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Original poster

Offering workmen teas/coffees (aibu)

130 replies

Bu22 · 13/10/2023 10:44

I just don’t know if I am being completely unreasonable here.

We have builders in at the moment (not in our flat but in the flat opposite which is owned by us).

Seeing as it belongs to us, I immediately started offering them teas/coffees the day the works commenced.

It’s not a problem when there is just 1, 2 or 3 workmen in at a time. But.. sometimes there’s 5-6 of them and because i’ve started it, they now just knock (twice a day usually) and ask for their teas & coffees.

Like I say, if there’s just a couple or a few of them I don’t mind at all. When i’m standing around making 5+ cups of different teas and coffees though, whilst looking after two young children, it gets a bit annoying. I’m also sick of seeing all the mugs left outside my door at the end of the day needing to be washed - although I suppose it’s good that they always give them back instead of leaving them laying about.

Part of me feels it is reasonable, part of me thinks it isn’t.

Although I can’t exactly turn around and say no even if I wanted to so I suppose I will just have to deal with it!

Bare in mind they’ve been in for nearly 3 months…. I’m done with the sight of the kettle atm! I even contemplated getting a cheap kettle for them but then that would probably look rude and where would they keep the milk…

OP posts:
qwerty123454 · 15/10/2023 16:08

No good deed goes unpunished

Ourlittletalks · 15/10/2023 18:19

Yanbu. I wouldn’t want to make 5-6 coffees twice a day either. Pick up a cheap kettle, 6 mugs, and a box of teabags and jar of coffee. Leave a litre of milk in a fridge for them and a bag of sugar also with a few teaspoons. Let them make their own teas and coffees.

Ffion21 · 15/10/2023 18:33

The comments saying no. C’mon - it’s their workplace! Imagine if you couldn’t have a cuppa at work.

I have had workmen in for three years. Prior to this house 4 years in my last (major rennovation and building works).

I offer the first as I always make myself one after school drop off and then say “help yourself if you’d like more, but if coming in to the kitchen take your shoes off and please bring mugs back end of the day.”

Never an issue. Always welcomed and always respected. I bought cheap mugs as a couple got chipped.

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 15/10/2023 18:39

Fionaville · 14/10/2023 20:22

I was about to say YABU. My mum's had builders in for two weeks and has been making them bacon butties 😅 But it was only two weeks. Yours is a lot longer so YANBU

Your mum might be my MIL, she provides bacon butties and sausage sarnies to anyone working at the house! And their kettle is on pretty much constantly anyway.

We always offer hot drinks, it’s nice to be polite to people working in your home. Although for a long-term project I’d definitely provide everything they need to make their own.

Eskimal · 15/10/2023 21:13

As the wife of a labourer, I think you should put yourself in their shoes. I would gladly make tea and coffee more than 2x day despite kids and a stressful WFH job. How long does it take? 6-7 minutes twice a day?
if you don’t like it then buy them a kettle and leave a single pint of milk for the day each day. I also hope you’re offering biscuits. 55p for a packet of bourbons in Sainsbury’s. There’s no excuse.
if you work in a office I have a feeling it’s the law that your employer provide tea and coffee making facilities. Have a bit of empathy and think about how you’d feel going all day without a hot drink or having to buy Costa on workman’s wages.
i’m a bit shocked at your moaning. Or you’re not very domesticated and struggle to make 5 x basic tea or coffee?

StarlightLime · 15/10/2023 21:16

Eskimal · 15/10/2023 21:13

As the wife of a labourer, I think you should put yourself in their shoes. I would gladly make tea and coffee more than 2x day despite kids and a stressful WFH job. How long does it take? 6-7 minutes twice a day?
if you don’t like it then buy them a kettle and leave a single pint of milk for the day each day. I also hope you’re offering biscuits. 55p for a packet of bourbons in Sainsbury’s. There’s no excuse.
if you work in a office I have a feeling it’s the law that your employer provide tea and coffee making facilities. Have a bit of empathy and think about how you’d feel going all day without a hot drink or having to buy Costa on workman’s wages.
i’m a bit shocked at your moaning. Or you’re not very domesticated and struggle to make 5 x basic tea or coffee?

Why can't he bring a thermos? It's not the law that your workplace must provide you with hot drinks, no. Who told you that?

ZolaBudd · 15/10/2023 21:17

ROARING at its the law

Humbugg · 15/10/2023 22:16

Hahah it’s not the law that your employer gives you access to a cup of tea hahaha

Freshstart78 · 15/10/2023 22:19

Cheap builder kettle is an essential. It’s a tenner. Chuck a 2 pint milk in there every morning. Done.

