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Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?

354 replies

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:09

This is for those of you who had to sing hymns every morning in assembly at school — which were the ones you hated, that made you groan inside when they came up, and why?

For me it was a toss-up between One More Step Along The World I Go and Who Put The Colours In The Rainbow. Both of them toe-curlingly banal both musically and lyrically, both of them cringily childish in that way that's particularly objectionable to children who are just that little bit too old for something, and the former also having that nasty shoehorned mismatched meter that forces the emphasis on to all THE wrong words and syllABles. (Thankfully both were ditched by senior school, where the worst one musically was probably an alternative tune for All Things Bright And Beautiful. No, not the one you're thinking of. No, not that one either. A different tune , one that I've never been able to find corroborating evidence for online, which appeared to have been composed using note selection by dice-throw, in a hurry, and which they gave up on after the first disastrous all-school attempt.)

BTW I'm coming at this from a purely aesthetic perspective — I'm not and never have been a Christian, just had to sing the songs for a decade or so, some of which I enjoyed from a musical perspective, and others not .

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Natsku · 26/10/2023 18:07

RaraRachael · 26/10/2023 16:36

We used to sing "I'm the king of the jungle" at which my TA said "I'm not paid enough to make stupid animal noises" so we both stood with our arms folded.

The kids used to sing "I will make you pishers of men" instead of "fishers" which we found hilarious and didn't correct them.

I used to sing "I will make you vicious old men" Grin

Longma · 26/10/2023 18:17

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greengreengrass25 · 26/10/2023 18:28

Not an awful hymn but quite upbeat but cannot remember all of this. This was early 70s

Something like

O God, lord of creation
............... (missing line)
We cannot live without you
Hear us when we call

I can hear the tune

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FuzzyPuffling · 26/10/2023 18:33

Babyroobs · 26/10/2023 13:16

Glad that I live am I ! Awful.

I had completely forgotten this. But now you have jogged my memory I find I can remember quite a few words...."that the sky is blue"

Also one about "Daisies are my silver, buttercups my gold, This is all the treasure I can have or hold"

Marchbug · 26/10/2023 18:35

I love a bit of Autumn Days, and still sing "cross over the road my friend, ask the lord his help to lend" when crossing the road at times, not at all annoying 🤣

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2023 18:40

None of them could ever be as bad as the abomination that is My Lighthouse.

I hate that thing with an absolute passion on an aesthetic, musical and performance basis. Followed by the horror that is the rip off of Johnny Mathis' When a Child is Born and flogged as The Lord is My Shepherd.

Sodding Rand Collective. Sodding Evangelicals. Sodding Hillsong.

Raahh · 26/10/2023 18:43

Theokaycokey · 26/10/2023 13:43

Give me Oil in my Lamp
When a Knight won his spurs
Who put the colours in the rainbow
If I had a hammer
The ink is black

We used to use these books in primary- and there were 2 'tiers' of copies - the 'good' set for teachers/ book monitors and choir- and the 'the rest'.
I would volunteer to spend my lunch breaks sellotaping the tatty copies back together Grin.

I loathe 'Shine Jesus Shine. Grin It is by far my most most hated hymn (but we never sang it at school- it was always a university Chapel one- for evensong on a Sunday).

AnneWhittle · 26/10/2023 18:44

i went to a funeral recently and there were 3 very traditional hymns, singing was very sparse, I did my best but the key was very unfriendly
such a shame

Moonlaserbearwolf · 26/10/2023 18:45

This brings back so many memories of school assemblies in the 80s and 90s. Do any schools still sing these hymns? The only primary schools I’ve worked in haven’t.

I like most of the songs, though not a fan of Shine Jesus Shine - we sang it too much - each week a little less enthusiastically than the previous week.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2023 18:46

PurpleChrayne · 26/10/2023 13:03

I'm Jewish but went to a Christian school.

I used to despise "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace." Such a dirge. It was beloved of a certain teacher, so you knew you'd be singing it whenever she was leading assembly.

An absolute banger was "Jubilate" (deo... HEY!)

Is that the one I sniffily dismissed as 'They've nicked that from Klezmer'? If it is, one of the deputy headteacher's kids wrote a really nasty additional verse about other religions having fake gods, not like them, they were Christian and wouldn't be going to hell like those people.

