If i go to clubs, groups, events i end up being the ultimate wall flower, pushing myself beyond my boundaries is really really difficult for me. At work i know what i am talking about, i have something to talk to people about, beyond work its like bore people to death with work or stutter and stumble over myself. I never get much beyond hi hello. My dependence on my work is scary, i think i will be working until they force me out at whtever retirement age will be.
My post crossed with yours.
I totally understand (and recognise!) that feeling. For me, the important things was to join a club not to meet people but to learn something new that I'd enjoy. Then the conversation can be about the actual thing you are learning. And from that you can progress to: I was thinking of going to the exhibition/expo/concert/talk (that is related to what you're learning) does anyone want to come?
The trick is to plan in advance not to feel rejected if people say no, or they have already been. They may not have picked up on the fact that you are up for trips outside class, but next time, they'll know and might invite you. Allow it to take time for friendship to develop. Even if it takes 2-3 years, you'll be learning new skills, getting out of the house and better off socially than you would be if you stay home binge-watching box sets and feeling lonely.
When DS had crippling loneliness I suggested he did three things a week - one for fitness, as looking after your body helps with mood, one to help others, and one because he was interested. He helped out at two charities. At one, he always felt a bit of an outsider, at the other, people took to him immediately and ended up being close friends, holidaying together etc. You just never know. You have to be prepared to try and fail, then try again. easier said than done but worth it in the long run.