Has a man ever helped you when you were being harrassed/threatened/assaulted by another man?

[Echobelly]

I see a lot of stuff on social media, more usually from the US, about men talking about how they see themselves as 'protectors' of women (hmmmm 🙄) so it got me wondering how common it actually is for a guy to help when they see a woman being obviously harrassed, assaulted or threatened? And were they big macho types (usually the type who makes videos online about how they protect women) or just ordinary guys who helped by noticing?

I've never been in a position where I needed anyone to intervene fortunately... I have been with DH when he went over to a couple having a heated argument to check if the woman was OK (she claimed to be, although didn't look it., and they went off and we hoped at least the guy might lay off now someone had taken noticed) and I know my brother intervened, non physically, when he saw a woman being assaulted, so clearly it does happen. I suspect most of the time it is ordinary blokes just saying something rather than macho men rushing in with fists flying.

That’s awful. How sad. And yes it can happen with domestic abuse for various reasons that they both turn on the one who intervenes. It can be tricky to know what to do.

Rôle réversal, but DD intervened when a guy punched another in the face on a rush hour tube because he asked him to stop taking up two seats. I was horrified and proud in equal measures.

My husband recently chased off a couple of men who were leering at a group of young girls playing sport in the park. They were a bit of distance from the girls so the girls were likely not aware of how creepy these guys were - they couldn't hear them talking, my husband did and told them to stop being perverts and move on.

Reminds me so much of my elderly Dad. He's always been a real gent.

One time, we were driving home and he noticed a woman had broken down so he turned around and offered assistance. He said that he only did it because I was in the car so he hoped that would make sure she didn't feel threatened.

Two boys threw stones at my car when I was a new driver in my late teens. I called my Dad as I didn't know what to do. Our house was around the corner so he came round and gave them a bollocking.

One time my car broke down and he got it fixed and he followed me home in his car to make sure the car was running ok. He saw some fella pull out in front of me and almost caused an accident. Next thing I know, he's gone chasing after the bloke to give him a bollocking.

He's very elderly now but makes me well up thinking how much he treasured me. I was the only girl with two brothers and my Dad so was very much protected. If there was ever a problem, they'd all race to my aid.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I'm definitely a 'take no shit' woman and I'm probably more scary than the men in my family! And I'm extremely protective of my Dad now that he's quite frail.

I had a male friend intervene when I was quite drunk and naive and he could see a mutual acquaintance about to take advantage of that.

I had some drunken arsehole giving me shit on a train recently, he nearly ended up on my lap as he was falling about that drunk then called me a cunt because I tried to ignore him. Several men in the vicinity turned a blind eye.

Yes. The man who stepped in is now my husband.

Oh yeah. I've intervened in these a fair amount. Working in shelters and with offenders.

Mum Voice is very effective. They do what you say without thinking about it. I got between two six foot wannabe gangsters once and did the "YOU DOWNSTAIRS. YOU, BACK TO YOUR ROOM" thing. Sheepish mumbles from both of them. Could have gone badly wrong. There are many men who would never back down for a man but would never hit a woman. And vice versa with abusive men of course.

A guy in a bar once saw I was struggling with a guy that wouldn't take no for an answer so he did the whole 'I've been looking for you everywhere' thing & pretended to be my bf. It really helped!

My DH intervened when a woman was being harassed in a nightclub. DH had his head split open unfortunately. The bouncers threw DH and the harasser out of the club where another passerby phoned the police and an ambulance. The harasser was caught and charged with assault.

DH has a lovely big scar running down his forehead and through his eyebrow, reminding me daily of his goodness. 😇

Yes. And you know what, that guy chased my assailant and pinned him against a wall while I ran and ran, and then a taxi driver stopped his cab and gave me a lift home for free.

Both of these men stopped me from being raped. Both of them were much older than me, in their 50s. I was 25 and the wannabe rapist was my age.

So yes, men do help. Or at least they did.

Yes. My best friend and I were on Hollywood Blvd in California seeing the tourist sites. A homeless guy would not stop following us harassing us. A guy in an office building was looking out the window seeing these 2 young girls. Came out chased him off walked us to our hotel. Over 20years later we are still friends!

Fortunately I've never been in this situation (on both sides) ... Never thought about it but it's a very valid question.

Not that I can recall.

I was chatting with a boyfriend on a bench before we went to our separate homes and he'd put his coat around my shoulders as it was getting colder.

Then when we got up to leave I took the coat off to give it back and a young woman ran up and screamed at him "don't you dare steal her coat!" He looked astonished and it made me smile.

Yes - I was being bothered by a man in Ibiza and another stepped in and told him to sod off.

Nice to see another man-hating thread...not. Yawn.

I actually have. Many years ago when I was young I turned left in front of an oncoming car - COMPLETELY my fault. I didn't turn close enough that we crashed but it was close and I'm sure the man driving the car was frightened. I pulled into the parking lot where I was going and he followed me and got out and came at me as I got out of my car. He had me by the arm and was shaking me violently and screaming at me - I kept repeatedly apologizing. A huge man going by on a motorcycle had followed him in when he saw he followed me and intervened. I was at fault but I was scared to death.

...sorry should have said, that wasn't aimed at you OP but lots of undertones on this thread. As usual.

Yes, men and women, a few times. And I’ve done the same.

No one appeared to be in super hero mode, just being nice.

Ahhhh

No! I got sexually assaulted in a doctors surgery waiting room and no one helped me! Plenty of men where there!Had to call the police myself 😕

At a party once an obese 'friend' said he wanted a word with me in private about something, led me into a dark room pushed me onto the ground and lay on top of me. I couldn't breathe enough to shout for help, he was so heavy. I was struggling and smothered and panicking. A couple of people came into the room and saw us but backed out, thinking we were a couple. then another friend came in and yanked the massive boy off me and shouted at him. I have always admired him for doing this, and still remember him for it, forty years later!

Yes this was around 20 years ago. I was being harassed by my ex who I had bumped in to in town. I was alone. I was at the bus stop and he was shouting abuse at me. I remember a man getting off the bus and helping me.

I was walking through town with my chihuahua, and a group of lads came up to me asking how much the dog was worth. Stated they were going to take her. I was terrified. I was so intimidated as i am 5.3 and 7 stone. I saw a man outside a shop. Big. Tattoos. Bald. I walk towards him. Asked for help. He lent in as if to hug and kiss me. Put his arm around and asked the lads why they were bothering his girlfriend. He walked me to my car. What a sweetheart.

It happened when my DH saw a lady being assaulted by a male so DH intervened but then the lady turned on DH saying it was her boyfriend and leave him alone. He was physically assaulting her.

That’s not the case at all, there are lots of examples on this thread of times when men (and women) have stepped in and helped, and some when they haven’t.

That’s just a reflection of life, it’s not about hating any group. It’s your own prejudices are colouring your reading of it.

Once a man intervened when a woman punched me! I've never been harassed/assaulted by a man so can't comment on that.