Page 11 | My husband, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that...

Winnipeg23 · 20/10/2023 19:04

Thank you for a good Friday night laugh. Just what I needed🤣

Workbabysleeprepeat · 20/10/2023 19:20

Brilliant thread op 😂

MeMySonAnd1 · 20/10/2023 19:44

Cantstopcoughing · 20/10/2023 02:17

This made me giggle.

we got The Joy of Sex book an an anniversary present, they signed the inside, I finally chucked it last year, about thirty years after the divorce.

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Funny that you mention the Joy of Sex. It was the absolute and ultimate Sex Making Manual/Gospel of my exH. So much I hated that book that, when the divorce came through I planned to do a bonfire with all the books and manuals he left behind, The Joy of Sex was at the top of my list!.

Problem was... I couldn't find it, the bastard took it with him! 😂

Ilovecleaning · 20/10/2023 19:57

BrightlyCloudedSky · 19/10/2023 18:24

As he hasn't organised a gift for his brother's wedding, I should sit down tomorrow and draw or paint a picture to be framed and given. Reader, I cannot draw. Nor paint. 🤔

FFS. Is this a wind up?

Bluebonnet100 · 20/10/2023 20:20

🤣🤣🤣OMG, men are so ridiculous. (Or, is that stupid?)

NatM70 · 20/10/2023 20:52

This made me laugh, sorry!

What did not make me laugh was when an acquaintance asked me to paint the church where mutual friends got married as a gift to them, from her.
And told me her budget was £40.
As materials are so expensive for a decent painting, not to mention the time involved, I was insulted! And said no.

PitySheWasAWhore · 20/10/2023 21:01

If your kids are unable to fulfil your husbands (ridiculous) demands, can I suggest boob painting?
Dunk your breasts in which ever medium you fancy and bounce (or flop) them on the paper.
The more realistic the better.

Littlemissprosecco · 20/10/2023 21:07

More like he’s a 🍩

MinietheMini · 20/10/2023 21:14

Frame a photocopy of your bum!

Jacesmum1977 · 20/10/2023 21:30

🤣🤣🤣🤣 how funny lol 😂
If you did it, can we see it?
Sorry I haven’t scrolled through the rest of the post in case you’ve already posted it

MissingMoominMamma · 20/10/2023 21:34

Haven’t read the thread, but the OP really made me laugh! 😁

AlleycatMarie · 20/10/2023 21:56

OP I love this, made me laugh so much. Thank you!

SequentialAnalyst · 21/10/2023 00:11

MeMySonAnd1 · 20/10/2023 19:44

Funny that you mention the Joy of Sex. It was the absolute and ultimate Sex Making Manual/Gospel of my exH. So much I hated that book that, when the divorce came through I planned to do a bonfire with all the books and manuals he left behind, The Joy of Sex was at the top of my list!.

Problem was... I couldn't find it, the bastard took it with him! 😂

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I really liked that book! Tried to re-buy it second hand not that long ago, but couldn't find it. Perhaps a lot of recently divorced women did the same as @MeMySonAnd1

OhcantthInkofaname · 21/10/2023 02:19

Can't he do his comedy routine? Because that certainly seems like a comedy.
You could also get four canvases and paint them pastel pink, blue, green and yellow.

Cariadm · 21/10/2023 02:22

Is this a serious post because it sounds to me like your DH needs to 'take more water with it' if you know what I mean?! 🤔🙄😱

MeMySonAnd1 · 21/10/2023 02:46

I didn’t do anything, reader… I never found the book!

SequentialAnalyst · 21/10/2023 03:04

MeMySonAnd1 · 21/10/2023 02:46

I didn’t do anything, reader… I never found the book!

My point is that other women in similar circumstances may have found their copy and disposed of it in a bonfire or other suitably satisfying manner. Hence, copies are surprisingly scarce. Or maybe the ones that are still married, and still like the book are hanging onto their well-worn copies because they are still at it in love

Whatonearthdidicomeinherefor · 21/10/2023 10:21

I haven’t laughed so much for ages!

This would beat the golf compendium book one couple received from a friend at their wedding- neither of them had any interest in golf. They still managed to show delight when he presented it (unwrapped) to them.

Whatonearthdidicomeinherefor · 21/10/2023 10:22

Nows · 19/10/2023 21:18

Draw this, leave it on his pillow tonight, and see if he comes up with an alternative idea for a wedding pic tomorrow.

😂😂😂

Whatonearthdidicomeinherefor · 21/10/2023 10:46

I wonder what they gave them…..🤔

Givemethereins · 21/10/2023 12:05

RubyBoozeDay · 19/10/2023 18:27

Potato prints are fun to make. Then you can throw the potatoes at his head afterwards.

Now that's funny as hell

MeMySonAnd1 · 21/10/2023 13:59

SequentialAnalyst · 21/10/2023 03:04

My point is that other women in similar circumstances may have found their copy and disposed of it in a bonfire or other suitably satisfying manner. Hence, copies are surprisingly scarce. Or maybe the ones that are still married, and still like the book are hanging onto their well-worn copies because they are still at it in love

Edited

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I see it often in charity shops, you just need to look at non fiction and obviously, at the top shelves. Or check get 10 books for 25p boxes in carboots. I am sure your chances to find are quite high. Personally I hated it, as the idiot I was married to was convinced that if you were not following instructions step by step you were doing things wrong, fully mechanical sex, no spontaneity, just the same as following a car repair manual but without the joy of having fixed the car...

Underconstruction · 22/10/2023 18:38

Many moons ago I remember seeing a canvas advertised that came with paint (maybe two colours). You were supposed to each cover yourself in paint then have sex on the canvas for a “unique and personal” canvas. You could suggest that to your husband or, on the basis it might a bit too personal as a gift, you could just give the pots of paint and let the newlyweds get to work.

HurdyGurdy19 · 03/11/2023 13:22

Did we ever get an update on what gift the happy couple received? I feel like I'm just dangling on a string, and really want to know 🤣

Darklane · 03/11/2023 13:33

We once, on a visit to London, went into the Tate. There was a canvas on the wall, very prominent, it was just a blank white canvas except for in two opposite corners there were two small stripes, across the corners, one red, one green. Highly regarded….hung in the Tate 😳. You could do that, wrap it & say you’d gone to great trouble to copy a Tate masterpiece.
Remember it reminded me of nothing so much as the patterns that children used to draw but at least they made the effort to fold the paper into lots of squares & pattern each one.