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Have any of you jobs where you are regularly abused verbally?

117 replies

Cantstandpowerpoints · 16/09/2023 07:19

My daughters are both teachers in their 20s. One newly qualified, one just started her 2nd year.

The newly qualified teacher was verbally abused on her second day (!) by a parent, it was nothing she’d done, the parent was angry about something school related. Swearing, screaming etc.

She said although she felt like crying she took herself off afterwards on her own and had a word with herself along the lines of toughening up if she wants to make it in teaching. School staff very supportive of her, she’s absolutely fine.

Second daughter verbally abused yesterday by an angry parent. Again nothing personal, my daughter was on duty at the start of school and parent swearing and screaming at her about parking issues. Again, angry at the school rather than my daughter. Again she was upset, but didn’t show it and is over it.

I was really sad for both of them as we’re not a ‘shouty’ family and life is usually calm so it’s upsetting to think your kids are being sworn and shouted at at work.

It got me thinking. Is your job one where this happens on a regular basis? I’m thinking obvious ones like traffic wardens, but maybe you’re abused regularly in a profession we would never expect? How do you cope? Do you get used to it, zone out, or has it got too much for you in the end?

It does seem that people are becoming more and more angry in general and are not thinking about the human being they’re abusing.

OP posts:
cryinglaughing · 16/09/2023 07:22

Yes, work in a school.
The kids have potty mouths on them 🙄

Report and move on, it's a daily occurrence and I'm not a teacher or TA.

OHVanessaShanessaJenkins · 16/09/2023 07:25

Lost count of the bruises, scratches, spit I’ve wiped off my uniform.
Been called every name under the sun.
Told solicitors will be in touch, look behind me when I leave work.
Shouted at, sworn at, kicked, punched.
I was once kicked across the room, landed on by backside.

Always finished my shift.

Can you guess what my job was?

ana101012 · 16/09/2023 07:25

Yes I work in travel insurance, get spoken to like shit on a daily basis. It now just goes over my head. You do get use to it but it's still not nice especially if you're having a shitty day in general

ThrallsWife · 16/09/2023 07:26

Another teacher here and yes, it happens all too often, and I've been in the profession for over 20 years. It's got far worse over the last 10 years, though, as too many parents now defend their kids and instead of teaching them manners, ask me what I have done to provoke them.

In many jobs (not all, but many) that kind of behaviour would get you banned.

Cantstandpowerpoints · 16/09/2023 07:26

Sad tales 😟

@OHVanessaShanessaJenkins police?

OP posts:
MrsMorrisey · 16/09/2023 07:27

OHVanessaShanessaJenkins · 16/09/2023 07:25

Lost count of the bruises, scratches, spit I’ve wiped off my uniform.
Been called every name under the sun.
Told solicitors will be in touch, look behind me when I leave work.
Shouted at, sworn at, kicked, punched.
I was once kicked across the room, landed on by backside.

Always finished my shift.

Can you guess what my job was?

Nurse

Tlolljs · 16/09/2023 07:27

Yes work in a supported living house. Sworn at every day. Had things thrown at me. Not been hit though.

ValkyrieAssassin · 16/09/2023 07:28

Yep. I am a solicitor (ironically in a firm that specialises among other things in employment law). Our Managing Director is extremely verbally abusive. has reduced me and others to tears on many occasion. He never apologises either- just once to a client he swore and screamed at and who was brining in business worth a few million. He apologised for that - eventually.

And I specialise in divorce law so i am frequently roundly abused by clients who are under stress and/or cannot see why their settlements are not either larger or smaller than they think is fair (not what the law thinks is fair and that has been decided by a judge and which they have been given fair advice about).

It's quite draining and I am not sure why I do it.

OHVanessaShanessaJenkins · 16/09/2023 07:29

Yes. Nurse. Sadly it’s regular and even more sadly, it’s accepted as “part of the job”.

ValkyrieAssassin · 16/09/2023 07:30

''who are under stress and/or cannot see why their settlements are not either larger or smaller than they think is fair (not what the law thinks is fair and that has''

there was a rogue 'not' in there but hopefully my meaning is clear!