Passthecake30 · 15/10/2023 22:42

Dp is a builder. All I know is -

  1. you can’t just make a tea when you’re wanting and expect them to stop and drink it as they might be in the middle of something they can’t stop
  2. if owners supply tea, it stops them driving to Greg’s etc, ie more work gets done.
Saying that, dp has his own mug and kettle so I think in your set up he’d just make his own if he was told that he was welcome to.
sunsetsurfer · 15/10/2023 22:45

You always give workmen a hot drink!!! It's common courtesy! 5 drinks isn't exactly hard! You own 2 flats, you can afford it!! I rent a shitty council house and am broke most the time but if I ever have a workman / decorator etc (that I pay for or come from council) they get hot drinks and fed.

genesis92 · 15/10/2023 23:10

It's twice a day. It really doesn't take up that much time

Starseeking · 16/10/2023 00:26

Put some teabags, sugar, mugs and milk in the flat, then they can make their own without having to bother you.

MyMiniMetro · 16/10/2023 08:09

If you were working from home and had a boss to keep happy I'd see the problem. If you are home all the time with children then I can't see the issue with making teas a couple of times a day? Of course if you feel it's stopping you going out, tell them, say you can't do teas today you'll be out. They will cope.

coodawoodashooda · 16/10/2023 09:47

motherofbees · 13/10/2023 10:51

My policy on this has been to offer if they are only there for a day or so but long building jobs don't get into it with them. They bring their own flasks and it just gets awkward even leaving stuff out is a pain and costs a bomb. We had one roofer ask for decaffeinated so I bought a jar then he walked off the job the next day Confused

Anything more than a fortnight then forget about it.

BlossomOfOrange · 16/10/2023 10:17

Definite no. Bring their own flask? Works for me

Saz91x · 16/10/2023 14:24

My dads a builder and he never expected anybody to make him a coffee. He took a flask with him in the morning and would make his own through the day. He also took sausage and bacon in a flask and would get his own sandwich ready for lunch time.
There is no reason why they can’t bring their own. They are just being cheeky.

user1497207191 · 16/10/2023 15:10

Saz91x · 16/10/2023 14:24

My dads a builder and he never expected anybody to make him a coffee. He took a flask with him in the morning and would make his own through the day. He also took sausage and bacon in a flask and would get his own sandwich ready for lunch time.
There is no reason why they can’t bring their own. They are just being cheeky.

Exactly. Give an inch and they take a mile. They'll bring their own snacks/drinks at first, and soon stop when they know they've a mug providing it all for them. After all, they won't know you're there to make it for them at first, will they, so they'll make their own arrangements, just like they'd do if you were at work all day, or the house was empty, or it was a building site, etc.

I'm more than happy to provide the occasional/random drink or snack, but I always make sure it doesn't become a habit and simply wouldn't put up with them knocking on the door "demanding" their brew - that's massively entitled behaviour!

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 16/10/2023 15:16

if someone if just here for the day, I will make them tea and coffee.

if they’re here for longer eg decorating or flooring or whatever, I leave coffee, tea, sugar, a pint/two pints of milk and some cheap biscuits on a tray with a spare kettle and they can make their own. Easier for me and for them. It’s always gone down well.

Princesspollyyy · 16/10/2023 15:36

At the end of the day, you're paying someone to do a job, not drink tea and coffee, eat biscuits etc.

MarkWithaC · 16/10/2023 15:50

Aghast1066 · 14/10/2023 22:12

Is that really so much of a chore? A few cuppas twice a day. Christ alive, it's not a 3 course meal they're after. Just workmen in your (2nd) flat.

Chip on your shoulder about the second flat, eh?

I generally offer tea but I think they're rude to ask for it.
I agree you should buy a cheap kettle, leave mugs, spoons and sugar packets/cubes out, tell them you can get UHT milk or they can bring a flask of it. Buy a pack of biscuit/cakes sometimes. That's plenty; as others have said, tradies are fully capable for finding a cafe or ordering an UberEats if they need to.

Meeko86 · 16/10/2023 17:27

We are renovating so had to cut down our kitchen to 4 mugs one each for me and DH and a couple spare so no chance of tea if we have more than a couple of workman. Plus they normally arrive as I’m about to do the school run so at that stressful part of the day even if I had more mugs that would be the least of my priorities 😂
I would just put a kettle and supplies in there tbh they will prob prefer it as can make as and when they please. X

mondaytosunday · 17/10/2023 00:37

I'd just give them a kettle a few spare cups and milk/sugar. Tell them you are going to be out and about so they will have to just sort themselves. Then be out that day - after that it doesn't matter as long as you give them a fresh pint of milk every day and the odd pack of biscuits.
Next time start that from the get go.

NewName122 · 17/10/2023 00:49

When I had my roof done I got home from work to about 5 men stood outside my house and one shouted over 'put the kettle on darling'. I went in and put the kettle on and made myself one. They wouldn't have said that to a man so I thought it sounded quite rude.

KingsleyBorder · 17/10/2023 01:05

Surprised nobody has mentioned energy drinks, that’s what our builders seem to prefer to tea and coffee, which I offer but they turn down. Current lot are Albanian, ones before Romanian, maybe that makes a difference?