NotHooray · 26/10/2023 18:48

We used to sing one which began something like 'sometimes I wonder why people suffer, why all the pain and hunger'. The most miserable dirge I've ever heard.

Brexile · 26/10/2023 18:51

I hated "He who would valiant be", although I now appreciate the non-dumbed-down vocabulary. The other horrible dirge I loathed was "Onward, Christian soldiers".

I taught in a Catholic school for a few months and never had to sing a hymn in spite of regular compulsory chapel services where I had to stop the naughty kids fighting each other. It was great!

Chocolata82 · 26/10/2023 18:51

Praise him, Praise him in the morning, praise him in the noon time...that was abit drab
I do have fond memories of alot of them though
Shalom
Make me a channel
From a tiny ant
Give me oil in my lamp
Kumbyah
Happy Days!!!

CurlewKate · 26/10/2023 18:53

I LOVE One More Step! I agree with everything you say about it but it makes me sob every single time!

Chocolata82 · 26/10/2023 18:57

CurlewKate · 26/10/2023 18:53

I LOVE One More Step! I agree with everything you say about it but it makes me sob every single time!

Always at the year 6 leavers assembly and it would set everyone off. They still sang it at my children's school. It's a nice one for a wedding too I think.

Shortpoet · 26/10/2023 18:58

I’d completely forgotten the sheer transgressive joy of being allowed to yell “naked” in assembly through the “when I needed a neighbour” song!

Alighttouchonthetiller · 26/10/2023 19:00

I love all these old school hymns. I loved school and they bring back wonderful memories.

My lovely friend had 'One More Step' at her funeral. It was heartbreaking.

I don't mind that it has been judged to be inadequate by MN. It is important to me, as are many of the songs being sneered at for their inferiority. Such is the tone of modern life, I suppose.

CurlewKate · 26/10/2023 19:01

I love When a Knight Won His Spurs too.

The absolute worst is Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace.

There's one I've only heard at dc's primary school called Lift Up Lightly The Stable Bar that's lovely.

DahliaMacNamara · 26/10/2023 19:02

FuzzyPuffling · 26/10/2023 18:33

I had completely forgotten this. But now you have jogged my memory I find I can remember quite a few words...."that the sky is blue"

Also one about "Daisies are my silver, buttercups my gold, This is all the treasure I can have or hold"

I hated Glad That I Live Am I, because, as the smallest 5-year-old in the class, I was offended at the implication that I was behind everyone else in the important quest to grow tall. I feared I might never make it, and, to be fair, I wasn't wrong.

All that we need to do
Be we low or high
Is to see that we grow
Nearer the sky.

See? Cheeky buggers.

trulyunruly01 · 26/10/2023 19:07

I remember being very small and singing
"dance dance wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance Settee"

And endlessly wondering what is a dance settee, we only have a sitting settee in my house.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2023 19:14

trulyunruly01 · 26/10/2023 19:07

I remember being very small and singing
"dance dance wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance Settee"

And endlessly wondering what is a dance settee, we only have a sitting settee in my house.

You are Richard Herring and I claim my £5.

Globules · 26/10/2023 19:19

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2023 18:40

None of them could ever be as bad as the abomination that is My Lighthouse.

I hate that thing with an absolute passion on an aesthetic, musical and performance basis. Followed by the horror that is the rip off of Johnny Mathis' When a Child is Born and flogged as The Lord is My Shepherd.

Sodding Rand Collective. Sodding Evangelicals. Sodding Hillsong.

The kids love it though...

141mum · 26/10/2023 19:20

I’ve got, lord of the dance, going round my head now
tbh I used to love it 🥰

Globules · 26/10/2023 19:23

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My mum's funeral was over 10 years ago. I got the vicar to ask the congregation to sing loud and proud, even if they were off key, as my mum loved singing and we needed to make a good sound together to send her off. I chose familiar school hymns in order for that to happen. So pleased the congregation responded.

yummytummy · 26/10/2023 19:23

oh wow this is nostalgic i loved autumn days such a great song and the i was cold i was naked one. when did they stop using come and praise and singing i wonder. i went to a c of e school but i think come and praise was in all schools then maybe?

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