Overseas Hen Doo. What’s the Budget?

[GimmeGin]

Been invited to a hen next year. Want to go, but think the budget is a bit mad (£1500) for a 3 or 4 night trip.

what did you spend for flights, villa and a few activities? It’s in Europe so nowhere particularly exotic.

do you think £1500 is excessive? I have a young family, and think i would rather spend that on a family holiday for all four of us.

Nobody has replied yet. Oh dear I think there’s going to be a huge drop out rate. Which is actually really sad. I’d rather have all my friends and a cheaper event.

I think the organiser thought of an amazing place to go, made the big reveal then discovered flights are really expensive. She should have binned it off, but has probably done so much research on activities etc, she doesn’t want to have to start from scratch with new location. She’s a lovely girl tho. Definitely not a CF. Just made a poor choice of destination.

agree with pp. Malaga is beautiful and not anything like magalluf. I would be happy with somewhere like that.

So if you did end up going, what would the additional cost be of attending the actual wedding, after the £1500 hen do? So the additional cost of wedding attire, the wedding gift, getting to the venue, potentially staying at the venue, potentially baby sitting costs etc. So in total you could be spending £2000-£2500, in total, just on one person, just for their one magical day, and the lead up to it?? That’s utter madness. And it’s embarrassingly greedy.

I still think £600 is nuts price to pay for a long weekend away! You can go to Florida for a week for that! Madness!!

I think £1500 is mad for flights and accommodation. I’m not sure what is drawing the organiser to this particular destination. There must be something special there that I’m not aware of. Maybe a bougee beach club or amazing restaurant or something? I just don’t know!!

we could definitely get 3 night in New York for £1500 tho.

If I was you OP I’d be the first to drop out, rather than risk feeling like you need to make the effort following drop outs.

I could afford it but would still just say 'sorry, out of my budget' because I wouldn't want to spend that much on a hen. I'd be happy with £400 max for a 3 night European break.

I can afford it, but I can’t justify it iyskwim.

the other hens are in professional jobs, some with kids, some single. We would have a blast no matter where we went. I think venue is irrelevant to a certain extent. It’s a good fun bunch. We do like nice food, classy places. So spends will be a lot on top I think.

How the fuck much?
Not a chance in hell.

Thats ALOT!! I've been to a couple and they were always 3 nights and about £600. That included cheap flights, airport taxis, accommodation and Kitty money for breakfasts / lunches and drinks. This is to mainland Spain and Majorca. I've just booked an all-inclusive 7nt cruise with PO for £1500. Thats too much for a hen imo

Bow out now, from past experience the price will only increase as time goes on so even if you’re just about happy now, you might not be in six months. Not to mention, it’s a ridiculous amount for a hen do.

The organisers need to gain some perspective.

I hope someone in the group chat pipes up soon. Not a peep!

Just say no. Politely, now. You can think of a number of reasons, flights impact on the environment comes to mind.

Are you hoping one of us is on the same chat

I think just say what you said a couple of posts ago. 'Guys I love you all, can't wait to see you, we always have fun no matter what the place, but to be honest this is too expensive for my budget. I don't want to cause trouble when X has done so much work but please can we rethink?'

Omg 😳 no! I’d die if someone irl was on here!

I think your message is good, so will wait to see what transpires over next few days.

poor bride will be gutted if hardly anybody goes to her hen. She is lovely and probably blissfully unaware of any issues.

I hope someone in the group chat pipes up soon. Not a peep!

So why don't you ?

I’m just a periphery hen, so don’t want to cause any upset. I will probably just go along with it, as I do want to go.

If there are mass drop outs, I’m sure they will reconsider. Or maybe this is what they usually spend, so it’s only me thinking it’s crazy.

I can't believe someone 'goes along' with spending £1500 (+++) just because they are embarrassed to say 'no thanks' or 'cause any upset'. I hope you are not on here complaining about the CoL crisis?

@Ragwort I do want to go, I like the bride, and the hens are a great bunch of women.

that’s why I will go with the flow. Although I know the cost is about double the norm it seems.

and no, I’m not on here making any comment in the CoL crisis. I’m asking others what their experience is with overseas hens. And I’ve appreciated everyone’s insight.

To be honest, it's better to be upfront first. The last drop out is the worst one to be. It's awful when loads have dropped out and you want to but that means the whole thing is off. Much better to be first!

Just tell the truth that it sounds amazing but it's more than you had budgeted for and wish them an amazing time.

I wouldn't hesitate one minute to reach out in the group chat and saying "Oh, it sounds lovely and I'm sure you'll have the best time! Take lots of pictures. I'm out."

there’s still no comments on the chat. So unless some girls have replied direct to the organiser, I’m still unsure whether it’s just me that thinks it’s crazy. If so, they are obviously earning great salaries, so good on them!

Too much. That's silly

Surely if you’re a periphery hen, it’s easier to say “sorry, it’s out of my budget. Hope you have a good time”. It’s close friends who aren’t in the circle organising who are probably feeling most awkward.

Over 48 hours and not a single reply to the suggestion? That's bizarre.

What did it actually say?

There’s been various chats over the past few months, announcing the venue and approx dates. Everyone happy so far.

then the organiser has found that the flights have turned out to be mega expensive, and it’s all gone a bit quiet when £1500 has been mentioned.

if I was organising, I would have changed the destination as soon as I realised about the flights, but seems like she’s done so much research on this place, and just has to plough on now. Nothing booked yet though.