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Original poster

My husband, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that...

275 replies

BrightlyCloudedSky · 19/10/2023 18:24

As he hasn't organised a gift for his brother's wedding, I should sit down tomorrow and draw or paint a picture to be framed and given. Reader, I cannot draw. Nor paint. 🤔

OP posts:
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17
BrightYellowDaffodil · 19/10/2023 21:23

How about a nice poem? Get a decent pen, write it out in swirly writing, frame and voila.

Roses are red
Just like a brick
You’ve not got a present
’Cos my husband’s a dick

Hugosauras · 19/10/2023 21:24

As time is now ticking away and you're seemingly yet to start work on your masterpiece, not outsource a commission, I think that your best bet is to buy something quickly from The Bradford Exchange. It has some truly captivating heirlooms most certainly befitting a wedding gift. In fact, I think us mumsnetters could help select them a little something.

https://www.bradford.co.uk/?tid=304393&tid=304393&gclid=CjwKCAjwp8OpBhAFEiwAG7NaEgUsignsXdhP8xHZWUi0KN4tqfaUQe_UIS0mnOuB8rdF-Cn1iDXx9BoCdU4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 19/10/2023 21:27

Just tell him to put on his big boy pants and sort a gift. It's his job, not yours. and if he truly thinks a home made drawing is appropriate you'll find him some crayons.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 19/10/2023 21:29

Does he want you to turn water into wine for the wedding breakfast as well?

Hugosauras · 19/10/2023 21:33

@Marisquita

Is that a bouquet of has she disemboweled the groom?

Iwasafool · 19/10/2023 21:35

BrightlyCloudedSky · 19/10/2023 18:24

As he hasn't organised a gift for his brother's wedding, I should sit down tomorrow and draw or paint a picture to be framed and given. Reader, I cannot draw. Nor paint. 🤔

He's either an idiot or he's so besotted with you that he thinks anything done by you would be a fantastic present. Fit for a King in fact. They will be honoured to receive it.

They may or may not feel the same.

JohnThorntonsOverbearingMother · 19/10/2023 21:45

I don't know this brother and yet am confident the brother would like the gift of cash.

Marisquita · 19/10/2023 21:48

@Hugosauras perhaps in fact she has disembowelled her new brother-in-law for procuring such a wretched present.

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/10/2023 21:53

Is the OP stuck, with various types of glue, to the kitchen table?

We're worried about you OP... please check in with a progress report!

JudgeJ · 19/10/2023 21:54

Hugosauras · 19/10/2023 21:33

@Marisquita

Is that a bouquet of has she disemboweled the groom?

It's modern art so it's whatever you imagine it is!

ChishiyaBat · 19/10/2023 21:54

I had a quick google&found this beauty, white emulsion on black rock, hopefully you can recreate or get next day delivery.

My husband, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that...
CesareBorgia · 19/10/2023 21:54

Pick up a lovely vintage picture from a charity shop

My husband, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that...
LittleMonks11 · 19/10/2023 21:55

sprigatito · 19/10/2023 18:28

I think you should seize this opportunity, OP. A searing avant-garde abstract meditation on the modern bondage of the married state. Perhaps using your own menstrual blood.

😂

Ellie56 · 19/10/2023 21:56

BrightlyCloudedSky · 19/10/2023 18:24

As he hasn't organised a gift for his brother's wedding, I should sit down tomorrow and draw or paint a picture to be framed and given. Reader, I cannot draw. Nor paint. 🤔

Hmm 😆😆

LittleMonks11 · 19/10/2023 22:00

This thread is 24K Gold

coffeorbust · 19/10/2023 22:04

CesareBorgia · 19/10/2023 21:54

Pick up a lovely vintage picture from a charity shop

I really want this . How much?

bungletru · 19/10/2023 22:05

Lol

surely money in a card is the solution here

JudgeJ · 19/10/2023 22:10

Lifeomars · 19/10/2023 20:09

May I suggest that you make a collage from pasta, lentils, plus anything you find if you have one of those drawers where odd bits and pieces are laid to rest. Call it "Domestic Life", I am sure they will love it!

Please don't, poor couple. Many a reception classroom/area has been infested with things attracted by the pasta, lentils etc.!

thequeenoftarts · 19/10/2023 22:18

Dip his ass in paint and splodge that on white paper and frame it

TheGooseDrankWine · 19/10/2023 22:19

You may not be able to paint or draw Op, but what about an arty abstract collage?
Gather all the pics you can find from social media and old family pics of the happy couple, crop down to all the cleavage, bum, bicep, hairy leg, belly summer bare flesh close ups and put it all together in a collage of their naked bodies.

Frame, wrap, ask DH to write a suitable gift tag to attach.

CheshireCat1 · 19/10/2023 22:30

viques · 19/10/2023 20:59

Is he The Joy of Pain man, I have never dared watch.

Show quote history

Love watching Bob Ross, it’s so relaxing.

TheGooseDrankWine · 19/10/2023 22:31

mysocksarehaunted · 19/10/2023 20:51

Sorry OP this is challenge I would love. You can do this!
Get to a big charity shop asap, find the nicest most ornate frame you can, pref one with a white mount and then a load of old romance novels, different vintages/fonts.
Then go to a newsagents and get a bunch of different newspapers and lifestyle magazines - pref romantic/nature/gardening themed and a gold and silver marker and prit stick and scissors, some basic kids paint palettes with a pink.
Then you can create a pretty collage from romance novel pages overlaying each other (proof read carefully and discard any smutty ones, unless that would be their thing?) maybe some you can do a pinkish paint wash over some of the pages, if you think you'll have time to dry them. Then you can cut and paste little cut outs of roses, birds, champagne glasses, white horses, fairies or any cutesy stuff over the top, you can also use cut out letters from newspapers to make their names and wedding date underneath. (Honestly I know this sounds a bit poison pen-ish but in context it will be whimsy cottage-core.) Then you can add gold and silver accents, and maybe 'gild' the entire frame.
Then charge your husband Etsy going rates for it 😁
If you decide to go down the painting/drawing route - make sure you brazen it out with bold, firm strokes. Good Luck!

You can do this!

Not if she has a f/t job and kids to wrangle, she can't! The wedding is on Saturday.

And I feel bold firm strokes are better applied to her 'D'H! With a wet fish or similar.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 19/10/2023 22:32

This is one of the best “Dumb DH Ideas” thread ever!
Doesn’t he like his brother?

WinterVibes · 19/10/2023 22:32

Go for it. Paint the absolute shittiest of shitville wanky pants pictures you can and hand to DH for 'framing'.

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