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Original poster

I am 30, single and want a dog - a good or bad idea?

96 replies

popcorn234 · 18/10/2023 14:06

I am early 30s. Very single. Work in the office 2-3 times a week (max). Live in London and have a fairly active social life.

And I’ve been seriously considering recently about getting a dog. I know what I want - a cavapoo as my brother has one and I absolutely adore him.

I think having my own dog would give me a new lease of life. I really am quite lonely most of the time being single. I am fully aware that getting a dog won’t fill that void, but I think there would be a lot of benefits

HOWEVER, I also fully appreciate too how hard dogs are. One of my biggest concerns is the commitment when I am currently living by myself. Also, I would have to spend money on doggy day care for a few days a week as my office is not dog friendly, not to mention the monthly cost of insurance, pet food etc.

Basically, I am asking for your advice. Your experience (specifically if you’ve been in my situation and have a dog). Your thoughts/views on getting a dog in my circumstances!

(please be kind too)

OP posts:
RogueFemale · 19/10/2023 01:45

Also, to those posters saying get a cat instead, - no they are NOT the easy alternative. You need to provide a really safe outdoor space. And they also cost as much as dogs in terms of food, vaccinations, worm/flea treatment, pet insurance and care if you go away on holiday.

GodDammitCecil · 19/10/2023 01:49

It’s good that you’re asking, OP.

We got a new pup in January, and for the first (approx) six months (so up until she was about 9 months old), either DH or I was at home with her. We both work full time, but have significant flexibility.

At that point, we very gradually started leaving her for short periods of time. And now only leave her for max 5 hours one day a week (and not every week).

We have an older dog (same breed), and are able to leave the back door open for them to come and go.

Our dogs are Labs, so while they shed like crazy, we don’t have the signifiant additional expense of grooming.

Dogs are very dependent, so it would just pay to ensure you’re able to meet its needs.

QueenBitch666 · 19/10/2023 01:50

Nope

Volunteer with Cinnamon Trust. They need people to walk dogs when their owners are ill etc

Or

Borrow my Dog

Dogs are a huge responsibility

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
GodDammitCecil · 19/10/2023 01:55

RogueFemale · 19/10/2023 01:45

Also, to those posters saying get a cat instead, - no they are NOT the easy alternative. You need to provide a really safe outdoor space. And they also cost as much as dogs in terms of food, vaccinations, worm/flea treatment, pet insurance and care if you go away on holiday.

To be fair, I don’t think the costs are really the same, feeding an average or above average sized dog will cost significantly more than a cat. And kennels usually charge more for dogs.

And by ‘really safe outdoor space’, a normal suburban home is perfectly safe for most cats, who will roam the neighbourhood.

In spite of having a very large garden, next door’s cat is often at our place because it’s so easily accessible (for a cat), and wandering around outside both places.

Ihadenough22 · 19/10/2023 02:14

I am single and a bit older than you. I grew up with dog's and always liked dogs. One of my friends said to me one day a few years ago why don't you get a small dog?
I said I am in and out of my home to much. I like being able to go away for a day or a few days at a time without worrying about a dog. I also think that most dogs like human company and it not fair on a dog to leave them for a whole day on their own.

LaurieStrode · 19/10/2023 02:23

I adored my Chihuahuas but solo pet ownership was way more onerous, confining and expensive than I'd bargained for. Day care, pet sitting, etc cost me thousands per year. Medication for geriatric heart patient dogs was more than a hundred a month apiece.

Postpone until you are older would be my advice. Volunteer with a pet welfare group to get some animals into your life.

Missingmyusername · 19/10/2023 02:28

I did. My life was very dog based in any case, I walked a lot and always ended up in dog friendly places. DM looked after DDog during the day (I was full time office at the time) I also employed a dog walker. Met DH through dog walking, had DD a few years later. Thankfully DDog had calmed by then!
Housetraining was the worst part, I took a month off. A dog is a tie, you can’t go to the office all day and then go out all night partying. Depends on your lifestyle. Boarding can be expensive.

RogueFemale · 19/10/2023 02:36

GodDammitCecil · 19/10/2023 01:55

To be fair, I don’t think the costs are really the same, feeding an average or above average sized dog will cost significantly more than a cat. And kennels usually charge more for dogs.

And by ‘really safe outdoor space’, a normal suburban home is perfectly safe for most cats, who will roam the neighbourhood.

In spite of having a very large garden, next door’s cat is often at our place because it’s so easily accessible (for a cat), and wandering around outside both places.

