Answering "how are you" with "fine" is such a lie

theduchessofspork · 21/10/2023 21:21

A lot of the time I am fine, and if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t want to get into it with some ransomer

FLOWER1982 · 21/10/2023 21:24

The thing is, people aren’t really interested in how you are. I remember someone asked how my Christmas was and I told them about how awful it was, I didn’t realise I was supposed to say lovely thanks - and you? Lesson learned.

LindorDoubleChoc · 21/10/2023 21:24

I'm either "very well thank you", "fine" or "trundling along OK". Anything else I keep to myself.

Used2beMw · 21/10/2023 21:25

Oh god, we have a ‘well-being’ check in during certain work meetings & are asked this. It’s so cringey.

Sparehair · 21/10/2023 21:28

I normally say “good thanks” but if I’m having a shocker I might say “ god, don’t ask” but in a lighthearted way. if I had to answer you truthfully now I’d say “nervous as hell and praying England don’t fuck this up”

CapitanSandy · 21/10/2023 21:30

Always “good thanks” if having a shit day ‘alright thanks’

megletthesecond · 21/10/2023 21:31

I almost always lie "fine" even if I'm mid nervous breakdown.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 21/10/2023 21:33

Not too bad (thanks Bill Bailey)

INeedAnotherName · 21/10/2023 21:34

I say "I'm okay, thanks. You?" It's just pleasantries, they don't really want to know.

My yorkshire Grandad always answered "Fair to middling" 😂

MaidOfSteel · 21/10/2023 21:35

That's why I can't stand this modern 'how are you?' nonsense. It's completely insincere. We never used to ask every person we happened across this question when i was younger and then starting out at work. Most of us really don't care how other people 'are' so what's wrong with just hello or good morning when greeting someone.

ApolloandDaphne · 21/10/2023 21:35

Fine = Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 21/10/2023 21:36

Is anybody actually fine when answering this question? I say "fine" whilst inwardly screaming and shouting "I'M NOT FINE".
If you answered honestly to "how are you?" what would you say?

Of course some people are fine. You surely can't think nobody is ever feeling fine? I answer honestly. I'm not sure why you wouldn't. I say anything from 'Great thanks!' to 'A bit rubbish / tired / ill' according to how I'm feeling. You don't have to go into detail.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 21/10/2023 21:37

That's why I can't stand this modern 'how are you?' nonsense.

There's really nothing modern about it at all.

tintinandhisdogsnowy · 21/10/2023 21:38

I was always taught that "how are you!" Isn't a question. People aren't interested in an answer

Original poster

Snowboat · 21/10/2023 21:38

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 21/10/2023 21:36

Is anybody actually fine when answering this question? I say "fine" whilst inwardly screaming and shouting "I'M NOT FINE".
If you answered honestly to "how are you?" what would you say?

Of course some people are fine. You surely can't think nobody is ever feeling fine? I answer honestly. I'm not sure why you wouldn't. I say anything from 'Great thanks!' to 'A bit rubbish / tired / ill' according to how I'm feeling. You don't have to go into detail.

I used to do this until I was told you're not supposed to tell the truth. The stock answer is "I'm fine thanks, how are you?" That's what people expect.

OP posts:

CalistoNoSolo · 21/10/2023 21:39

Nobody who asks is going to want to actually know that you're 'screaming inside' etc. It's just greasing the wheels bullshit chat. If you're really screaming inside, perhaps therapy is the answer for you.

Hugglethatmuggle · 21/10/2023 21:40

Basically what Flower said people generally are not bothered if your not fine so it's easier to save yourself from that and just reply fine.

TheQuestToStopPigeonWoppie · 21/10/2023 21:41

If I'm behaving myself, then I'm fine, or good.

But sometimes, I admit, I am an extremely deadpan tickety-boo.

Devilsmommy · 21/10/2023 21:47

@TheQuestToStopPigeonWoppie me too🤣🤭

marshmallowfinder · 21/10/2023 21:48

MaidOfSteel · 21/10/2023 21:35

That's why I can't stand this modern 'how are you?' nonsense. It's completely insincere. We never used to ask every person we happened across this question when i was younger and then starting out at work. Most of us really don't care how other people 'are' so what's wrong with just hello or good morning when greeting someone.

YES! 100% agree. It's incredibly tedious. I just say hello and leave it at that. Always have done, as you say.

KingsleyBorder · 21/10/2023 21:48

I usually say something like “oh you know, not so bad for a Monday”, but I see it as such a filler question that I almost always forget to ask how the other person is!
For work stuff I genuinely don’t care, I just want to get on with business. If they are not fine enough to work they would be off work. Beyond that it’s of no interest to me (I don’t manage anyone, I would of course be interested in how any direct reports were). And I don’t really like sharing my own personal info either.

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 21/10/2023 21:51

Autistic here, and this is one of the social 'rules' I still can't get to grips with - even when their eyes glaze over ....... 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

SallyWD · 21/10/2023 21:55

But it's not always a lie, is it? I'm often fine. If I feel a bit ill or tired or whatever I say so!

Legomania · 21/10/2023 21:56

'Fine' is usually exactly how I am feeling when talking with my bank manager or the guy fitting my carpets. Not ecstatic, not terrible, just fine

ACGTHelix · 21/10/2023 21:56

usually im taking care of business so in many ways its usually classified corporate related as to how i am, or its a cover story.