I am 30, single and want a dog - a good or bad idea?

[popcorn234]

I am early 30s. Very single. Work in the office 2-3 times a week (max). Live in London and have a fairly active social life.

And I’ve been seriously considering recently about getting a dog. I know what I want - a cavapoo as my brother has one and I absolutely adore him.

I think having my own dog would give me a new lease of life. I really am quite lonely most of the time being single. I am fully aware that getting a dog won’t fill that void, but I think there would be a lot of benefits

HOWEVER, I also fully appreciate too how hard dogs are. One of my biggest concerns is the commitment when I am currently living by myself. Also, I would have to spend money on doggy day care for a few days a week as my office is not dog friendly, not to mention the monthly cost of insurance, pet food etc.

Basically, I am asking for your advice. Your experience (specifically if you’ve been in my situation and have a dog). Your thoughts/views on getting a dog in my circumstances!

(please be kind too)

I think not. I would not be surprised if the number of days in the office is increased over time.

I think it depends on your social life really - doggy day care would cover the office working but the dog could get quite lonely if you're out a few times a week. Do you have a garden? If you're in a flat then you'd need to think about going out every time the dog needs or may need a toilet break. What about holidays - do you like to go abroad? There are lots of dog friendly places to go in the UK however! Would you consider a cat instead? More independent. Dogs are fantastic companions if you could fit one in to your lifestyle though!

I have been in your situation and I didn't get a dog.

What eventually made me decide not to was that when I was thinking through it all my thoughts were...

a) what the dog would bring to my life, not what I would bring to the dog's
and
b) everything I needed to put in place felt precarious and/or like a compromise on the standard of care I would wan tto give a dog, ideally

So it was nice to think about how a dog would give me something to come home to. But from the dog's POV that means being without me for significant chunks of time.

I could use day care to alleviate that but I didn't really want someone else training and influencing my dog like that, when I wasn't there to check it went well and that habits being ingrained were the habits I wanted etc.

Also, there is no guarantee a dog will like daycare - for many dogs it is too busy and ull on a setting for them. Or too scary, etc. So if I ended up with a dog that could not cope, wth would I do? Plus, daycare hours are not always alligned to a working day - so I left for the office at 6.30am each mornning and didn;t get back until 7pm each night. No daycare would cover that.

The cost commitment of any dog is significant but one that needs several days of daycare - that's a BIG outlay and would mean there bbeing an extra financial risk.

Finally, I worried about emergency cover. What if the daycare closed or something happened to me? All it would take is a twisted ankle and without support around, how would walk the dog etc?

So I waited for the best part of 10 years, until I was able and ready to move to the countryide, near family who could pitch in and into a job that was full time WFH.

Dogs are wonderful, they can offer a genuine connection and uncomplicated affection.

However, they shouldn’t be left alone for more than 4 hours on a regular basis. As you say you can use doggy daycare on your work days.

I am concerned about your active social life. That might need to change depending on what it consists of.

Walking a dog can be a pleasant way to socialise informally with neighbours and other dog walkers particularly if you walk your dog locally. Your dog will miss you if you are out a lot though. A dog is a commitment and a responsibility.

If you think you are up for restructuring your life to suit your new companion I would say go for it.

I know single women who have got a dog for companionship and not regretted it but it is a tie, making certain activities and holidays difficult or impossible. In the case of my friends who have done this I have been more than happy to spend time with them on country walks or at dog friendly cafes, it depends really on what kind of socialising you enjoy and if you would be able to provide a reasonably predictable routine for your dog and adequate time for companionship, playing and walking.

Ok, I have a cat not a dog - not exactly the same, but also 30's and single.

One thing I didn't consider was the care if I was away. I have an amazing pet sitter who comes in, but it adds at least £50 to the cost of a weekend away having someone come in to feed the cat, and the cat doesn't need walking and company!

Also makes it harder for a spontaneous trip away anywhere that isn't dog friendly.