Show quote history

OP says she lives in London, therefore unlikely to have a safe outdoor space for a cat.

Kokeshi123 · 19/10/2023 02:59

RogueFemale · 19/10/2023 01:45

Also, to those posters saying get a cat instead, - no they are NOT the easy alternative. You need to provide a really safe outdoor space. And they also cost as much as dogs in terms of food, vaccinations, worm/flea treatment, pet insurance and care if you go away on holiday.

Nope.

Plenty of people have indoor cats, or have outdoor cats that roam pretty freely - some might consider it essential to have an outdoor netted-in space, but it depends on your philosophy about pets (safety vs freedom).

They can be left for many hours as long as food and water and toileting is available to them in some shape or form, so no particular issues about going out after work and things like that.

Outdoor cats can be left alone while on holiday as long as a teenager or other neighbor can change water, food and the kitty litter etc. for a modest sum. It's also easier to find people to catsit in your home compared with dogsitting, as cats have fewer responsibilities and usually don't smell or require walking.

I'm not saying people should randomly get cats without thinking it through properly, but they are an awful lot easier to care for.

Itsjustmeee · 19/10/2023 05:06

Do you own or rent
if you own then I would consider it
if you rent then probably not - unless your family would have the dog if you had to move and couldn’t take the dog to your new place

DangerousAlchemy · 19/10/2023 07:08

user1477391263 · 19/10/2023 01:10

Some of my friends have dogs. They do get you starting conversations with people on walks…although the greater part of these will be married etc people with families so not a way to potentially meet a partner. If you are single and have a dog, it is a real tie that makes after-work and evening socializing very difficult. I would not do this if I was single and wanted to improve my social life. This is before you get into risks like dogs who develop “issues” like chronic barking, separation anxiety, being reactive around other dogs which means you have to exercise the dog in isolated places and are heavily restricted in what you can do with them. Holiday wise, yes, you can take dogs to holiday lets a lot of the time, but there are often a lot of rules on this, like you can’t leave the dog alone in the accommodation. Dogs create a lot of extra housework and it’s difficult to avoid doggy smells in a flat or modest sized house. You’re also potentially cutting off all possible partners who would not like to live with a dog (which is quite a lot of people - loads of people don’t want a dog in their home).

Why not sign up to the Cinnamon Trust or something similar? This will match you with someone in your area who needs help with their dog getting walked (due to owner’s age/disabilities etc.). You can do walks with the dog on a regular basis. This will help you get some of the social and emotional benefits of doggy time (enjoying the company of the dog, saying hi to other dog owners in your neighborhood), without the commitments and expense of owning a dog.

There’s been a huge increase in dog ownership since COVID and I’m constantly hearing about people rushing to get a dog due to increased WFH and regretting it a year in because of all the above issues.

Great idea!! I've been walking a Westie for 3 years for The Cinammon Trust 👏 lovely dog but even walking Dougal twice a week has made me realise I don't want to be walking my own dog twice a day in all weathers! Dogs are definitely a lot more smelly than cats too. Got to factor in how early you'd be prepared to get up and do a walk in the hot sumner months too.

Melsy88 · 19/10/2023 08:12

Exactly the same situation as you! I got a dog as a single person living in London and working in the office twice a week! It was the best decision I've ever made.
The only difference is that I got my dog as a puppy during lockdown when I was home all the time. I think it would be tricky with a young puppy if you're out a lot. Up until 6 months they are A LOT of work. More than I had expected if I'm honest.
But if you got a slightly older dog I could see it working.
My dog loves doggy daycare when I'm in the office! Socially, I now chat to so many more people when I'm out and about with the dog, I've made new dog owner friends and we'll help each other out with care on evenings/weekends etc.
And it's impossible to ever feel down when you have a bundle of joy around you all the time.
If you can afford it (daycare, food, treats, beds, insurance, vaccinations etc) I say go for it

111111111a · 19/10/2023 08:22

RogueFemale · 19/10/2023 02:36

OP says she lives in London, therefore unlikely to have a safe outdoor space for a cat.

Show quote history

Ahahahaha have you been to London?! You know we don't all live on the north circular?! 😂

WinterVibes · 19/10/2023 08:23

I have a rottweiler. She's like a giant daft puppy!
If I'm out, I have a camera app and everytime I check, she's fast asleep! I work 3 mornings, so she's not home alone for long.
Some dogs can be left quite happily, others will bark and get very distressed with separation anxiety. Maybe research the breeds and see which seem happier to adapt to being alone. I believe schitzus are quite good?
My girl is my absolute world- but it means walks every day come rain, sleet wind or shine. Vets bills are beyond ridiculous as is boarding if you go away on holidays unless you have a friend or family member who can help out.
They are a lot of work, expense and responsibility, but the love you get back makes it all worthwhile in my opinion.

