I am 30, single and want a dog - a good or bad idea?

[popcorn234]

I am early 30s. Very single. Work in the office 2-3 times a week (max). Live in London and have a fairly active social life.

And I’ve been seriously considering recently about getting a dog. I know what I want - a cavapoo as my brother has one and I absolutely adore him.

I think having my own dog would give me a new lease of life. I really am quite lonely most of the time being single. I am fully aware that getting a dog won’t fill that void, but I think there would be a lot of benefits

HOWEVER, I also fully appreciate too how hard dogs are. One of my biggest concerns is the commitment when I am currently living by myself. Also, I would have to spend money on doggy day care for a few days a week as my office is not dog friendly, not to mention the monthly cost of insurance, pet food etc.

Basically, I am asking for your advice. Your experience (specifically if you’ve been in my situation and have a dog). Your thoughts/views on getting a dog in my circumstances!

(please be kind too)

Why don't you try a practise run, imagine you've got the dog and then structure life around that for a fortnight. So, no working late (you need to pick up from day care), no going out for more that 3 to 4 hours (cant be left alone), no going out after work, get up before work for a dog walk (albeit without the dog!), set aside the amount the doggy day care would cost you each week, and no trips away or staying out over night. That might give you a feel for how it would impact life.
I love our dog, but every holiday costs hundreds more in pet sitter or kennel costs, we can spontaneously have a day out or weekend away unless it's dog friendly, and walking every day when it's rainy can sometimes be a bit grim! He is 3 and even now we sometimes forget, book tickets for something and then have to cancel or scrabble around for dog care. He's very friendly and loving, and a great addition to our family but they're a massive tie. We had cats first and I'd say as a single person that might be a better fit, you can leave them much longer, they're happy sorting themselves out and they still welcome you home and curl up with you to watch TV of an evening. I often find our remaining cat a better companion as he is small enough to sit on my knee or come to bed with me, whereas I'm not letting a labrador do that!!

No, I wouldn't get one. It is really going to compromise your life and restrict what you can do and where you can go. No more spontaneous trips away or even days out.

I would recommend 'Borrow my Doggy'. Go on there. Find some dogs local to you and arrange times to have them. Maybe just for a walk, or maybe for a day or weekend at a time. That way you can enjoy having a dog when it suits you and not have to deal with the responsibility full time.

Dogs are fab and I wouldn't be without mine - but having one will put a crimp on your social. No late nights out - got to get back for the dog! No impromptu events or trips - no one to look after dog! No mini breaks abroad - the cost of a dog sitter would be as much as the trip.

At 30 and living in London, I think having a dog puts you at risk of more loneliness and isolation, not less. A soppy, affectionate cat might suit you better, and cat rescues are full to bursting atm. A good rescue will be able to match you with the right sort for you.

Having a dog is very much training for having a child. The responsibility is pretty big. Of you are happy to change your lifestyle then maybe but dogs do need that companionship and care. Have you considered volunteering at a dog rehoming centre? That could give you a "doggy-fix" and will also teach you lots about doggy care.

You could also see if you could dog-sit your brother's dog for a few days to see how it works out.

Good luck!

I have a dog. He’s from a rescue society, although pedigree. He is small (10kg) and he has been with us for 7 years, now 8 and a half.

I’m divorced with 2 DC. The dog is devoted to me and I adore him. The children love him too, and he them, but they think I spoil him too much. They’re not wrong.

We don’t do doggy day care (that would be too expensive) but we do have a garden. He hops in and out of our large cat/small dog cat flap whenever he likes. He gets a walk once a day for about half an hour and plenty of fuss and cuddles. He sleeps on my bed. The children very much disapprove of this.

I do work 4 days a week and he’s pretty much on his own 8-4 on those days. It’s not ideal he’s home alone, but he copes and can let himself outside any time he chooses. Of course he has plentiful food and water. It’s infinitely preferable to being kennelled in a rescue! I have employed dog walkers and pet sitters at times, which works fine but last one moved to Devon and we haven’t found anyone since. Dog sleeps a lot (seen on web cam) and barks at the postman. I’d like him to have a companion but we’ve tried with foster dogs and having friends dogs to stay and honestly he indicates he wants to be the only dog in the house and that’s even though he’s happy and sociable with other dogs when we’re out.

Sometimes having a dog is a pain in the arse because you do have to consider their needs and yes vets bills etc. But they bring so much joy and get you out and about in fresh air which is healthy all round esp if wfh, and other dog walkers become friends so it can boost you social life. It’s mostly a joy, except when it’s peeing down and even then you can choose to stay home. My dog hates going out in the rain and is happy to play at home instead.

I’d say go for a mature rescue, or try fostering, in which case if things work out you can choose to adopt the dog. People think they choose their rescue dog, but in reality the rescue dog chooses them! There’s so many dogs looking for homes right now. I would recommend contacting a smaller local rescue, or an online one (plenty on fb according to breed) and offering to foster in the first instance.

I have a cat as I live alone and the guilt when leaving her to go out socially is awful, especially if I have been at work earlier in the day. Pets really reduce your freedom, everything you want to do includes sorting your pet out. Holidays are never the same as you spend a lot of time wondering how your pet us coping without you. Despite the fact that I love my cat dearly, I don't think I would get another pet.

One thing about dog ownership is that it seems to be more all consuming than it once was. It used to be considered OK to leave dogs tied up outside shops or in cars, leave them at home for substantial periods of time and leave them out in the garden all day. These things all seem to have become a bit taboo (higher welfare standards, general safetyism, and a rising rate of dog theft). That means going out and doing things with or without your dog is going to harder than it was a generation ago.

@Kokeshi123 the welfare factor is true but I think another thing that makes it hard is dogs desirability.