It isn't a reason not to, but another thing to consider.

I've shared a dog with DP but he's moving out and I'll have the dog alone half the time
I'm already nervous about it! It was sometimes tricky enough with both of us.

Like you WFH mostly but two or three days a week in the office - cost of doggy day care plus no spontaneity. Can't just go out after work. In fact I don't imagine I'll be able to go out on any evenings I'm in the office - apart from any dog friendly stuff (pub, friends house). I won't leave him during the day and at night on the same day.

Fewer nights out or at least limited plans - I won't leave dog alone for more than four and a bit hours after a decent walk. So need for planning walks/training/enrichment meticulously around work and other plans. Travelling into the city followed by dinner and theatre is out - too many hours.

No whole day trips anywhere unless dog friendly/more doggy day care.

Expensive dog care while on holiday.

All of the walks - morning noon night/whenever needed whatever the weather. No one to share responsibility with.

Puppy phase - they can not be left alone. Even once vaccinated and allowed outside they can not do long walks with a dog walker while little - no more than five minutes per month they are old (10 minutes at 2 months, 15 minutes at 3 months etc)
How will you toilet train if you're in the office? Either me or DP was at home 24/7 in the early days and it was tough.

I have a dog who is the love of my life but I would not get a dog if I was single, living alone and having to go into an office.

As well as a cat, have you considered house rabbits. I have had friends who have found them lovely company and if you have two they can be company for each other while you are out. Probably only good if you have a bit of garden so they can spend some time outside nibbling grass.

As a pp mentioned I wouldn’t consider a dog without a garden either.

Like CobwebsandCauldrons I waited until I lived in a house with a secure garden and in a good place for walks before getting a dog. I wanted to be sure I was ready to offer a pet the best life I could.

I got a youngster, less than a year old from the RSPCA. He can’t go to doggy daycare, or kennels or be walked by anyone not used to dogs who need careful handling. Fortunately my work and lifestyle mean I can provide what he needs. I holiday in the UK in dog friendly cottages. I adore him and enjoy the relationship we’ve built up through all the extra training and attention he has needed due to his breeding and being a rescue.

Ps I really don't think a dog brings a new lease of life unless you want your new life to be dog centric - walking, dog agility classes, training etc. It's restrictive and will put a stop to many aspects of your life.

If you're looking for a new lease of life I would consider other options first. If you want to hang at home more, do some nice walks, roll back on social activities then a dog could work.

If you already don't have a big social life a dog could work.

Sorry for sounding negative! But I don't need to tell you the benefits - dogs are amazing.

I'm single 40 with a good social life soon to be living alone with a dog so any specific questions please ask!

Think about your average week, how much would have to change to fit in with a dog. When you are in the office do you like to pop out for drinks afterwards? Do you want to spend hours leisurely shopping or other dog unfriendly activities. A dog is incredibly tying. Could you look after your DBs dog for a week or so to see how it would change what you currently do.

I read somewhere that a lot of people think they want a dog, but what they really want from a pet is way more suited to a cat.

Borrow my dog. Why don't you join and borrow a dog to take for walks. You can still build a great bond with a dog you see regularly. Also you could get a cat. Cats don't mind being alone sometimes.

Borrow my dog. Why don't you join and borrow a dog to take for walks. You can still build a great bond with a dog you see regularly. Also you could get a cat. Cats don't mind being alone sometimes.

My neighbour is disabled now and is always happy for someone to walk her little dog. I feel obliged to help, even though we have 2 dogs of our own, because I feel sorry for her dog.

Why not a cat? Do you have a garden?

I'd like a dog but I'm waiting until I retire because I just can't leave a dog alone for the hours I work. I have two cats now, they are great and don't mind me going to work at all. They amuse each other.

If you can arrange day care or a dog walker, afford insurance and everything else then I say go for it.
I was a similar age when I got my first dog and people tried to talk me out of it, saying it was a responsibility etc.

