Answering "how are you" with "fine" is such a lie

[Snowboat]

Is anybody actually fine when answering this question? I say "fine" whilst inwardly screaming and shouting "I'M NOT FINE".
If you answered honestly to "how are you?" what would you say?

I'd say fine. Because I am.

My grandad had MS, was in constant pain, wheelchair bound. He'd always reply, 'not so bad how are you?' As he always said, people don't want an honest reply they've got too much of their own stuff going on!

I'm honest with friends and they are with me. I'd only ever say fine (if not true) when talking to someone who really doesn't want to hear eg my child's teacher on parents' evening.

It is odd because it's more a greeting than anything else - like hello - it's not really asking how you are at all.

You can do - mustn't grumble, don't get me started, could be worse - I'd complain but who wants to hear it said with laugh - but usually it's "fine" just to move on to the actual conversation.

This maybe

Easiest thing there surely is to launch into the actual problem you want them to deal with or alert them to - you could do fine but - or fine bar or just launch into issue well my left foot is bothering me.

I don't see that as rude but getting on with the whole reason for being there and no wasting anyone's time - it's an opening to conversation and a potentially less direct way of finding out why you are there.

So personally I wouldn't wait for them to ask and why are you here today but politely short cut though some conversation stages.

Because some people try to elevate the encounter, not drag it down.

The thing is - we are not obliged to tell people how we really feel and might not want to discuss it. 'Fine' closes down further discussion and that's our prerogative.

Failing
Insecure
Not good enough
Empty

When I say I'm fine I mean that.

Aw, y'know...

Unless it's a SNAFU day and the questioner would get it!

I'm a very sunny optimistic person and I always say fine. I'm aware that the response "sooo happy thank you, feeling grateful for the sun on my face this morning and the beautiful sky" is a really weird ott response but it's often what I'm thinking or similar

If it's someone I know, like a work colleague I'll answer in a fairly light way, such as "fine/glad it's Friday/enjoying the sunshine", and the "How are you?".

But it really annoys me when someone is trying to sell me something, and not only do they want my money, they are wasting my time too! I do not want to get into pleasantries before I even know who they are or why they are contacting me!

I find it a bit odd that so many people find this annoying or hard to navigate (unless they have ND traits which make social interaction difficult, of course).

You don't have to say you're fine, but you also don't need to go into more detail than would be normal for you to share with that person. So for the aversge friend / colleague / acquaintance, 'Not too bad, bit of a cold' is fine. 'Awful actually, I just had an operation on my piles, and my sister's husband just walked out on her' is too much unless you're having a heart-to-heart with someone you know really well!

It's not that people don't care. It's just that there's a level of emotion / detail / sharing that's appropriate for a brief conversation and a level that isn't.

And at work colleagues are presumably talking to people they know, ie more fellow workers, who see each other all the time and have issues in common. It's not the same as talking to strangers.

Exactly this!

I like Mandarin - there are two phrases (to any Mandarin speakers my keyboard won’t do tones).

Ni Hao? Literally means “you good” or hello- response is Hao. Ni Hao? Good how are you?

Ni Hao Ma? the ma denotes a question and the person asking can expect an honest (possibly longer) answer