The not being able to tie my DDog up outside shops thing is a total nightmare. Because actually my dog would be fine with it and so would I... But dog theft is now SO prevalent you can't leave them unattended for a moment.
So much so that some neighbours reported having them nicked out of back gardens whole they were at home in the house in our area this summer... It's nuts

I inherited dm's ddog when she passed away last year, I absolutely love her but it's hard work.
I wfh two days a week, office three.
She has a dog flap and is contained on the patio when she uses the dog flap, I usually ask my dsis to check on her when I'm in the office.
It's kinda like having a dc, a real responsibility, if I go to work, want to go out etc the first thing I have to take into consideration is the ddog, how long will I be out, will she be alright on her own for X amount of time, food, leaving a light or the TV on.
Christmas at my dd's house, I have to leave ddog at home which means Christmas day is cut short (dd has a ddog, they don't get on)
Holidays are a nightmare, finding a family member who'll have her for a week, she can't go in kennels as she's too old now, she wouldn't cope.
All that said I wouldn't be without her.

I have several family members (including retirees) with dogs they love but regret. They are such a tie, and a couple have behavioural issues (reactive, excessive barking) despite lots of consistent training, which means they can’t really be taken out anywhere – won’t sit quietly under the table at the pub, for example. It’s walks walks and more walks.

I used to desperately want a dog but changed my mind after spending time with those pooches! In your position I’d consider two cats. Cats we’ve had were very dog-like in personality! So they can be just as great company without the need for wet muddy winter walks. And much cheaper as they don’t require daycare – I say get two as they do still get lonely.

We have a cavapoo. I love him very much but he is high energy, intelligent, needy, anxious and a bit neurotic. Despite having a fantastic dog sitter there have been points when she has not been sure she can continue to have him. Someone is around 90% of the time and it just wouldn’t be workable if our lives were different.

No. You can't maintain that "active social life" with a dog. Cats are way more compatible.

The dog could live for 15/16 years. That’s a lot of insurance.
Initial vaccinations plus annual boosters.
Boarding for holidays or take dog with you.
Food has really increased in price.
think a Cavapoo might need clipping, that’s at least £40 a time where I live.
Day care while you’re working.
Be prepared to walk once/twice a day. More if you need to take your dog out for every wee/poo.
You need to plan cover for if you’re ill.
It is a huge commitment.
You could volunteer at a shelter as a dog Walker at weekends, see how you get on.

Definitely DO NOT get a dog.

When it's puppy you won't be able to send it to daycare so you'll need to take time off work to be at home with it for several weeks ideally. Puppies need taking out for a wee during the night and first thing in the morning and can't really be left alone. Say bye bye to any social life during this time.

When they are older they are still incredibly tying. You simply will not be able to go for after work drinks or meet up with friends because you will need to get home to let the dog out and feed it. As a result your social life and chances of meeting someone will reduce drastically.

At the weekend you will need to plan your life around the dog still. No boozy brunches or long days in the pub unless you check ahead that they are dog friendly. You can't have impromptu nights at friends or boyfriends/girlfriends because you will need to be back for the dog.

Also you're in London. Do you have a garden? If not then you're committing even more to being out of the house to toilet the dog and bend to its schedule not your own. It will also limit your ability to move jobs because you will always need something flexible and wfh to fit round the dog.

If what you really want in life over anything else is a dog and you don't care about all the above sacrifices then maybe. If what you prioritise is a partner and friends then don't get a dog.

Plus they are bloody expensive if you're paying for daycare (think £100s a month).

I’m confused? Are people with dogs not leaving their houses?

EDIT: wrong thread!

How long do you think it is fair to leave an animal alone in your house with no ability to go outside to wee? How long can you "hold it" four hours, six, eight.....?

People go out, they just think of their pets, so instead of going to town, cinema and for a meal after, you have to choose based on timing.

My friend - a single lady in her 50s - got a dog.

It's been a nightmare for her as the dog has separation anxiety nb this may have been exacerbated by friend not wanting to leave dog barking in flat for even a couple of minutes. She can never leave the dog alone and as a result can't find a sitter who would operate like that and has had to put big trip to NZ to visit a close friend on hold as a result.

That may be an extreme example but even our easy going dog needs someone to take him out as soon as we get back from work on the one day we're both in the office, so unless you pay for a lot of walking or daycare , you'll never be able to go straight out from work.

My advice- find someone's dog to look after when they are on holiday. We have a friends adult DD looking after rookiedog right now whilst we are away, she's having a great time and we're paying her as well.

I myself have a dog. We don’t leave her for long periods of time but have basic brain cells and common sense to be able to negotiate what’s appropriate. My dogs pretty happy, has a good life and would much prefer to be at my house as a loved member of my family than stuck back at the dogs trust. I still leave my house and think it’s appropriate for my dog to be alone for short chunks of time. I think some people go a bit far about it tbh, and by the logic of ‘I can’t ever leave my dog for more than 5 minutes’ nobody would be able to have one and the world would be full of strays.

No one is saying you can't leave them for more than five minutes and I can assure you we all have plenty of "common sense and brain cells" too 🙄 but the OP Is a single woman living in London with an active social life and a job that requires days in the office. I'm sure even you with all your many brain cells would be able to work out that's not a recipe for success with a dog.

Nope, single people with friends can still have dogs 😁 not trying to suggest you don’t have brain cells lol but I just would have to disagree on this one. I think it’s really unfair to say that someone shouldn’t have a pet just because they have a life and happen to be single. One of my close friends is in this exact situation, and the dog has the BEST life and is so loved. It’s unreasonable to say that this couldn’t work as long as OP is prepared and knows what to expect I suppose.