I was single, knew I wasn't going to have kids and wanted the responsibility. She was the best thing to ever happen to me and I couldn't be without a dog or a cat now.

Enjoy every moment if you do do it & put in the work regarding training etc

If you have an active social life, unless it's to events you can take a dog to, no. Don't get a dog. You can't leave a social animal alone for hours in the evening as well as during the day. It's not just about them needing a wee, they need company, stimulation, activity, and not just walks.

I've been walking my friends Doberman for 10 years now. She can't take him to any dog-friendly cafes as he is reactive to some dogs & won't settle/lie down. He is massive though. They've barely been on holiday since they got him as again he wouldn't settle in a holiday cottage & they can't just take him out with them all day etc etc. They love him but he's been a real tie since they got him. She enjoys walking him but has a group of friends who also have dogs. He can be left 4 or 5 hours but I do feel sorry for him in the days she works as he's obviously been alone all night then just sees his humans for an hour then alone again most of the day with me popping in for an hour midway through the day etc. I foster cats & also have my own. All very different personalities- I think they're great & I don't feel as guilty when I go out as they have a cat flap & enclosed garden etc. Cats are still expensive/a hassle when we want to go away though & obviously food & insurance is a lot each month too. A pair of young rescue cats would be great company for you OP & company for each other too when you are at work. Sprinkle toys and treats around & leave Classic FM on = all sorted 👏 do you have a garden?

I am also " very single" and got a dog warly 2022. My social life is now very difficult made harder that my dog is very active and wont settle down either at someone elses house or in our own house if someone minds him . Totally appreciate this is an unusual problem but your dog may have any behavioural issue that might affect your current view of life with a dog. I.e. what if yours is scared or reactive and cant go to daycare. What if he gets separation anxiety? Etc etc. I dont think i can put into words the level of sacrifice ive made

I wouldn’t because it’ll cause problems whenever you want to go away. I don’t think it’s nice to leave a dog in the house on their own with just a dog walker coming or at doggy day care, they are very sociable and will miss you when you’re not there. You’ll also spend a lot of your time taking the dog out for walks etc.

A cat would be better.

Don’t do it!!!! Baby sit other dogs. I LOVE my dog but they are such a tie.

I haven’t been out of the UK, Always watching the clock when I’m out, they cost a fortune if they become poorly (even with insurance).

all of this!

I thought it all sounded good until you said "active social life" do you mean going out for drinks on an evening etc?

Think about how often you'd have to leave the dog

Dogs are a lot of work and commitment and they have a lot of needs which mean you can't be 100% selfish

I am 34, single parent where my child is away half the week with his other parent. I adopted a senior dog (sort of by accident really - I found him abandoned tied up in the road, chip owner didn’t want to know and dog warden for my area said if owner doesn’t come forward within 28 days he could stay with me, so he did!) and it’s been absolutely brilliant for my loneliness. I did have to consider insurance (which is high because he is in his twilight years, although totally healthy for now), and I was lucky that I only work 5 hours 3 days a week so he’s only on his own for a short time. I did go on holiday this summer and that was a pain in the ass to sort out, looking at dog sitters was over £25 a day! But I was lucky that my friend was happy to have him for a week for the price of a take away and some booze bought back from duty free. It’s worked out for me very well, and I would recommend getting a dog for anyone who is lonely, however as long as you’ve genuinely thought and prepared for the extra expense, the dog sitting when you are away, and if you have a garden or are able to walk the dog properly a including when it is minus 6 outside and dark and freezing! and also the heartache that will come when you have to say goodbye.
im not sure a puppy would be a great idea as they require a lot of training, a lot of patience etc but genuinely believe this little old man dog saved my life as much as I saved his.

Could you look into fostering dogs? Ones that are waiting for a permanent home? I know a lot of the rescues have a strict criteria to meet but it could be good as in you’d get some reprieve from the loneliness without the years long commitment of a dog of your own. Otherwise as others have said, get a cat.