked as a labourer and lived in boarding houses, he described going for a lonely pint on a Friday after work and said ‘I talked to nobody, and nobody talked to me’.

So many families where siblings left school as early teens, scattered to the four winds and totally lost touch. So easy for people to fall through the cracks.

That's the sad bit, yeah. It reminds me of Joyce Vincent, although that was nowhere near as long. It was such a shocking story.

Exactly! No one knows if he 'went peacefully'at all, he could have been desperately ill for days and unable to summon help.

I find it incredible that welfare payments just stop, they don't contact the police to see if anyone had voiced concerns, his family guessed that he'd gone back to England. I think we had had phones in 2001 why on earth didn't anyone chase it up. Then for a house just to be boarded up without anyone checking for occupants. Absolutely shocking story.

I bet they would have quick enough if they had realised he had £8000 stashed in the house!

This is a massive generalisation.

If you are Irish, you'll know there are many many English people living in small towns in Ireland, especially in Cork. Most very happily.

This man was not necessarily perceived as 'being English'. Ireland is full of returned emigrants - we see them as Irish.

This article is more informative.

Who was Tim O’Sullivan? Private man whose body lay for two decades in derelict Mallow house had ‘a broken heart’

www.irishtimes.com/ireland/2023/10/25/who-was-tim-osullivan-private-man-whose-body-lay-for-two-decades-in-derelict-mallow-house-had-a-broken-heart/

The family have been really hurt over the level of inaccurate, sometimes prurient, reporting on this case.

That film haunted me, I was aware of her sad story as I had read a piece about her in the Guardian I think. It was beyond tragic the way nobody seemed to miss her or even have the curiosity to find out why she had vanished.