Offering workmen teas/coffees (aibu)

[Bu22]

I just don’t know if I am being completely unreasonable here.

We have builders in at the moment (not in our flat but in the flat opposite which is owned by us).

Seeing as it belongs to us, I immediately started offering them teas/coffees the day the works commenced.

It’s not a problem when there is just 1, 2 or 3 workmen in at a time. But.. sometimes there’s 5-6 of them and because i’ve started it, they now just knock (twice a day usually) and ask for their teas & coffees.

Like I say, if there’s just a couple or a few of them I don’t mind at all. When i’m standing around making 5+ cups of different teas and coffees though, whilst looking after two young children, it gets a bit annoying. I’m also sick of seeing all the mugs left outside my door at the end of the day needing to be washed - although I suppose it’s good that they always give them back instead of leaving them laying about.

Part of me feels it is reasonable, part of me thinks it isn’t.

Although I can’t exactly turn around and say no even if I wanted to so I suppose I will just have to deal with it!

Bare in mind they’ve been in for nearly 3 months…. I’m done with the sight of the kettle atm! I even contemplated getting a cheap kettle for them but then that would probably look rude and where would they keep the milk…

MN consensus on this before has been leave them a kettle and all the tea/coffee materials and let them make them themselves as and when they want.

When we had builders in DH told me not to offer drinks or they would never stop. He's right!

Just stop doing it, say you're busy a couple of time/go out/don't answer - they'll get the message. It's up to them to provide their own drinks. You could also tell them that they are welcome to bring their own kettle etc.

Oof, feck that for a game of soldiers. I've had builders in my house for 5 months now, and have made about 2 cups of tea in that time. I told them they were welcome to use the kettle/ tea bags/ coffee but in fact they don't even do that, they always have drinks in their flasks.
Plonk a kettle in there and be done with it

We set up a station with kettle with tea, coffee, sugar, biscuits and put milk in an ice bucket every morning. Let them help themselves. Wash mugs and teaspoons every night. Sugar cubes were suggested as less likely to be spilled.

My policy on this has been to offer if they are only there for a day or so but long building jobs don't get into it with them. They bring their own flasks and it just gets awkward even leaving stuff out is a pain and costs a bomb. We had one roofer ask for decaffeinated so I bought a jar then he walked off the job the next day

I'd simply say "sorry, there are so many of you now that I can't carry on keeping you all in hot drinks while looking after my kids. Could you bring your own from tomorrow?"

Ah.. sounds like I have been going a little above and beyond here. The only problem is that I have never made it known that I am getting fed up of it and I feel bad by just stopping/ignoring the door! I just couldn’t do that. Maybe I should just get them a kettle and they can store their milk in a flask or something. @DreamItDoIt your husband is right!

I'd set out all the appropriate materials, with a nice box of biscuits to smooth out any potential ruffled feathers, and leave them to it.

@motherofbees oh that is awful!

And yep, these days, whenever I offer a trades person a hot drink, they almost always say thanks, but they have a flask with them.

@RaisinsOfMildAnnoyance yes to the biscuits, might smooth things over!

I don't generally make them drinks, my DH thinks I am mean as he is workman himself 😂but generally I am working from home, I'm busy, in meetings etc I'm not here to be a skivvy.

I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. We've had builders for months and I'm fucking sick of making them drinks. I work from home and if I ever put the kettle on for myself and not them, there are raised eyebrows. Mainly from my husband.

I get that they like tea and need to rehydrate. But it's boring as hell.

I go by the rule that the nicer you are to builders the better things go.

They are probably already bringing flasks, but will never say no to a cuppa.

Do whatever you need to do to make your life easier.

Kettle, coffe/tea, sugar and milk left out for them. I used to make a large flask of tea and or coffee, sugar (cubes is a good idea) and milk, and leave them to it.

I felt washing up is ok but I have a dishwasher.

I can understand hourly but twice a day is fair enough I think. I wouldn’t like to have to work all day with no hot drinks. But a cheap kettle and stuff left out for them solves the problem. And the cost of it vs cost of the building job and benefit of a good relationship makes it a no brainier.

Kettle, jar of coffee, teabags, spoons, biscuits and a flask of milk or coffee mate or similar.

I've never had builders ask? How bloody cheeky!

I always leave a little tray with tea/coffee/sugar/milk/enough disposable cups and a travel kettle I have out and tell them to help themselves, sometimes leave a plate or biccies as well.

Twice a day is not too much even if it is 5 cups

Workmen are used to making their own arrangements. They'd have to if you weren't at home, wouldn't they? Most of the time, they drink their own AND whatever you provide, so they're constantly wanting the loo etc.

Different type of work, but when I used to go out auditing, I could be in a firm's office for a week or two, and always took my own food and drink, as you just never know what you're going to be offered, if anything. The difference between firms was incredible. For some, we'd be invited into the management dining room at lunchtime to have a three course lunch with them, at the other end, sometimes they'd not even tell us where the kettle was to make our own. Most were in the middle and we'd get offered a tea/coffee once or twice a day if they remembered we were there! Funny thing is, we didn't regard them any better/worse - in fact, it barely registered on our radar who was generous and who wasn't. You also get to know where you can go out to buy stuff, tradesmen always seem to know where are the best nearby bacon bun shops are!

For a long job with lots of workers, don't start, you'll regret it when they start to take you for a mug and give ever-increasing demands on you!

OP- I can completely sympathise, having just finished a 2 YEAR renovation! We were living in a static caravan in the garden and initially offering tea/coffee. Some days there were 6 workmen, wanting 3 cups each a day! It was getting ridiculous because I was working from home in the van and only had a tiny sink to wash 18 cups a day in!

I too set up a station with a cheap kettle, cubed sugar, mugs and a cooler box. (we had no fridge in the house at that point). I directed them to the outside tap to wash their own mugs in too. Some days, I'd leave biscuits or pieces of cake. I'd find them often not eaten, covered in flies or ants or left on the ground where the dog could eat them! Another time- the whole packet of biscuits was taken- unopened! I soon stopped offering treats.

1 team who were here for weeks, actually bought their own kettle, tea/coffee, mugs etc!

Tbh tradespeople at this time of year usually start using a flask for brews but you've set a trend now so they probably won't bother 🤷‍♀️

I ended up buying a very cheap kettle and about 8 b&m mugs. Gave them a tray each morning with tea, sugar, milk and spoons and left them with it for the day! There were about 8 of them at mine Inc electricians etc!

Also - a few months ago, I took out about 10 cups of tea out to roadworkers who were working outside my house all day until it went dark. When I went to collect the mugs an hour later NOT ONE had drank the tea!!!! Ungrateful gits!!