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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your child(ren)?

119 replies

Backtogetheragain · 18/10/2023 14:42

just interested!

I found out with DS but when I was having my second baby I wanted a girl so I didn’t find out in case I felt a bit disappointed if she was a boy … as it turned out she was a girl.

If I had a third which I won’t I would find out!

OP posts:
Madcatwoman68 · 18/10/2023 15:20

No. I wanted a surprise at the end of giving birth.
A few years back my cousin had a surprise baby. As it wasn't planned she wanted to try and get organised. She was told she was having a girl. Got nursery painted,bought clothes,chose a name and told everybody.

She had a boy!

Mystro202 · 18/10/2023 15:21

I didn't find out with 1& 2 but did with dc3. The surprise is lovely for thr first imo 😊

Strokethefurrywall · 18/10/2023 15:21

No with first, yes with second.

If I had a third I wouldn't find out again. Nothing but personal preference.

PinkMoscatoLover · 18/10/2023 15:23

If you choose not to know the sex then it isn’t that much of a surprise at birth is it? You know it’ll either be a girl or a boy!

For that reason I found out during both pregnancies. I couldn’t see the point in not wanting to know unless it was a reason similar to yours OP

Soubriquet · 18/10/2023 15:25

Yep, I did with both. Wouldn’t hesitate to find out for the 3rd either but I’m not having another one

BeeCucumber · 18/10/2023 15:25

DS 1 - wanted it to be a surprise but even though I asked the MW not to tell me - she told me anyway with a smirk and when my DH challenged her she denied hearing my request.

DS2 and DD1 and DD2 were born at home and DH told me.

BarnacleBeasley · 18/10/2023 15:28

I did - I didn't want a girl as such, and wasn't disappointed to be having a boy, but I definitely felt more mentally prepared for a girl. I think it's to do with having lots of nieces. And I don't like surprises. So I'm the opposite of you, OP - if we were going to be slightly disappointed we preferred to get it over with (had NIPT at 10 weeks anyway) so we could spend the rest of the pregnancy being excited about our lovely little boy. With DS2, we also found out early but also he had a massive sticky-out willy on his 20-week scan, which you couldn't really miss.

DeathRattleDazzle · 18/10/2023 15:41

If you choose not to know the sex then it isn’t that much of a surprise at birth is it? You know it’ll either be a girl or a boy!

Hmm. I know it can only be one of two options, but it was a big shock each time to be honest. It did feel like a surprise. The moment of birth and DH telling me it was a boy or girl each time was just a moment of pure, unadulterated joy for me. I'm sure it would have been wonderful anyway but for me the 'surprise' and saying hello for the first time to my son or daughter was just utter perfection.

cptartapp · 18/10/2023 15:47

Yes both times. My friend didn't and was told immediately after anaesthetic for c section and had to try to process the information all groggy and drugged up. She felt everyone else knew before she did.

WotNoUserName · 18/10/2023 16:02

With my oldest I wanted a surprise (boy) with my next two pregnancies I wanted to know (boy, twin boys) and my last I went for a surprise again (no surprise, another boy!)

Lots of people were disappointed I had only boys (family and complete strangers!) I never gave a fuck about the sex of my much wanted children.

2boys1princess · 18/10/2023 16:07

Ds1 yes
Ds2 no. Wanted a girl so bad and was worried if it was a boy wouldn’t be that excited anymore.
Dd 1 yes. Was convinced it was another boy and was mentally content with the thought of a 3rd boy. Was even looking forward to him as DS had picked a name already. Turned out to be girl!!!

SoupDragon · 18/10/2023 16:10

Backtogetheragain · 18/10/2023 15:11

No one’s suggested it wouldn’t have been amazing?

Show quote history

Apart from the people who say "oh, I wanted a surprise at the birth and it was just soooo amazing!"

not sure why you've taken my comment personally though.

AliasGrape · 18/10/2023 16:10

No. Honestly no one in my family has ever found out (there’s tons of us and I have loads of nephews and nieces) and it never really occurred to me to either - I was actually quite surprised when I was pregnant by how many people asked if we were finding out/ expected us to. I’d had in my head it was a more unusual thing to do for some reason, I realise that’s not the case now though!

