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Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?

354 replies

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:09

This is for those of you who had to sing hymns every morning in assembly at school — which were the ones you hated, that made you groan inside when they came up, and why?

For me it was a toss-up between One More Step Along The World I Go and Who Put The Colours In The Rainbow. Both of them toe-curlingly banal both musically and lyrically, both of them cringily childish in that way that's particularly objectionable to children who are just that little bit too old for something, and the former also having that nasty shoehorned mismatched meter that forces the emphasis on to all THE wrong words and syllABles. (Thankfully both were ditched by senior school, where the worst one musically was probably an alternative tune for All Things Bright And Beautiful. No, not the one you're thinking of. No, not that one either. A different tune , one that I've never been able to find corroborating evidence for online, which appeared to have been composed using note selection by dice-throw, in a hurry, and which they gave up on after the first disastrous all-school attempt.)

BTW I'm coming at this from a purely aesthetic perspective — I'm not and never have been a Christian, just had to sing the songs for a decade or so, some of which I enjoyed from a musical perspective, and others not .

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2023 19:25

Globules · 26/10/2023 19:19

The kids love it though...

That's one of the main reasons I despise it. Their shrieking and bellowing instead of you, know - singing. It's 'composed' to elicit the most unmusical sounds from the kids because the whole point of it to them isn't worship, isn't music, it's the ability to yell MYYYYLIGH'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE at the top of their lungs.

So glad I'm not working at that place anymore.

Globules · 26/10/2023 19:33

My experience of it is similar, but I love it, as the children love it.

I've used it in class assemblies, phase assemblies and whole school assemblies. Even used it during a whole school singalong on the playground post COVID.

700+ chn singing the majority of the song. 2 part with the "woah, oh, woah"

Shouting the My Lighthouse part - I have no problem with this, as it's their rebellion like ours was "AND THE TASTE OF APPLE PIE" shout. Or "WHIPPED AND THEY STRIPPED"

The love the actions while sitting still.

They love it. I love watching them enjoy it.

They'll be discussing it in 30 years in the way we're discussing the songs in this thread.

haroldscrescent · 26/10/2023 19:34

"Lord dismiss us with they blessing" - the opening words sung with gusto on the last day of each and every detested term followed by several groany verses and then ..... freedom!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

motherissueshelp · 26/10/2023 19:36

2 little fishes, 5 loaves of bread
5000 people by Jesus were fed
This is what happened when one little lad
Gladly gave Jesus all that he had

Memory unlocked

Anyone remember Come and join the celebration? Also Seek Ye First?

RenoDakota · 26/10/2023 19:42

RaraRachael · 26/10/2023 16:36

We used to sing "I'm the king of the jungle" at which my TA said "I'm not paid enough to make stupid animal noises" so we both stood with our arms folded.

The kids used to sing "I will make you pishers of men" instead of "fishers" which we found hilarious and didn't correct them.

Oh man, this reminds me of a (short-lived) spell when I went to church.
I cringed to death whenever they sang:
"The name of the Lord is ...
A strong tower ...
The righteous run into it ...
And they are saved."
There were ACTIONS. Nothing on earth would ever have induced me to act out 'strong tower' and pretend running into it, like the eager-beavers in the congregation did.
No wonder I didn't last long.

StoatofDisarray · 26/10/2023 19:43

"There was a green hill far away": so maudlin.

greengreengrass25 · 26/10/2023 19:45

I hate doing actions but I recognise the song

Blessed be the name of the lord

Ds thought Ancient of Days

Was the ancient buffet

Cyclistmumgrandma · 26/10/2023 19:57

We had morning assemblies most days at primary but an end of the day assembly on Fridays. I still remember with great fondness (haven't sung it in the 50 odd years since)..

The day thou gavest Lord is ended.
The darkness falls at thy behest.
To thee our morning prayers ascended.
Thy praise shall sanctify our rest.

RenoDakota · 26/10/2023 20:03

Cyclistmumgrandma · 26/10/2023 19:57

We had morning assemblies most days at primary but an end of the day assembly on Fridays. I still remember with great fondness (haven't sung it in the 50 odd years since)..

The day thou gavest Lord is ended.
The darkness falls at thy behest.
To thee our morning prayers ascended.
Thy praise shall sanctify our rest.

This is a much loved hymn for funerals. We had it for the funerals of both my parents, and it is very special to me. Mournful and very beautiful.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 26/10/2023 20:08

RenoDakota · 26/10/2023 20:03

This is a much loved hymn for funerals. We had it for the funerals of both my parents, and it is very special to me. Mournful and very beautiful.

And a favourite for choral evensong. Brilliant hymn.

mrsfeatherbottom · 26/10/2023 20:12

Morning has broken!

Froodwithatowel · 26/10/2023 20:20

Horrified to discover I remember the words to practically all of these but cannot remember where the hell I put the milk half the time.

Bloody jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled was a horror I will never get out of my head. Say a great big thank you.... even at eight I was thinking it was twee.