Grinchymother · 16/09/2023 07:30

OHVanessaShanessaJenkins · 16/09/2023 07:29

Yes. Nurse. Sadly it’s regular and even more sadly, it’s accepted as “part of the job”.

I immediately pictured nurse. It's just appalling and I'm so sorry.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/09/2023 07:30

All the time. I've spent most of my life working with vulnerable people.

It's not about toughening up really. Soft people who harden tend to miss the point. Anger is unmet need. After 30 years of it, I can normally find whatever the unmet need is and at least empathise and calm them down.

I was being shouted at by wankers when I worked in a call centre in my 20s. People haven't become worse.

Cantstandpowerpoints · 16/09/2023 07:31

How sad 😔

So do people think things are getting worse?

How do you cope, I mean are there any practical things you do to manage?

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 16/09/2023 07:32

Blimey @ValkyrieAssassin . Can you move firms? I’m a solicitor and left because my head of department was a bully (though not as bad as your MD).

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/09/2023 07:33

are there any practical things you do to manage?

Stay calm, stay curious, model calm body language, emotionally agree even if you can't practically agree, empathise and try to help.

There are very very few people I can't calm down. At one point I was famous at work for turning the shouters into criers. Because that's what they were actually feeling, sad.

OdeToBarney · 16/09/2023 07:33

ValkyrieAssassin · 16/09/2023 07:28

Yep. I am a solicitor (ironically in a firm that specialises among other things in employment law). Our Managing Director is extremely verbally abusive. has reduced me and others to tears on many occasion. He never apologises either- just once to a client he swore and screamed at and who was brining in business worth a few million. He apologised for that - eventually.

And I specialise in divorce law so i am frequently roundly abused by clients who are under stress and/or cannot see why their settlements are not either larger or smaller than they think is fair (not what the law thinks is fair and that has been decided by a judge and which they have been given fair advice about).

It's quite draining and I am not sure why I do it.

I need to know the name of the firm so I can avoid now that I am jobhunting!

Grinchymother · 16/09/2023 07:34

@Cantstandpowerpoints I am sad but not surprised. The world has become a very strange place when acceptable to lose your temper at people, and for them to have to put up with it as part of their job.

MrsMorrisey · 16/09/2023 07:35

OHVanessaShanessaJenkins · 16/09/2023 07:29

Yes. Nurse. Sadly it’s regular and even more sadly, it’s accepted as “part of the job”.

Takes one to know one 💪👊❤️

Beezknees · 16/09/2023 07:35

All the time, I work in customer service for a utilities company.

HappyCamperTent · 16/09/2023 07:35

I’m a teacher in an semh school and verbally abused everyday… sometimes physically but that’s rare.

It washes over me. But I have to remind myself that not all kids are like this

Cantstandpowerpoints · 16/09/2023 07:35

@MrsTerryPratchett
cross posted

I agree about not toughening up necessarily. Both daughters absolutely understand the unmet needs of their pupils and would always understand that anger is communication. I think it’s because it was parents not children. Neither were upset about their kids, which would be more understandable, just random stuff like parking.

Im glad in a way things don’t seem worse than 20 years ago maybe it’s our perception. Hard to say and maybe others think differently?

Sad for nurses !

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 16/09/2023 07:35

I worked in hospitality in my youth. I was bullied, harassed, physically and sexually assaulted. It says something about my upbringing that I accepted this.

I worked in child care and received abuse (Infrequently) from parents and children

I worked in social services. Enough said.

I now work in a environment where no one abuses me. Bliss!!

TankFlyBoss · 16/09/2023 07:37

Ha. education welfare officer.

ReeseWitherfork · 16/09/2023 07:38

Yes, I’ve worked in customer service. I feel confident most people who work in customer service have experienced regular abuse.

I was a receptionist in a doctor surgery for a while. I wouldn’t say the abuse was “regular” but when it did happen it was awful. Worse than in customer service.

OHVanessaShanessaJenkins · 16/09/2023 07:38

😁