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Original poster

How to Trick or Treat?

85 replies

DappledThings · 08/10/2023 07:53

I have never been Trick or Treating. It wasn't a thing when I was growing up, nobody did it. I'm not Scottish, Irish or American and have no frame of reference for it other than TV and films.

DC have asked for a couple of years and I've refused (because it's weird to me. Because I have no experience of it and I never expected it to become so big that it would be something their friends were doing).

However this year DD has been invited to a Halloween themed birthday party after school on the day with the expectation they all head out afterwards so I can't really just take her home when all her friends are going.

So what do you actually do? Only knock at housed with lights/decorations. And then just literally "say Trick or Treat?" and get sweets? Is there other etiquette? Does anyone else do it and feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing?

OP posts:
AReallyOldBobTheBuilderFlannel · 08/10/2023 07:57

That’s pretty much it. Only houses that have decoration up or pumpkins outside. Knock, say ‘trick or treat’ and they are generally just given sweets.

We decorated for years, even after ours were too old to do it but last year (due to illness) we didn’t and I was dreading anybody knocking but they didn’t so the ‘no decorations, no knocking’ system works well.

Dessertinthedesert · 08/10/2023 07:59

That’s it. Remind your child to only take one sweet and to say thank you.

Ifailed · 08/10/2023 07:59

You could practise by sitting on a busy pavement with a sign stating "Hungry and Homeless"

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Events & celebrations
Adviceplease2314 · 08/10/2023 08:02

Yes, just that. Houses with pumpkins outside or decorations. Knock, say ‘trick or treat’, take 1 sweet, say thank you and leave.

MorrisWallpaper · 08/10/2023 08:04

It’s not exactly a niche thing. Have you lived under a rock for years?

Original poster
DappledThings · 08/10/2023 08:07

MorrisWallpaper · 08/10/2023 08:04

It’s not exactly a niche thing. Have you lived under a rock for years?

No, I've been well aware of it becoming a big thing. But as it wasn't a thing when I was a child I've not had to engage with it until my children starting asking in the last year.

It may not be niche anymore but it's still personally my first time.

OP posts:
husbandcallsmepickle · 08/10/2023 08:07

We went trick-or-treating in the 80s, in England (I don't understand OP's reference to other countries)

Original poster
DappledThings · 08/10/2023 08:09

husbandcallsmepickle · 08/10/2023 08:07

We went trick-or-treating in the 80s, in England (I don't understand OP's reference to other countries)

That was because every year there are people banging on about it being an American import and others saying it is Celtic in origin. I was just preempting that.

I'm sure some people did do it in England in the 80s but not round my way in the 80s or 90s.

OP posts:
MorrisWallpaper · 08/10/2023 08:13

DappledThings · 08/10/2023 08:07

No, I've been well aware of it becoming a big thing. But as it wasn't a thing when I was a child I've not had to engage with it until my children starting asking in the last year.

It may not be niche anymore but it's still personally my first time.

Show quote history

May I ask where you were living, approximately? I mean, if you’re young enough to have primary age children, trick or treating (not necessarily called that, but dressing up and going around houses at Halloween) has been pretty mainstream in Britain for decades.

You sound a bit strange about this — leaving aside your childhood, you say you never ‘expected it to be so big it would be something their friends would be doing’ — it is that big. It’s been that big for many years.

Im not sure I buy the ‘Oh, I have barely heard of this practice and it never occurred to me my children would ask to do it’. What’s your reluctance about?

caramond · 08/10/2023 08:13

Some round here say Happy Halloween instead of Trick or Treat - I think it's a kinder way as they wouldn't actually trick you either way...

Remember the people who decorate most likely enjoy it and are happy to see visitors. I always look forward to it 🎃

EfficientlyDecluttering · 08/10/2023 08:15

I was wary at first too, but one year we when the DCs were little we decorated our house, bought sweets and waited, lots of dressed up children knocked, said trick or treat and took a sweet politely, so we set out ourselves the next year and realised how popular it was, it was very sociable and friendly and I miss it now the DCs are too old (so do they). We still always decorate and get lots of callers. People here are good about the "no pumpkin no knock" rule. Take a basket for each child to collect the sweets in and maybe a torch for dark footpaths.

Original poster
DappledThings · 08/10/2023 08:15

caramond · 08/10/2023 08:13

Some round here say Happy Halloween instead of Trick or Treat - I think it's a kinder way as they wouldn't actually trick you either way...

Remember the people who decorate most likely enjoy it and are happy to see visitors. I always look forward to it 🎃

I like that, thank you. Seems less weird given they won't actually be playing any tricks!

OP posts:
Normandy144 · 08/10/2023 08:16

Don't over think it. These are the rules:

  1. dress up in costume
  2. only knock at houses that are decorated
  3. say trick or treat when door opens
  4. take a sweet (or however many homeowner invites you to)
  5. say a loud thank you and go on your way It's not begging, it's a fun activity for kids. Those that are decorated are prepared with sweets and won't think you're begging.
EfficientlyDecluttering · 08/10/2023 08:19

The reason I was wary was because we didn't use to decorate and therefore didn't get callers and weren't sure what to expect, thinking it might all be teenagers and a bit intimidating. Then once we tried it we realised it was completely different.

