Would you tell the school your child isn’t doing detention in this situation?

[beeonmybonnett]

my DD is in Y13 and has got an after school detention due to being late to one of her subject classes two times in the same week. She was only a few minutes late on both occasions - no more than 5 minutes.

In normal circumstances, I would agree with the detention as she should not be being late, I know it happens occasionally as we can get held up at times, but there are no excuses for her being late twice in such a short period of time.

However, the reason I am annoyed at her getting this detention is because the teacher of the subject class she was late to, and is getting the detention as a result of it, is late to class quite often.

For example, DD tells me that the teacher is usually 5-10 minutes late every Monday afternoon when they have that class after lunch. So clearly the teacher has problems getting from the staff room to the classroom in time for the start of the lesson?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my dd to be spoken to and warned about being late, but I find it absolutely pathetic that this teacher has recommend her head of year give her a detention when the teacher in question is guilty of the same thing - is it not a bit hypocritical?

Not sure why they think this teacher’s lunch break is more important than her a level class but if the student is late then it’s the end of the world.

I’m not sure on how to proceed with this one, but I genuinely feel like ringing the school and telling them to withdraw the detention unless they’re going to discipline the teacher for being late!

It really isn't a wonder that teachers are leaving in droves if they are subjected to such utter nonsense.

I didn't say better - different. I've worked in industry too! Please don't assume that I don't know. I do!

Apologies if it came across as patronising but I feel so strongly about this.

I've told them till I'm blue in the face - as have many others.

In fact I went on strike repeatedly and lost £2000 pay recently, to drive for better standards for education. I'm militant about this. The kids deserve a far better deal, as do we as teachers. What more can I do? Literally nothing.

Incidentally - there is a massive drive to recruit teachers. I didn't say we don't need 6th form teachers at all! I said that 6th formers can absolutely start a lesson without a teacher there.

I also train teachers. We are doing our absolute best to recruit. The DfE's own target of trainee recruitment is down 52% this year. That's massive!

I've just never heard of anything like it. Although, as you say, this has clearly been formed because all my experience of college/ sixth forms have been in standalone schools not tethered to secondary schools.

Op I have no idea why you posted because you will not accept any opinion that is not supporting your entitled nature!! Why is your daughter late? And she’s clearly not too concerned about missing out on those ten minutes of the very important lesson when she is late twice in one week! Get a grip let your daughter sort her own issues. She is an adult or almost and what are you going to do when she doesn’t agree with her boss?? Phone and complain to the company! People are unbelievable!!!

@Startyabastard "You don't know why the teacher was late!" Very true, but neither do you. There are a lot of probablies creeping in here. And it wasn't being late as a one-off.

I've wobled my head as you have rudely suggested but there is still nothing in this thread that gives facts as to why the teacher was late.

Seemingly, assumptions are OK to be taken into account when it's a teacher but not when it'a a student.

Haven’t read all the replies but it seems you’ve asked opinions but don’t like the answers. Why bother asking if you just want others to agree with you 🤷‍♀️

It's not a big deal OP & your DD will have to suck it up I'm afraid. We've all been there with our own kids. My DS (yr 11) often gets red cards & detentions when he didn't really do v much wrong. Some of his teachers just don't like him. It's annoying but there's a life lesson for him there too. Life isn't always fair & Mum can't fix every issue by emailing & ringing school. He got sent out of a classroom last week by a sub teacher when another kid threw a pen my DS had dropped across the room. the sub teacher thought my DS had thrown it & sent him out. It would have been after sch detention for 30 mins the following day but the teacher didn't put it on the system as she either forgot or she didn't know how to do it. My DS was also 3 mins late to a lesson & so he got a 10 min break detention the following day. Sometimes the school rules suck but that's life. I think by yr 13 the teachers shouldn't be giving out sanctions for every little thing personally but there you go.

You're the one that made the assumption that the teacher was lazy.
There could be a valid explanation each week, teachers are finding it very hard now.
It is a fact that teachers have more responsibilities than a school child.

Exactly my point.

Have you ever heard the saying “don’t do as I do, do as I say”? Just because the teacher is frequently late doesn’t mean it’s ok for the pupil to do the same.

If your DD emailed the teacher/s she was going to be late, she shouldn't be in trouble. Also, I would take what your DD says, with a pinch of sault.

@Startyabastard - Not so! Nowhere did l say “the teacher was lazy”.

@Orangetreexherry - As contributors in a thread, it is not for us to question the honesty of a third party.