MadCatLady27 · 26/10/2023 20:28

Kum by ah my Lord was so dull and dreary

I swear we sang sing hosanna every single assembly so that was boring

My mum hates all things bright and beautiful

apapuchi · 26/10/2023 20:39

This thread is wonderful nostalgia. My husband isn't from the UK but my brother and I spend ages reminiscing about primary school assemblies often. They did the week's birthdays every Monday to Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday which we all loved without any idea about the real meaning. Not that that would make it unlovable but we thought it was just a birthday celebration song for us all (except me and the others who had summer holiday birthdays 😢).

Does anyone remember The Calypso Carol? My favourite Xmas song.

See him lying on a bed of straw...

I also loved and still often sing two from assemblies which I don't think have been mentioned, along with loads which have.

Break out, Reach out, Let the walls tumble down, down, down...

Complete with actions encouraged by the teachers of breaking out (punching forward), reaching out (thrusting hands forward), letting the walls tumble (tickling the back of the person sitting cross-legged in front of you). All of this was a great opportunity to poke, prod and tickle the back of the person in front of you with varying levels of force 😂 not that the teachers had intended that.

Also Silver Trumpet, complete with high and low voices.

Well I've never been to heaven but I have been told...
Hand me down your silver trumpet, Gabriel.
The gates are made of pearl and the streets are made of gold...
Hand me down your silver trumpet, Lord.

Oh hand me down (high)
Oh hand me down (low)
Etc etc

The joy ☺️🥰

PinkTonic · 26/10/2023 20:40

I always disliked all things bright and beautiful. I’m old so my school hymns were traditional from hymns ancient and modern. I love how great thou art. As a child we didn’t sing hymns in Mass. I love the more modern ones we sang at Mass when my children were young that they sang at school, like colours of day and here I am Lord.

apapuchi · 26/10/2023 20:41

Realise I haven't responded in the spirit of the thread, of course.

I hated Make Me a Channel of Your Peace, bit boring and also hard to sing 🤷

Also didn't like Colours of Day just because of the imagery of taking 'seeds of his spirit' and my imagining a Jesus made of seeds being picked apart. Weird and literal, me?

Think I loved or liked all the others, total assembly hymn/song zealot. I also loved Streets of London as mentioned before - So how can you tell me you're looooooonely?

21ZIGGY · 26/10/2023 20:43

I have never heard of half the ones mentioned here but there are zero bad catholic hymns

LyndaSnellsSniff · 26/10/2023 20:46

Can we have school Christmas carols? I cannot stand The Calypso Carol. During my school's Christmas carol service a few years ago, the autocue thingy broke so we just repeated the same verse over and over and over and over and over again. It went on for 789 years.

greengreengrass25 · 26/10/2023 20:51

apapuchi · 26/10/2023 20:39

This thread is wonderful nostalgia. My husband isn't from the UK but my brother and I spend ages reminiscing about primary school assemblies often. They did the week's birthdays every Monday to Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday which we all loved without any idea about the real meaning. Not that that would make it unlovable but we thought it was just a birthday celebration song for us all (except me and the others who had summer holiday birthdays 😢).

Does anyone remember The Calypso Carol? My favourite Xmas song.

See him lying on a bed of straw...

I also loved and still often sing two from assemblies which I don't think have been mentioned, along with loads which have.

Break out, Reach out, Let the walls tumble down, down, down...

Complete with actions encouraged by the teachers of breaking out (punching forward), reaching out (thrusting hands forward), letting the walls tumble (tickling the back of the person sitting cross-legged in front of you). All of this was a great opportunity to poke, prod and tickle the back of the person in front of you with varying levels of force 😂 not that the teachers had intended that.

Also Silver Trumpet, complete with high and low voices.

Well I've never been to heaven but I have been told...
Hand me down your silver trumpet, Gabriel.
The gates are made of pearl and the streets are made of gold...
Hand me down your silver trumpet, Lord.

Oh hand me down (high)
Oh hand me down (low)
Etc etc

The joy ☺️🥰

Carry me to Bethlehem?

Yes it's good

Alligator456 · 26/10/2023 21:02

All things bright and beautiful
I was outraged by it being propaganda for social inequality

Alligator456 · 26/10/2023 21:06

The rich man in his castle,
The poor man at his gate,
He made them, high or lowly,
And ordered their estate.

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/10/2023 21:12

My favourite was Lord of the Dance. Although I that the lyrics were "I am the Lord of the Dance Settee" for a long time.
Did any of you who went to school in the 60s or 70s have the hymns on one of these wall mounted things? This was like an enormous book of hymns. It was high up on the wall and the headteacher would bring it down to turn over pages using a pulley system.

Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?
MrsMoastyToasty · 26/10/2023 21:13

We also had hymns on an overhead projector.

FuzzyPuffling · 26/10/2023 21:15

DahliaMacNamara · 26/10/2023 19:02

I hated Glad That I Live Am I, because, as the smallest 5-year-old in the class, I was offended at the implication that I was behind everyone else in the important quest to grow tall. I feared I might never make it, and, to be fair, I wasn't wrong.

All that we need to do
Be we low or high
Is to see that we grow
Nearer the sky.

See? Cheeky buggers.

Dahlia yes yes yes. I was the smallest too and agree with your interpretation.
And then I grew!

onlyconnect · 26/10/2023 21:16

Is there one with lines like, "I have seen the golden sunshine/ I have heard the something rain"?

I love this thread. It's brought back memories