Blueolivio · 08/10/2023 08:22

People are so weird about trick or treating. Around here everyone who wants to take part decorates their house and on the night has a lit pumpkin outside. Trick or treaters then go and ring the doorbell and the person answers, normally comments on costumes etc, and then gets a bowl of sweets - each trick or treater takes one. We all smile lots, laugh, say thank you, move on to the next house. It’s really fun and I never get this attitude often seen on mumsnet that it’s ‘begging’ etc. I love handing out the sweets as much as my kids like going.

Original poster
DappledThings · 08/10/2023 08:22

MorrisWallpaper · 08/10/2023 08:13

May I ask where you were living, approximately? I mean, if you’re young enough to have primary age children, trick or treating (not necessarily called that, but dressing up and going around houses at Halloween) has been pretty mainstream in Britain for decades.

You sound a bit strange about this — leaving aside your childhood, you say you never ‘expected it to be so big it would be something their friends would be doing’ — it is that big. It’s been that big for many years.

Im not sure I buy the ‘Oh, I have barely heard of this practice and it never occurred to me my children would ask to do it’. What’s your reluctance about?

Show quote history

A few places. Large town in Midlands, small town in Cumbria, small town in Bucks.

17 years in London as an adult. It was never really on my radar. Moved to small village in Kent 5 years ago and was amazed seeing loads of kids roaming in costumes. It's nothing I've seen outside of American movies in real life!

It wasn't something I had to consider until last year when my children were old enough to ask about it. Even after seeing the village children I still tend to think of it as something other people do who did grow up with it. So I am a tad wary is all, it's just new to me. And the idea of knocking on strangers' doors to ask for sweets is intrinsically weird if you've never done it.

It's fine, I get it. Loads of people do it. People expect to be asked. Still just feels funny and I'd rather they weren't interested but I'm sucking it up.

OP posts:
Allthingsdecember · 08/10/2023 08:22

Trick or treating was completely normal where I grew up in England (90’s). I had no idea it wasn’t a thing everywhere in the country!

We used to be allowed to knock on any house with their lights on. Keeping the hall light off was the sign that you didn’t want trick or treaters (though some people gave passive aggressive bible leaflets or apples rather than not take part at all).

I think the standard now is to only knock on doors if the house displays a pumpkin?

RingALingADingDong · 08/10/2023 08:24

Ifailed · 08/10/2023 07:59

You could practise by sitting on a busy pavement with a sign stating "Hungry and Homeless"

Nasty, rude & unnecessary
let’s hope your day gets better

ConsistentlyPeeved · 08/10/2023 08:25

@Ifailed
Looking at your comment you're not being kind about the homeless. Apparently it's a terrible thing to not have a home and be hungry. Don't judge, you don't know their story or what they've been through.

Plus many people join in with the spirit of Halloween and where I used to live there were many people who'd say they'd bought loads of sweets in and didn't get a single knock and they were disappointed.

Fair enough if you don't like it, don't partake. But don't try and make out that those who are doing it are "hungry and homeless".

Finteq · 08/10/2023 08:26

Just one question.

The person who opens the doors with treats.

Are they supposed to give the treat to the trick or treaters or offer a bucket or something and the trick or treaters picks some out?

EfficientlyDecluttering · 08/10/2023 08:29

The norm is to hold out a container of sweets for the TorTer to pick from. Quality street tin or similar.

EfficientlyDecluttering · 08/10/2023 08:30

We sometimes put some satsumas in our container alongside sweets, they go surprisingly quickly. The other thing is to only give wrapped sweets, haribos, fun-size etc, for hygiene and mess reasons.

Misstabithabean · 08/10/2023 08:32

DappledThings · 08/10/2023 08:22

A few places. Large town in Midlands, small town in Cumbria, small town in Bucks.

17 years in London as an adult. It was never really on my radar. Moved to small village in Kent 5 years ago and was amazed seeing loads of kids roaming in costumes. It's nothing I've seen outside of American movies in real life!

It wasn't something I had to consider until last year when my children were old enough to ask about it. Even after seeing the village children I still tend to think of it as something other people do who did grow up with it. So I am a tad wary is all, it's just new to me. And the idea of knocking on strangers' doors to ask for sweets is intrinsically weird if you've never done it.

It's fine, I get it. Loads of people do it. People expect to be asked. Still just feels funny and I'd rather they weren't interested but I'm sucking it up.

Show quote history

I'm with you OP - my 5 year old has been asking to go and I keep saying I don't like the idea of knocking on doors asking for sweets! I have a feeling I'm going to have to give in to it at some point though and reading this thread, that people only get involved if they decorate, makes it sound slightly more okay.

user1471538283 · 08/10/2023 08:45

It's not begging. We used to go when my DS was small. He'd get dressed up and we would knock on doors with decorations except this elderly lady who wanted us to call and gave out boxes of chocolates! She loved seeing the children.

He always thanked people. One neighbor used to have a party for adults and they would all club together and give cash.

When my DS was too old I loved seeing the children dressed up. I doubt it will happen this year because of where we live which is a shame.

Bookish88 · 08/10/2023 08:45

It's been a completely normal and commonplace thing in England for at least the last 30 years (when I started going with my mum as a 5YO), and no doubt much longer. It's not some recent American import as you seem to imply OP Confused

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