You and your daughter both sound very entitled and you are not listening to anyone who says your daughter should attend the detention. Also have you verified the teacher has been late the way your daughter describes??? Teenagers (and adults) have a habit of exaggerating things especially when caught out doing something wrong (like being late).

Life isn’t fair and maybe this can be a small way your daughter learns it???? Im surprised she doesn’t know this already if a year 13…..
Also I don’t know if you miss the memo but Teachers are over workers and often work through their lunch breaks….. not dossing about with their friends. If your daughter is doing some amazing volunteer work in the library?!? Or peer to peer support id maybe say you had a leg to stay on but otherwise I’d say you and your daughter need to suck it up buttercup.

Your daughter is old enough to fight her own battles and take responsibilty for being places on time, if she has a problem she needs to speak to her yr head or tutor if you still are unhappy then speak to the teacher at parents night calmly

Yet another reason why I'm glad I left teaching: parents like this.

Let me break it down:

1. Even if the teacher doesn't have a break duty, there could be a ton of other reasons why she is regularly late to one lesson. For example, I used to have to drive between schools twice weekly on my lunchbreak, to give lessons in a feeder primary school. I would then have to register and check in with my own tutor group, and deal with any issues that had come up with them. Since they were a sixth form tutor group, at this time of year some of their issues were reasonably pressing to do with university applications and couldn't wait until the next morning. Another day a week we had a departmental meeting during lunch. At least one more lunchtime I would be supervising detentions. If I were lucky, I would get one day a week to sit down and eat my lunch, but a chunk of that would usually be taken up with queuing to collect photocopies and resources, not to mention all the little pupil incidents that happen every day. This is just not in the same league as a teenager rocking up late.
2. Of all the classes who could be left for 10 minutes to read ahead/catch up on work/revise, an A Level class is the least worst one to be left alone. Yes, lateness is never wonderful, but at least it's not a group of Year 9s that have been left to attack each other and destroy the classroom. A Levels actually require independent study, far more than 10 minutes from 150 in the week.
3. With all the caveats above, yes it's possible that this particular teacher is just badly organised or plain lazy. People like that exist in every walk of life. This is really not something to get het up about or for you to intervene in. If it were an actual problem, there will be people within the school your nearly-adult daughter could talk to to address it. It doesn't need an email from you.

Detention in sixth form? That's bizarre! Colleges don't do detention.

Right, so when they say DH claims he hasn't slept with OW, we should believe it?
As to make a contribution, we should look at the situation objectively, not go with whatever the third party claims, otherwise OP could as well talking to herself

Haven’t read the whole thread but why is a parent getting involved with issues relating to a year 13 - they’re old enough to sort it out themselves.

I wouldn’t personally be saying anything about the detention, I would expect my child to go to it and learn to be on time in future.
If the teacher is genuinely 10 minutes late on a regular basis I would want to address this with school though, as a separate problem. 10 minutes every week over the two years adds up to a lot of missed teaching time, which genuinely isn’t great at A level.

@Orangetreexherry - I was discussing a poster’s daughter claiming a teacher was regularly late. That hardly equates with who slept with who!

It doesn't matter whether detentions happen in sixth forms across the country - it is wrong.

Pupils in sixth form are no longer children, they are no longer in compulsory education and should be treated as adults. Would you put an adult in detention if they were late for an evening class? Completely ridiculous.

I've never heard of it before.

That said I do remember being shouted at at law school because some people were late back to class after break on the first day. I was on time. I didn't appreciate being told off with those who were late - and we were all graduates and therefore adults. Nowadays I would have said something but I just grumbled to other students at the time.

Teacher probably has assembly on the Monday. Don’t forget, they teach all ages so it’s highly likely she has another commitment.

What’s your daughter’s reason for being late?

Why do MNers always trot this out. Parents are still called to parents; evenings at sixth form level. Therefore they are still involved.

I do get fed up with people making such a virtue of their kids standing on their own two feet. They've got the rest of their lives to be responsible adults. I remember a thread on here where people were being nasty to a mum who wanted to buy her dd a new rucksack for college!

Apparently, once a child reaches 18 (or 16 in this case) their parents have no further relevance.

No, you generalised, which includes everything.
No Y13 student should be in trouble if they followed the process of informing the teacher they are going to be late

beeonmybonnet how do you know the teacher is in the staff room and can't be bothered to be on time?
My school doesn't even have a staff room. I'm sometimes late because I'm a head of year and get waylayed, sometimes for something important.
I haven't rtwt so sorry if someone has already said this