Borris · 19/10/2023 08:25

If I were you and could afford the day care and holiday care then I'd get a dog. You'll be so much less lonely. It gets you out and walking and then you chat to other dog walkers.

WinterVibes · 19/10/2023 08:26

Also, could you consider a rescue? So many need good homes and you'll know a little more about their nature etc, whereas a puppy is A LOT!!! of hard work and it's a lottery if they will be OK left alone. Just a thought. Mine is a rescue and she is the best, most well behaved, loving girl.

gotomomo · 19/10/2023 08:29

Exh has the family dog most the time and finds it hard, he has to rush home from work every day (dog is ok being left, old) and when he goes out make sure the dog can come too - all his friends humour him thankfully. Far easier when I have him but we live far apart and exh misses the dog so much

viccat · 19/10/2023 08:32

Definitely think more about what the next 10-15 years are likely to look like for you, both in your personal life as well as how your work schedule might change. Having a dog could limit your choice of partner, or make accepting a job that requires travel a lot harder. Equally you might consider those things and still decide getting a dog is more important to you.

tinselvestsparklepants · 19/10/2023 08:36

I have a dog, live in the countryside and there are two of us. It's still sometimes difficult! I'd agree with other posters - haven't read the full thread though so also wanted to recommend volunteering for Cinanmon Trust or a local shelter as well as Borrow my Doggy as a way to still have dogs in your life in a way that's great for both of you.

Jifmicroliquid · 19/10/2023 08:39

When it’s just you and a dog, you become that animals whole universe. You will find yourself very tied down. When you go out, the dog is alone and waiting for your return. You’ll find yourself feeling guilty for leaving, or cutting short evenings out.
Dogs living with families or more than one person get a bit more used to people coming and going and they will attach themselves to different members of the family if someone goes out.
I have a friend who lives alone and got a dog and her life has essentially been put on hold. She can’t go out or he screams the place down and she feels guilt almost constantly. He is so attached to her that it’s really quite sad to see how distressed he gets. She’s a prisoner in her house really and she does regret getting him.

TheGooseDrankWine · 19/10/2023 08:41

Research the cost of day care.

on these cold windy wet mornings imagine yourself having to get up and walk the dog, however tired you are.

Ditto in the evenings, in the dark.

When WFH can you take the dog for a good long active run about every lunch hour?

Your active social life; if you go out 7pm til 2am you will probably need a dog sitter

What about holidays?

My friend is in exactly your situation, and her lovely dog has changed her life completely. She has less of a social life, fewer spontaneous drinks, cinema trips have to be planned, days out ditto. She used to go on long bike rides, now she walks round a limited number of (lovely) local parks or takes the dog further afield for rambles at the weekend. Often on her own if no friends want to go.

Sgtmajormummy · 19/10/2023 08:51

There are 3 of us (1 retired) so we can work around the dog’s needs. He’s mostly a good thing in our lives.
Just yourself and paid help is soon going to feel like a huge impact on your freedom.

I’d just focus on developing your hobbies for now (30 is still young) and maybe offer to keep your brother’s dog in your home for a few days.
Then you can give the dog back if you don’t enjoy it!

Desmodici · 19/10/2023 10:11

I've been single for the majority of time I've had dogs. It is a commitment. Trips away need to be planned, and even if you get a dog-sitter, they can cancel at the last minute due to illness (happened to me, this year). You can't even have a day out without arranging a dog-sitter.

On the whole, the benefits have outweighed the negatives, for me, but I'm only out of the house for work for three hours a day, and do spend a lot of time at home due to illness.

However, now insurance premiums are becoming so costly, and I'm in a relationship now and would appreciate a bit more freedom to take trips, I'll not be getting another dog after my current one.

user1471556818 · 19/10/2023 10:33

I'm a person who loves pets and has had a huge amount of pets over the yrs .Yes dogs are great and will get you out and about walking them .However they are a massive tie everyone says doggy day care ,sadly not every dog copes with this nor being left alone.
I personally in your position would get a pair of older cats. Company and affection for you and for each other .
They can be such characters.

Lots of pop in cat sitters about now

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 19/10/2023 10:41

Kittens. 2 of.

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