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Original poster

Overseas Hen Doo. What’s the Budget?

90 replies

GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 16:50

Been invited to a hen next year. Want to go, but think the budget is a bit mad (£1500) for a 3 or 4 night trip.

what did you spend for flights, villa and a few activities? It’s in Europe so nowhere particularly exotic.

do you think £1500 is excessive? I have a young family, and think i would rather spend that on a family holiday for all four of us.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarried · 09/10/2023 16:53

I wouldn't. I COULD afford it, I just wouldn't WANT to spend that much on a weekend.

Original poster
GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 17:00

I agree! I can afford it, but…

I think a lot of the girls will drop out now due to cost, but the bride isn’t organising it so may be unaware. The group chat is very quiet.

no whooo yeahs or can’t wait messages!

OP posts:
ColdEvenings · 09/10/2023 17:01

I started a post last week asking exactly the same thing!!!

Ours was £800. For 3 nights!! In France!!

Fuck that! I could go a decent holiday for 2 weeks for that.

Anyway I said no far too much for me, as did several others. And it's gone down to £300 for 3 nights all-inclusive.

Just madness! Why would I want to spend £800 on 3 nights away with people I didn't really know.

pecanpie101 · 09/10/2023 17:01

Went on a abroad one last year. Spent £800 for everything. It was very expensive but had a great time.

Original poster
GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 17:06

I don’t want to be “that person” pointing out it’s excessive. The core group of girls go on loads of hens so I thought maybe this is the going rate?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 09/10/2023 17:10

Can you speak (ie: not text) to the main organiser and just be honest and say that it's way beyond your budget (no need to go into specifics) and will be unable to attend?
That will be the minimum before getting to the airport, meals, extra drinks etc etc.

So glad that the only Hen Night I've ever been invited to meant dinner at a Berni Inn Grin.

mintbiscuit · 09/10/2023 17:11

You would need to remove a zero off the end for me to attend. Also a 1 from the front.

(sorry I hate Hen parties 😂)

literalviolence · 09/10/2023 17:12

Gosh, I'd expect about 500-600 for that!

TheChosenTwo · 09/10/2023 17:18

I’d pay it for a really close friend/family member although I guess if we weren’t close I wouldn’t be invited to the abroad one!

LadyHag · 09/10/2023 17:18

You need to be the person saying "Sorry, die to annual leave and costs I need to use my holidays carefully and that would be our budget for our family holiday this year" and have lots of cherrs quietly from people who will be glad you have addressed the elephant in the room. And if it causes problems then it shows they weren't worth spending the money on.

GiraffeInABath · 09/10/2023 17:19

I fell out (no longer speaking to) my best friend over this. She insisted on a 4 night hen do in Ibiza in June (so peak season). I potentially have the money but don’t want to spend it on that. Alcohol, all poses for Instagram, a busy crowd of people on their phones then sharing accommodation with other hens who I don’t know? No thank you.

I would happily spend money on a holiday to visit the ancient sites of Egypt or guerrilla tracking in Rwanda but £1k (and the rest! Entrance fees to beach clubs etc are expensive in Europe) on a few days because somebody else is getting married is ridiculous.

also, the best hen I’ve ever been on was at the bride’s house. It involved wine and cake as provided by the bride, we were all given an individual photo of the groom and painted this accordingly! Lot of laughs, nobody spent more than a taxi/train fare and all were home in their own bed for midnight.
Be firm and stand up for yourself

LadyHag · 09/10/2023 17:19

Does the budget include your day to day costs, eg meals, drinks trips etc?

lenalove · 09/10/2023 17:20

That seems really steep, and sounds like others agree judging by silence! As PP suggests can you maybe get in touch with the organiser and see if plans can be adapted to suit more people?

LoveStHelier · 09/10/2023 17:22

No way! I can afford it and that amount shocks me. What is included for that!?

Aylestone · 09/10/2023 17:22

LadyHag · 09/10/2023 17:19

Does the budget include your day to day costs, eg meals, drinks trips etc?

I was going to say that one thing is pretty much guaranteed with hen parties abroad, you’ll almost definitely go over budget. Usually by a lot in my experience. Is the wedding in the uk at least?

BerriesNutsConkers · 09/10/2023 17:23

That's a crazy amount of money!!!

waltzingparrot · 09/10/2023 17:24

Makes me yearn for a pizza and a night in a home town bar - £80 tops.

MinnieMountain · 09/10/2023 17:28

The maximum I’ll do for a hen do I one night away. No way would I spend that much.

Meeting · 09/10/2023 17:32

That's absolute madness. I could easily afford it and wouldn't even consider spending that on a hen party/holiday.

I'd have to send a message pointing out that it was extortionate. No doubt many others will be glad you did.

ColdEvenings · 09/10/2023 17:34

GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 17:06

I don’t want to be “that person” pointing out it’s excessive. The core group of girls go on loads of hens so I thought maybe this is the going rate?

I was that person and messaged them separately to say. Not paying that, thanks but no thanks. Obviously a lot more diplomatically.

Then another girl posted on the public group and said they'd seen such and such for £x amount which was a lot less.

Anyway a few days later they came back with different price. The thing is I know the bride would hate the shit that's going on. It's all being arranged by MoO.

Same as PP. wish it was just a meal out, like the olden days!

Don't know why the MoOs get so carried away.

Original poster
GimmeGin · 09/10/2023 18:02

I don’t know the organiser well enough to call her.

she obviously wants to organise an amazing hen for her best friend and is personally comfortable spending that kind of cash. However, the girls who are just “normal” friends maybe don’t feel the same way (like me).

im sure there are other European sunshine spots that would be just as nice (it’s nowhere special).

we will see what transpires!..

OP posts:
Ragwort · 09/10/2023 20:53

As you don't know her that well it's probably even easier to call her ... there's no awkwardness as you presumably won't be bumping into her ... just be upfront & honest, it's outrageous that someone is organising something that's so expensive... or send a text if you really can't face talking to her.

swayingstreetlamp · 09/10/2023 20:57

I'm trying to organise one of these at the moment and we're aiming for around £500-£600pp (there are 15 of us). £1500 is insane.

MichaelBurnhamFan · 09/10/2023 21:00

I would say something. The one hen do I was involved in organising, one of the others who was helping had completely unrealistic expectations about what people could afford and needed it pointing out that no, not everyone can afford it or will be able to save up because it’s “beckies hen” we eventually put a plan to the group that was fine.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 09/10/2023 21:09

Speak up, I bet others will follow you as no-one want to be that person, but thats extortionate!!