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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your child(ren)?

119 replies

Backtogetheragain · 18/10/2023 14:42

just interested!

I found out with DS but when I was having my second baby I wanted a girl so I didn’t find out in case I felt a bit disappointed if she was a boy … as it turned out she was a girl.

If I had a third which I won’t I would find out!

OP posts:

jamsandwich1 · 18/10/2023 18:54

OP I’m exactly the same as you! Found out with my first (DS). I really wanted my second to be a girl but didn’t want to find out before because I knew at birth I’d feel delighted with either and love them so much. Turned out she was a girl which was a huge surprise and I did find it really special that my husband could tell me. We are sticking at 2 but I think I’d have a surprise again if I did have a third!

DaisyWaldron · 18/10/2023 18:57

With DC1 I found out, but DH and I kept it to ourselves. With DC2, we didn't find out, and everyone else speculated the whole way through the pregnancy. I preferred not knowing, but disliked the speculation,vso if I were to do it again, I wouldn't find out, but would lie and tell other people that we knew but were keeping it private.

DiscoBeat · 18/10/2023 18:59

We didn't with the first (we wanted a surprise and not bothered with gender reveal parties) but with the second we wanted to know whether to keep all the baby boy clothes or not so we did find out.

ChillysWaterBottle · 18/10/2023 19:09

Meniscus · 18/10/2023 17:43

Yes. Why wouldn’t you? It’s just another available piece of information you can get from scans, and frankly the roughly 50/50 ‘boy or girl’ isn’t at all ‘surprising’, whether you find out in utero or at birth.

This is how I feel. No skin off my nose if other people want to wait and I'd never say this to anyone's face but I secretly think it's a bit of an odd thing to do.

I found out as soon as I could. I knew already though, had a gut feeling from two weeks.

Torganer · 18/10/2023 19:15

We weren’t going to ask, but had to have lots of scans and it was very obvious! It was during Covid so my husband couldn’t come in. I blurted out the sex after the scan (I wasn’t bothered/verging on not wanting to know, he wanted to know). It was a nice twist that I got to tell him instead!! It didn’t really change anything for us in terms of buying things (I’m very anti-gendered stuff). It did help narrow down the names and we felt more close to the baby, but I’m not sure why!! Perhaps it made us think of the baby being more ‘human’, rather than an outline on the screen!

SkyFullofStars1975 · 18/10/2023 19:16

No, following a stillbirth I didn't give a shit what sex they were, just that they were born alive and healthy.

Shopper727 · 18/10/2023 19:18

I have 4 children, with my eldest 2 it wasn’t really a thing to find out, unless you went private and then v expensive. Other 2 it was more common but I didn’t really want to know so I didn’t find out until they were born,
however by no4 I wasn’t surprised to be handed my baby and I looked to see and he was son no4, absolutely blessed with them all

Scottishskifun · 18/10/2023 19:21

We did both times mainly as we are rubbish at name thinking! I also found with DS1 it meant DH connected a bit more rather then referring to bump or the baby.

Marblessolveeverything · 18/10/2023 19:27

I found out on both occasions, pure curiosity and lack of patience to be honest.

Had no preference of sex, both boys. It was a surprise to see who they looked like on each occasion.

clappyjay · 18/10/2023 19:28

Also the midwives seem to be very excited if you come and don’t know the sex! My midwife said she loves it when it happens because it’s not often.

Ragwort · 18/10/2023 19:34

No ... it didn't really occur to me to want to know .. we had names planned and we had no 'preference' ... I appreciate it's only going to be one of two options but to me that is a surprise.... as it happens I was out of it due to an EMCS, my DH had asked the Doctor to call him when I came round so he could break the news but I was so anxious that the Doctor told me it was a boy. Having dreaded labour the best news of all was having the CS .

mondaytosunday · 18/10/2023 19:35

Yes. I was over 40, my husband had two kids already and finding out meant we could pick a name and the baby became a person. Second baby same (and a girl - first on his side in 100 years)! She's here now cooking dinner...

Totalwasteofpaper · 18/10/2023 19:41

The "I want a surprise" argument always gets an eye roll from me.
You had a 38week long surprise... I had an 18 week long surprise
Whoop Dee doo for both of us...

The worst is couples who find out the sex... then Smugly refuse to tell anyone and doing knowing smiles at each other 🤮

WandaWonder · 18/10/2023 19:51

No because there was no point, what were we going to say if it was not thr 'right' one 'sorry can we pick another'?

HaplessRhombus · 18/10/2023 20:16

Yes, I feel it helped me bond with them before they were born. Also, we have a lot of males on my husband's side so I wanted time to find a good name that hadn't already been used.

Personally, I don't care about the surprise element at birth. For one, I don't think it's the exciting anyway, it's a 50-50 thing and irrelevant anyway. The day of birth is such an amazing and intense time meeting your baby, I don't think the gender would have added anything. I preferred having the small surprise of the gender on a separate day to meeting the baby.

RusticChips · 18/10/2023 20:24

No not with any of my 3 - I think especially with the 3rd one I was the only one in hospital who hadn't. I really liked the surprise as it didn't matter any way. Had girl, boy, girl x

pamshortsbrokenbothherlegs · 18/10/2023 20:33

I always thought I'd want a surprise and so didn't find out with my first, it was so magical discovering that she was a she in the moment.

This time around we had the shock of our lives to be told we were having twins, so ultimately decided to find out the sexes as we weren't feeling able to deal with any more surprises. Honestly I regret it now and wish I didn't know! I do feel like it's taken something away and knowing certainly doesn't make me feel any more bonded to these babies than I was to DD.

SoAndSoSaidSo · 18/10/2023 21:08

Surprise with both and oldest got too check first with 2nd as we had a Homebirth.

Schum · 18/10/2023 21:12

Didn't find out with any of my four, the moment we found out at their birth was just magical.

DeathRattleDazzle · 18/10/2023 22:40

The "I want a surprise" argument always gets an eye roll from me.
You had a 38week long surprise... I had an 18 week long surprise
Whoop Dee doo for both of us...

It's really not the same thing in my view. It is finding out the sex, yes, but in totally different circumstances to each other. Each has their pros and cons but they're not the same experience in my opinion.

In all honesty I do a very tiny internal eye roll at the 'bonding' and 'getting organised' type reasons as I don't really understand that thinking, but each to their own.

OhOurBilly · 18/10/2023 22:57

DC1, not until birth.

DC 2 & then 3. Yes because they were both poorly and we wanted to have the time to name them before they were born and went on ahead. 🤍🤍

BobbitWorm · 18/10/2023 23:06

Yes because I wanted a girl. Several scans confirmed girl. They were wrong. Had a boy. Turned out I didn't care. Now I wouldn't bother finding out.

Fourcandleforkhandle · 18/10/2023 23:13

Didn't find out for any of my 5 Children. Such a long time to wait and find out especially when I have gone 2 weeks over 40 weeks for all of them and had induced Labours. But always nice to be told at the end.
(2 Boys first then 3 Girls).

BiddyPop · 19/10/2023 08:52

Not until my DC was born.

Same with my DB for his 2 DCs much more recently.

But while it was becoming less common when mine was born, it was still a majority who didn't find out. Whereas DB found with his, 15 years later, that almost everyone finds out now and there was confusion in a number of scans that they didn't know and didn't want to know.

fussychica · 19/10/2023 09:07

No but he's nearly 31 so wasn't really a thing then.
I think not knowing, especially for the first child, is all part of the excitement. However I was convinced by the shape I was that I was having a boy, and I was but then I had a 50:50 chance of being right😄

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