Son ran out of money

[Whattodonowadays]

My son is 18 and lives away from home in accommodation provided by work. He’s terrible with budgeting, I’ve tried and tried with him. He has spent all his money with ages to go until payday. I am actually sick of bailing him out all the time but can’t see him starve obviously. Any ideas for cheap meals so I can drop off some shopping. Like ration type! He needs to lean to manage his money! Thanks.

Porridge, he can make it with water if he can't afford milk.
Rice, he can boil it and eat it plain.
Bottle of 30 day multivitamins.

If he ever comes back to you about running out of money again, it'll be to ask for help with budgeting! He's taking the piss because he can. He's got no rent to pay and he's working, of course he can afford food. He wants his money for other things that's all.

Take some lentils, tin tomato and a 1.50 Lidl veg box. Ridiculous behaviour.

of happens again next month, give him nothing and a link to some night jobs

Yeah? And what will you do at 21 when all he has learned is that mum will bail him out? Or 25....30...40...?

Have you seen the price of fish fingers, chicken breasts and even mince these days?!

Bag of porridge, two 4 packs of beans, a couple of loaves and 10 packs of instant noodles. He wont starve but hopefully will learn a lesson.

Two questions:

What is he actually spending his money on?

Is his accomodation financially subsidised in any way as it's provided by his work?

And yeah.....I rather suspect that his "I have no money" is actually" I have my going out money that I dont want to spend on food"

I would guess that he is in the army and is spending all of his money in the pub.....

And before anyone says it, no food in the army isnt free it is under the "pay as you dine" scheme.

This is a list of what he would get in a food parcel, it's nutritionally balanced but fairly boring.

https://www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/emergency-food/food-parcel/

I agree with everyone saying things about budgeting. How far away is he? Could he pay his wage in to an account of yours and you give him X amount weekly? Or even daily if he is that bad at budgeting.

It depends how much he earns & what other bills he pays. Is he spending it all on Uber eats & going out? Or does he genuinely run out as he's not earning much?

Rice requires a lot of energy to cook. Pasta is better. Or jacket potatoes if he has a microwave.

6 tins of baked beans, large bag of pasta, 2 X passata, block of cheese, bag of apples, easy peelers, large loaf of bread, pot of pate, packet of sausages and a dozen eggs. He's only 18 and still needs support. Could you persuade him to buy grocery vouchers when he first gets paid?

So would I. Some of these replies are horrible. Yes he has to learn but he’s only 18.

Exactly.
Why hasn’t he learned to cook and manage money by now? Have you always bailed him out?

Christ, I'm glad none of you were my mother! Value rice and beans. How tight are you? I would offer to lend him £100 for the rest of the month. It is hard learning to manage your money. By making him starve for the rest of the month (rice and beans, what 800 cals a day for a man?!) he will just blow his money when he gets paid and he will get used to a feast or famine situation.
Ever heard of kindness?

Does he have access to a food pantry nearby?

Exactly! What a load of awful people. One day they will be vulnerable too and in need of support - let’s hope they receive a bit more kindness than they are suggesting OP doles out!

what are the monetary arrangements?

dd’s loan is used for rent (doesn’t pay it Al so I top up), then she gets a weekly allowance (tip I followed - given on a Monday which helps incentivise spreading through the week). She also has whatever she saved from working through the holidays. I have to say she has generally been really good with managing her money so probably would have been fine with a term my rather than weekly allowance, but we’ve got into the habit now.

I do know plenty who had the full terms loan/allowance at the beginning of term and blow through the lot very quickly. It is a lot of responsibility at 18.

Sorry - read through the op too quickly and thought he was at Uni

He is not earning enough to live within his means.
😉😁😁

Another one here who would offer support. It's ridiculous banging on about what he 'should' be able to to,he's not therefore he needs help. He's 18 and starting out he's not 24 and has been doing it for years and at that point it's the time to withdraw.

Lost of kids at 18 are at uni with rent being paid by parents and student loans/ allowance being sent by parents too.

No, he's an adult. You can be 100% sure he'll be managing fine at other "adult" things like pubbing, clubbing, having sex, maybe smoking, drug taking, etc. We do too much "infantilising" of our children generally and it does them no good in the long run.

A couple of generations ago, he'd have joined the working world a lot sooner than 18, working in dirty factories, coal mines, shipyards, etc. No, we don't want to go back there, but at that age, they're perfectly capable of being fully functional adults unless they have a genuine disability! In the wars, they were conscripted to go and fight at that age!

You need to set firm boundaries and he needs to learn, pretty damn quickly, how to budget and to understand money!

As others have said, if he genuinely has no money for food, then provide him with a couple of loafs of bread and a few tins of beans, a bag of pasta, etc. Just enough to stop him starving, but at the same time making him responsible for his actions. It's the only way they learn! They can't pretend their adults one minute and then keep coming crying to mummy because they've spent all their money on crap the next minute!

I'd lend him money but on the strict understanding he pays you back on pay day as I wouldn't want him going hungry but I would want him to know he has to be responsible and repay you.

When my eldest was at uni I would send him gift vouchers for his local supermarket rather than send money as I didn't want any of it spent at the pub and I wasn't close enough to drop off food.

It sounds like the OP has been dealing out plenty of kindness. It sounds as though bailing him out is a regular occurrence. The fact that she's now asking for cheap meal ideas suggests that she's been bailing him out to a degree where he's been able to eat whatever he wants. It hasn't worked yet. What makes you think this month will be different?

How can you be 100% of that @Badbadbunny ? Do you know him?

Or are you just making assumptions because you think teenagers are all the same? Drinking/Smoking/Drugging etc.