Please tell me how great it is to have just one child

[Kojaki]

I have one and 80% sure we'll stop there.

There's a small part of me though that would like another but then I mentally list all the reasons why it's a bad idea (finances, mental health, even saggier belly).

I suppose I worry I'll regret it later but the thought of doing it all again is a lot.

Can the one child parents out there tell me why it's a great decision if its worked for you?

Worked out fine for me although my DS thinks he's missed out on having siblings. He hasn't, he's just like his father and would have spent his life falling out with them.

No squabbling and fighting to contend with. Pure, quality time spent focussed on them. More money to spend on fun things.

I have an only - I think I'm a much better parent because of it, I have greater patience and more emotional resource to give her. We love our life, our DD has lots of friends that she has very good relationships with but we also really enjoy our time together as a 3. It's also meant I can have a career and still be available and present for her, something would be having to give I think if there were more than one.

I can tell you that as an only child dealing with an elderly mother with dementia on their own it's bloody horrific, sorry if that's not what you want to hear. I just wish I could magic up a sibling or two to help make decisions or do the shopping one day when I'm really too busy. I've hated being an only child full stop actually.

Only child here with only one child.

Quality time and being able to afford nice things like holidays and experiences.

I have lots of cousins and they also have kids the same age as mine, so have the benefit of kids that can be close to with but don't have to worry about the sibling squabbling.

Conversely dealing with me elderly mum with dementia with my sister has made things 100% harder.

for your situation.

It's just me at one DC (good coparenting relationship though). I love it. Sometimes I get broody, but think that would happen with any number once a certain amount of time passes since having a baby around.
We have a great relationship, I love that I can prioritise just him and also know I would struggle financially with another and not be able to do the things I want to with them.
And I do not miss night feeds one little bit!

I planned to stop at one. We ended up having 2. I do love my kids but often wish we'd stopped with one - life would have been much easier and even dd1 will say she wishes she was only child.

Thank you and the compliment is returned. I guess you don't know what you don't know, it probably is harder with a sibling but I'm just so bloody tired doing everything alone!

Really wish we could have had a sibling for DD but having one meant private school, lovely holidays and really supporting dd in anyway necessary without justification or matching the costs.

It helps if you think you have the best kid, which I do! The upsides are: so much more time to spend with her chatting, playing, doing homework, teaching good manners, working on emotional intelligence and great family experiences without feeling run ragged by parenthood. I love our time just the two of us baking, going to the salon or on random day trips. I used to long for a second child but I increasingly feel that a second child would ruin our dynamic. I also worry that she is a tough act to follow - beautiful, kind, smart, funny, handles a disability with so much grace, everyone loves her - that I would worry about a second child being in her shadow. There was a similar issue in my family growing up and it’s awful to grow up in a sibling’s shadow.

I'm sorry you are dealing with that but people with siblings don't always get support from them either. When my grandmother was poorly, my uncle was seriously ill himself, and my aunt didn't fly "home" until the funeral. I'll never understand why that was her priority over actually seeing her mum one more time.

Being one of three didn't make my mums experience any different to yours, sadly. My friends mum lost both parents in the last 3 years and did have sisters around... they are practically at war now over decisions made about the houses.
Yet one of my closest friends recently lost her dad and had an army of cousins helping with everything. You just can't know.

We have two, but everything about having the 2 makes life harder. They just fight, scream, argue all the time. Individually, they are an absolute pleasure and I love spending time with them. Together, I absolutely dread it. My husband and I split them as often as possible, we'll even literally sit with one upstairs watching TV and the other downstairs when we've just had enough.

I'm taking the oldest on a short flight / weekend soon to see a friend and I can't wait - it will be so easy. I'm taking them both on a short flight to visit family soon too, and it will be tough.

I have one sibling, and although we get on absolutely fine, we don't have any relationship outside of us visiting our parents.

My mum has 2 siblings she can't stand.
My dad has one sibling who lives far away, so my dad has all the responsibility for taking care of his elderly mother.
My husband has a sibling who he gets on brilliantly with.

You have no idea what kind of relationship siblings would have.

I can't possibly say I wish I'd stopped at one because I have my two wonderful children now. But with one, our lives would really be a lot easier.

Ideally we would have had another but it wasn't meant to be. Our DS is a young adult now- and a lovely one at that! (I know I'm biased) Still lives at home but has a full time job and is saving for a house deposit. We are a very close unit- DH, DS and me- have gone to some amazing places all over the world as we have enough money now between 3 working adults.
When he was a child he had our attention/care all the time - he has autism and on first glance just seems a bit quirky but things have been difficult at times. He has a small group of trusted friends from school who 'get him' and now he is working his employer and colleagues also understand him too so everyone is happy.
Having a sibling does not guarantee help with looking after the elderly parents by the way. I'm basically sole carer for my mum 80+ with cancer and other chronic conditions despite having siblings who could do more but don't.
They are 'very thankful' to me though so that's OK

I have 2 but had one "only" for 5 years and I really loved the one on one time, I felt I could give her everything and was never pulled in different directions which I am now.

I originally wanted 2 but I have one, and although there were some hard times with that- i know ds really wanted a sibling and tbh would be a fab brother - God I have to say it is quite obviously so, so much easier.

I would still I think have chosen two if I possibly could but dh was just too ill. And there really were huge upsides to just having ds to worry about when dh died.

I'm childfree, but I am an only child and I turned out great! I'm a happy person in a wonderful relationship, and I have a great relationship with my mother as well (my father died many years ago) My parents didn't mean for me to be an only child, but they left starting a family a bit late so I was the only one. I never wanted siblings and never felt that I was missing out by not having them. As I said, I am childfree, but if I were to have children I would only ever want one. I think that with the cost of living always on the rise, unless I was pretty wealthy I would want to concentrate all my resources on the one I already have: you never know what challenges a child will have that might lead to them needing to go to independent school or whatever. Plus, there is the environmental aspect as well. I would say that there are plenty of reasons to stop at one, and not all that many to continue a family.

