What’s acceptable? Yes - No answers

[SirMcDoddle]

dh and dd are having an argument and i need your help to settle it.
Dd is mid 20s and back at home after Uni.
Dh and dd just cannot agree on what’s polite and ok to do so I’d ask you what your thoughts are. Would you think it’s ok to

1- never go out of the house Wo saying goodbye/telling people you’re going out
2- never go out of the house wo leaving a message if the other person is busy (eg in a meeting with work)
3- you need to tell people if your plans in good time - if possible (eg in Wednesday, I’ll be out all day or I won’t be in on Thursday evening)

Dh thinks dd should always do all of the above. Otherwise she is treating everyone like flatmates which we are not. And is therefore very rude if her not to do it.
dd says he is a hypocrite because he doesn’t do that when going to see his parents.
Both would agree it’s not about dd asking for permission to do anything.
So what happens in your house? Very happy with Yes and No answers. I’m trying to evaluate everyone’s expectations here and ‘guide’ the resolution.

I actually do think this is just basic manners. I wouldn't interrupt a WFH meeting etc. but I think shouting a general bye, see you tomorrow etc so you aren't cooking for them. Otherwise, don't cook for her.

I find it hilarious when people on MN describe things as "extremely rude" - DH does this too - where does it even come from???

To me, not saying goodbye to people who are in the house is hardly "extremely rude", it's slightly thoughtless. Perhaps if you're doing it to make a point because you're angry with someone, it could be considered rude. But it's not extreme.

Extremely rude, to me, would be getting in someone's face screaming at them, calling them a cunt, dumping a load of expectations on them, that kind of thing.

In what world is things like not saying goodbye "extremely rude" ?? This phrasing fascinates me.

DH does have older parents who were more strict/traditional than mine - in response to someone else who agreed "extremely rude" fits this context.

I think it's just basic good manners to say a quick goodbye and even if not where you're going, to give some indication of when you'll be back.

Even DH and I will say to one another "I'm just popping to the shops" or "I'm meeting a friend and will have dinner out so just sort yourself and the kids" etc.