Would you tell the school your child isn’t doing detention in this situation?

[beeonmybonnett]

my DD is in Y13 and has got an after school detention due to being late to one of her subject classes two times in the same week. She was only a few minutes late on both occasions - no more than 5 minutes.

In normal circumstances, I would agree with the detention as she should not be being late, I know it happens occasionally as we can get held up at times, but there are no excuses for her being late twice in such a short period of time.

However, the reason I am annoyed at her getting this detention is because the teacher of the subject class she was late to, and is getting the detention as a result of it, is late to class quite often.

For example, DD tells me that the teacher is usually 5-10 minutes late every Monday afternoon when they have that class after lunch. So clearly the teacher has problems getting from the staff room to the classroom in time for the start of the lesson?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my dd to be spoken to and warned about being late, but I find it absolutely pathetic that this teacher has recommend her head of year give her a detention when the teacher in question is guilty of the same thing - is it not a bit hypocritical?

Not sure why they think this teacher’s lunch break is more important than her a level class but if the student is late then it’s the end of the world.

I’m not sure on how to proceed with this one, but I genuinely feel like ringing the school and telling them to withdraw the detention unless they’re going to discipline the teacher for being late!

The thing I’m finding most unbelievable is that she’s in Year 13 and you’re even considering calling the school about her detentions! Surely she’s capable of speaking to someone about the teacher’s lateness? If she’s planning on going to university, would you be complaining on her behalf then?

😂😂

She's in year 13. You shouldn't be getting involved with this at all.

Your daughter wasn't late to class because of the teacher's lateness so why are you trying to connect the two issues? Were you concerned about the teacher's timekeeping and the effect on your daughter's education before your daughter got a detention? And if so, why didn't you raise it with the school?

If an Alevel student can't find self-directed study to do while waiting for their teacher to arrive they have quite a lot to worry about.

There have been a few threads lately by parents who think they can make schools accede to their demands. They are mistaken.

I’d also be wary of making a complaint for the reason that it will lose you any good will with that teacher going forward. All parents expect additional revision classes to be put on near exams and most teachers oblige (all unpaid). If you’d complained about my (most likely, very legitimate) lateness to my line manager on the say so of your daughter, you might find I had other plans after school in the summer term.

Jeez, I thought I was being fair with that approach! I can’t win!

If (a big if) you are for real then I would suggest that you thinking you are being fair is probably a symptom of (at best) some pretty big blind spots about yourself.

It's an incredibly rare thing for everyone on MN to agree that someone is being an arsehole. You've had hundreds of people's honest opinion (they haven't even heard the other side). That's actually a really valuble thing. You could use it to reflect on why you are adamant you are owed accountability from a stranger and why your instinct was to make excuses for your daughter.

This could help you be a better parent and a better person.

FGS, if she is in Y13 she is is nearly adult, time for her to step up and start acting like one by getting herself to class on time. My daughter is in Y13 and I would be telling her to suck it up sort her own time keeping out before she starts calling other people out. I am embarrassed for you. Are you going to carry on like this when she steps in to the world of work?

Parents like you are the reason teachers are leaving the profession.

Easily replaced with unqualified cover supervisors, perhaps they will be on time.

@Marmaladesarnie could not agree more!!!!

If my boss pulled me up for being late to work twice in one week, I would definitely not turn around and say "well you were late once last week".

Honestly, the number of times during a day that I need to be in two places at once, during the school day, is many. And that’s before I account for unplanned incidents. As a teacher, you can’t walk past things you witness because you need to be somewhere, you have to deal with them.

Do you not realise that time spent in a classroom is merely the tip of the iceberg? Have you overlooked the preparation, additional time given to individual students when required, marking with feedback, parents’ evening discussion and reporting which further contribute to learning? Are you not aware of the many, many hours these take up?
I’d love to know what you do for a living, OP. You’re clearly not a teacher and have no concept of what a teacher’s job entails.

This is pointless.

OP just wanted everyone to agree that the school is unreasonable. When that wasn’t the case, there’s lots of arguing that it is unreasonable. Why bother. She thinks she’s right.

I love the fact you actually believe the bell goes and they all go sit in the staff room - stop for an hour chat whilst eating there lunch - nice relax before afternoon lessons ..

I have a child with additional needs - I can tell you I have received many phone calls - they did check in and chats with my Ds … sat in classrooms to observe behaviour..

🙄🙄

Teachers and pupils should have mutual respect, but teachers are adult professionals, not pupils!

The teacher is responsible to their employer, not the pupils and especially not parents.

If you feel that the teacher is doing something wrong, you should firstly e mail them directly and see what they say. If you are not satisfied, you should go through the complaint procedure.

However, your daughter should serve her detention, the two are not related.

When my youngest son was 14 he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.It took a while to get it under control. He was going to the office to get his emergency sweets when he collapsed in the corridor. A teacher put him in the recovery position , shouted for help and sat with him until the school nurse arrived to take over with the hypo stop gel and sweets. I dare say she was massively late for wherever she was going. Should she have shoved him to the side and carried on to a lesson with young people who are going to uni/ world of work in a few months and should be perfectly capable of organising themselves/ chatting about tik tok.

I'm with you here OP.

Sauce for the goose, etc.

Oh yes because the children must always be treated the same as the adults 🥴🥴

You tried that tactic with your boss?

Nobody I know who works in a secondary school or college is lazy or could get away with being late just because they can’t be arsed. They are rushed off their feet. Your daughter, the supposed prefect with her copies of the lunchtime duty rotas (sounds like total bullshit by the way - why the hell would this need to be shared with students) needs to get a grip. You will find if you report it that you will be told either that there is a good reason for it (and that you should butt out) or it will transpire that the teacher is not late anywhere near as often as reported.
And as someone else said, would I fuck do anything but the minimum to assist someone who got their mum to do this to undermine a legitimate punishment that I gave out.

When your and Ops offspring go to university you will not be involved in any of it. You will not be able to contact the university to discuss your child, because they are 18 and an adult. You will not be able to talk to their tutors or dispute any grades you feel are unfair.You will not have any idea whether your young person is anywhere near a lecture hall or tutor room or underneath another student in a smelly bedroom somewhere .You will not know whether they are making best use of the experience or peeing it up a wall. The sixth form years are good practice for this. It will come as less of a shock if you let her deal with it maturely and politely, herself. You will be able to have 2 tickets for graduation. Otherwise the 3 years of uni will be absolutely none of your business. Start giving it a go now. It'll be so much easier in the long run, for everyone.

She's in year 13_and they are giving detention, Wtf??
My son is in college equivalent to year 12_they treat them as adults .

@x2boys,

If they treated them as adults, they would just not let them in if they were late and they would be responsible for getting the work and catching up.

But then you would get parents outraged that you could treat their little darlings so harshly as they are only young.

Lateness is a real problem and damages everyone’s learning.

Your child attends the sixth form, so she follows their rules or suffers the consequences set out. You can't step in for a 17 or 18 year old and say they're not doing a detention. Tell her she needs to be on time and support the sanction every time.

I highly doubt the teacher is late weekly, and in any case, they are working. If a meeting overruns or a duty point can't be left, you'd think a bunch of a level students could occupy themselves, reading independently, discussing the issues from class or checking each others' responses to work set for homework without being watched. They're almost adults.

*allegedly

I teach older teens. Even the ones who apparently "never lie". 99/100 do. And those who don't exaggerate and embellish.

You're going to end up with egg on your face, and a new perspective of your dd.

It is only five weeks into the school term, has it been the same every week?