Similar to @Tinkeytonkoldfruit and @Mumsanetta - I love the clarity, simplicity and focus of having an only. I am much less frazzled and harried than my friends with 2+ DC, and DD gets to experience a lot more than
most of her peers in terms of holidays, extra curriculars and even home activities due to our additional time and financial resources and our greater flexibility. I feel calm, confident and organised as a parent, and rarely experience ‘mum guilt’, as I know that DD always gets the best of me.

I’m also pleased that we stuck at one given the uncertainty of the future; it looks like life is only going to get more complicated and competitive as DD grows up, and we wanted to give ourselves the best chance of being able to support her both financially and emotionally through the adolescent and early adult years. Having just her means that we have plenty of options and don’t feel overstretched in terms of either time or finances - it’s very reassuring.

I would have liked DD to have had closer cousin relationships (she only has one, who lives overseas), but we’re doing our utmost to nurture close friendships for her, and I’ve never felt any particular urge to have a second child.

For me:

More time
More patience
A calm house
No arguing or fighting ever
More money as a family
Less washing
Less cooking
Less mental load in general
Can take him the clubs and extra curricular he wants without trying to schedule 2 children
Easier for people to babysit
Lovely connection and one on one time
Better for my mental health
More room in our house
When DH takes him on a bike ride I can relax, when I take him out DH can play golf it just works so nicely.

It's bloody great. Me and my husband also have siblings that make everything harder so our DS also won't have that when he is older.

He will also inherit everything and not have to deal with dishing it out to siblings that dont give a crap like ours.

It's great 👍🏻

I have one young adult son and only had one because of my circumstances and loved it but it is my son who often says he wishes he had a brother or sister. But I tell him just because you have siblings does not mean you are close. I often wished had another but stayed single and busy bringing my son up and trying to do the best I could. Unless you are having a child because you really want one then I would not or you may regret it, just having one because you feel you have to or for a sibling for your child. What age are you and is there any time limit. The world is so crazy now I would not have any children if starting out again.

My one is perfect, I am so glad I don't have to divide my thoughts, my time, my energy, my resources between multiples.
And as an only child myself I don't miss adult siblings when I see how awful so many are. So many people are damaged by their sibling relationship!

I have one and no regrets. There are so many threads on here where parents are struggling to balance the needs of two different children and it is lovely not to have to worry about that. Also there are many threads of adult siblings falling out over family matters.

My DH has a lovely relationship with his brother but I am not close to my brother at all. Now that our parents are elderly the entire burden is falling on me and I am quite resentful about it. There are no guarantees of a good sibling relationship either as children or adults.

For balance, I have two and it’s early days but so far it really hasn’t been too bad.

I have a sister who is my best friend so I think that was probably one of the main things swaying my decision. The fact we are so close and it’s easy just to text/phone her does make me a bit lazier with my other friends though. I have a group of close friends but don’t have a best friend (other than my sister) whereas most of the rest of my friends have one clear best friend. I think it’s because I’ve just never felt like I needed to make all that much effort, which I’d see as a bad thing now 🤷🏼‍♀️

I grew up with 3 siblings. Had an only child for 14 years and honestly say I wish my daughter could have had the childhood I had. I wouldn't say we were poor but we definitely didn't have money for holidays or expensive clothes. We played together, we fought together and we laughed together. Moreover we shared everything and looked out for each other. We had friends but we also didn't need anybody. We also argued all the time over every stupid little thing. Kinda love and hate relationships. Money was never an issue for us. We just understood there's not enough money to buy 4 new pairs of shoes. So each month or whenever possible one of us would get what they needed. We never argued about that.
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My daughter is so different from us and it's not just her. I have many friends with only one child and they're all very alike. She's selfish, doesn't want to share, have absolutely no sense of what anything costs or how hard I had worked for everything she has. Yet it's still not enough. Very ungrateful and doesn't appreciates anything. Please understand this is not due to my parenting. I've tried to teach her from very young age to no avail. Nothing is enough. I've seen lots of u commenting u can give your child more financially. I used to think that but not now. Unless it's branded clothes, trainers, make up, money to go out or some other freakishly expensive thing she's not interested. We're talking £300 + trainers!!! Hell no, she ain't getting that even if I had the money to waste. Yet every birthday or Christmas I do what I can to get her what she wants.

But even that is not the reason why I wish she had siblings growing up. I watched my daughter cry her eyes out, depressed, shut in her room, cutting herself, do all sorts of stupid things to navigate friendships, puberty and trying to fit in all on her own. She struggled so much and I believe the reason why she struggled so much was due to not having any siblings to either watch and learn from them and go through things together. Support each other. After 14 years I had another child and can't believe the change in my daughter. She is happy to come home to her little sister, she's interested to know whether the baby and I are OK. She spends her pocket money to buy little things for her sister. She's asks whether the baby has everything before she asks for something for herself. She's present, she's involved and she's happy. She's looking forward to seeing the baby grow up, wants matching outfits and helps put wherever she can. She matured so much and at the same time is acting like a little girl again. Honestly I couldn't be happier.

I realise that's probably not the answer u were looking for. That is just my opinion from my experience. I always wanted only one child but now regret I didn't have them all at once.

When my sister and I were kids our parents actually looked into splitting up for a while and each taking a kid as we were so awful to each other. We are adults now and very close but definitely ruined our parents lives for a good 18 years.