I’d have worried I’d feel disappointed too - I wouldn’t say I had a strong preference and I knew that once my much wanted and long awaited baby was in my arms I’d be so happy
and just love them whether boy or girl, but if I’d found out sooner my capacity to overthink and fret might have kicked in, either way!

If I had a second (we’re too old now so won’t be) I might have been more tempted to find out just to experience both ways, but suspect I’d end up opting for another surprise when it came to it.

Rowgtfc72 · 18/10/2023 16:11

No, dd was a surprise.
Everyone said I was carrying a boy. I bought a blue blanket and we chose Joshua as a name.
The day I came out of hospital we did a massive tesco raid for pink clothes and we had to very quickly think of a name.
She's named after dhs first car. We still have the blanket.

DeathRattleDazzle · 18/10/2023 16:19

Apart from the people who say "oh, I wanted a surprise at the birth and it was just soooo amazing!"

But...it was amazing! 😂 that's why I chose to do that for my own pregnancies and birth. You did your own thing. That's fine, people have their own experiences. I think it's you that's taking it personally?

FlyingHighFlyingLow · 18/10/2023 16:19

Going into pregnancy we weren't going to find out. Then I got pregnant. I was ill, was in EPU for suspected ectopic, in triage very regularly for antepartum haemorrhages. It may sound silly to most but I was sat there at 22 weeks, bleeding yet again, having a conversation with the doctors about viability and how much I'd been bleeding, and 'baby' or 'it' was just really impersonal and didn't feel right. In all that was going on I just needed to be able to say he/she, the more personal nature of knowing something about them, no matter how little which one they were mattered to me or how little knowing helped. Also at the same time all the old wives tales were saying girl and all family etc were getting excited about it being a girl and I just wanted to know and nip it in the bud.

I'm 34 weeks now and having a little boy! Everyone is so excited to meet him and he is already so so spoiled. I don't regret finding out, I just can't wait to meet him. It hasn't taken any excitement away from me, and is something that helped even a little in some really tough times of pregnancy.

Would I have found out if the pregnancy hadn't been so complex? No idea. It's quite possible I would have caved, but I'm a person that has to know everything and hates surprises 😂

DeathRattleDazzle · 18/10/2023 16:20

She's named after dhs first car. We still have the blanket

Aw baby Fiesta 💕

unlimitedwallpaper · 18/10/2023 16:23

This was my feeling too.

unlimitedwallpaper · 18/10/2023 16:24

Sorry that was supposed to be in reply to @CorylusAgain

MrsRainMac · 18/10/2023 16:26

I haven’t with any of mine. I always liked the idea of it being a surprise and I was never really that bothered about what the sex was. Although, my family were fine and quite excited about me not finding out with my first 2 (both boys) but I’m pregnant with my 3rd and they’ve been quite impatient about not knowing the sex. I think it’s because this will be my last baby and they’re hoping for a granddaughter/niece etc. I’m happy either way!.

Original poster
Backtogetheragain · 18/10/2023 16:28

@SoupDragon - I haven’t, I just wanted to clarify I don’t think anyone was inferring anything either way. Sorry if it sounded as if I was challenging you. It was ‘said’ in a friendly chatty sort of voice but maybe didn’t translate well!

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/10/2023 16:29

No because I didn't think I needed to. I was convinced or rather "knew for fact" I was having a boy. I would have confidently betted my winning lottery numbers on it without a first thought never mind a second. . I could even visualise the blue cards and flowers around my bed. When DD I vaguely remember saying to the anesthetist "A girl!! Are your sure!.😂

MargotBamborough · 18/10/2023 16:30

Yes I did, mainly because you only get 72 hours to register the birth where I live so needed to be certain about the name each time.

If I ever had a third, which I probably won't, I think I would like it to be a surprise. I already have a boy and a girl so I wouldn't really mind either way, and we had a "runner up" name for each sex.

clappyjay · 18/10/2023 16:31

I didn’t find out the second time and in my opinion it did add something really special and exciting to the birth! I was really glad I got to experience that.

I also find it more exciting when other people don’t know what they’re having so you get to find out the sex as well as the name when they announce the birth 😆 (not very relevant I know)

it is personal choice though 👍🏻

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/10/2023 16:32

DD1 - yes
DD2 - yes. I was adamant she was a boy so was mightily confused when they said girl 😂
DC3 - I have a ‘gender’ sex scan on Saturday when I’ll be 16+1

I am far too impatient to wait.

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