Have any of you jobs where you are regularly abused verbally?

[Cantstandpowerpoints]

My daughters are both teachers in their 20s. One newly qualified, one just started her 2nd year.

The newly qualified teacher was verbally abused on her second day (!) by a parent, it was nothing she’d done, the parent was angry about something school related. Swearing, screaming etc.

She said although she felt like crying she took herself off afterwards on her own and had a word with herself along the lines of toughening up if she wants to make it in teaching. School staff very supportive of her, she’s absolutely fine.

Second daughter verbally abused yesterday by an angry parent. Again nothing personal, my daughter was on duty at the start of school and parent swearing and screaming at her about parking issues. Again, angry at the school rather than my daughter. Again she was upset, but didn’t show it and is over it.

I was really sad for both of them as we’re not a ‘shouty’ family and life is usually calm so it’s upsetting to think your kids are being sworn and shouted at at work.

It got me thinking. Is your job one where this happens on a regular basis? I’m thinking obvious ones like traffic wardens, but maybe you’re abused regularly in a profession we would never expect? How do you cope? Do you get used to it, zone out, or has it got too much for you in the end?

It does seem that people are becoming more and more angry in general and are not thinking about the human being they’re abusing.

When I worked for 111. It was awful, I was abused daily and called some vile names when I was just trying to help people. A lot of them were just taking out their NHS frustrations on me as I was a person on the phone to vent to but it didn't hurt any less. I quickly learnt I was not emotionally strong enough for that job.

Bless them OP. I’m a 35 year old “tough” working class teacher. When I say tough, I was raised on a council house and it was no biggy to get into the occasional scrap. My own dad was shouty and you can say my background is colourful. Do I still feel like crying when the parents take me off guard? Yep. Is it worth it? No.

Honestly your daughters sound like wonderful people. They don’t need to toughen up. Unfortunately they’re probably both caring individuals 😢. Personally I just don’t know what to say. Can they explore other careers whilst they are still young enough to do so?

I work in paediatrics. Regularly verbally shouted at etc by parents, their families and also the patients themselves.

There’s an allowance made for stressed out family members but it regularly goes beyond that.

Been spat at, hit, lunged at, verbally abused, bitten..

I'm a nurse in a high security prison

I was abused more in the NHS

Yes I worked in a supermarket and abuse is common. Now I work in social care and that's worse. Specially being assaulted and nothing is done

@anybloodyname

Same as my sister. Now a MH nurse in a medium secure. No abuse now she’s left the NHS.

I'm a nurse. Have worked in secure settings, residential, specialist schools, crisis response and even briefly as a PIP assessor. I've been shouted and screamed at on many occasions but have never been physically hit. The biggest skill you can possess as a nurse in the situations is to know when to listen and when to respond. I have always allowed the person to vent, acknowledged their feelings/situation and offered reflective, empathetic statements. I'm always careful not to apologise for something I have no control over. In most situations this technique works to funnel the situation into how the person is actually feeling which is usually either sad or frustrated.

Having said all that there's no way I could listen to someone screaming and shouting about things such as the examples given in the OP and through this post. I've stepped in a number of times when I've heard someone shouting at a shop assistant and also when I've seen a parent yelling at the lady that stands at the school gates.

@Cantstandpowerpoints i disagree with whoever said it’s not worse - it is in schools I’m afraid. Far far worse. Parents are far more prepared to defend their kids (abusively) than try and find out what actually happened. I think Facebook/social media has made parents far bolder because they post on there and get lots of “I’d be tearing up the school and screaming in their faces until they sorted it” responses and so they do.

And it’s not ok - at all - and I’m sorry your kids are having to cope with it 😢. It’s why I left the profession.

Yes, I get a lot of abuse at work: I'm a nurse. Some patients and relatives can be awful. I've been hit, kicked, spat at, had stuff thrown at me, been groped, sworn at, yelled at, had awful accusations thrown at me (completely unfounded and not true), had awful threats towards me/my family (rape, killing me, destroying my life/career). There have been occasions where it's left me tearful and really shaken up (normally when it's a 6ft plus bloke standing over me shouting and threatening all sorts). I always report it and make sure I clearly document the incidents in the patient's notes. As a senior nurse, I would go in to deal with the more difficult patients and relatives, rather than leave a junior staff member to do it.

I try to harden up to it, and I try not to take it personally, but that isn't always easy!

Working in mental health you will of course see what’s been written by people here, it can be highly emotive. Many won’t want to be sectioned and/or will be in crisis. Of course not all patients or settings.

There is an approach called "the low arousal approach" which you can practice. You can Google it.

I work in mental health, previously secure mental health, so with very unwell and violent patients and it is very effective.

Being able to not be offended by language, let personal remarks slide off you and deliver compassion to people with massive trauma protects you from harm too.

Generally, angry people are vulnerable because they are not quite in control of themselves and feel powerless.

@Tarne mg last reply was to you but it didn’t tag you sorry

I work in healthcare. Regularly verbally abused. Apparently the NHS has a zero tolerance policy to people abusing their staff but I've never actually seen it be actioned.

Unfortunately it's now just another part of the job and you need to thicken your skin and deal with.

A shift without verbal abuse is rare.

I can still remember the first time I was physically abused - a dear, sweet lady <sarcasm> who pinched me.

The 6ft+ body builder who spat in my face and went to headbutt me, couldn’t punch because he was already cuffed and luckily the police escorting him put him on the floor.

Being called a fucking cunt for not prioritising a patient. When I explained that the team were in resus with a very young patient, her response was that she wished they’d hurry up and fucking die so she could get seen. Minor issue too, something like a broken finger. Painful, yes. Urgent, yes but not as urgent as others.

Dementia patients, although not their fault and it’s a bit easier to take, can be brutal in their words and actions. I’ve been swiped at, scratched, bitten, you name it.

I am a retired nurse but did two years in child protection as a social worker. The threats to me were appalling and part of why I left. The other reason being huge frustration and fear that I frequently could not get children who were clearly at risk of harm removed to safety.

When l was teaching l didn’t get much abuse. But this was before security in schools was so tight.

Random parent forced their way in, went into a maths class ( maths was at the front of the school) and punched the teacher.

Yes all the time. I'm a medical receptionist. It's horrible and ive been brought to tears a few times😞 I'm currently looking for a new job

Yes in customer service. I did it for 3 months and left. People threatening to drive a car in to our office etc

Sadly this happens to my GP colleagues too, as well as the nurses and ACPs too (I'm a GP receptionist).

I'm makes me so angry that people can abuse and assault those who are trying to care for them.

I hope you have a panic alarm system in place and that other staff react quickly to them

I work in architecture and would get verbally abused by millionaires every single day.

One day, I was called an "absolute cunt" for charging a millionaire £3 for some samples he requested. £3. (He knew they weren't free)

Being the only woman on the technical team I frequently received Grand Design types refusing to speak to "the admin" - despite being technically qualified and in charge of building regs. They'd often come in the office demanding to speak to a man.

It's a nasty environment out there....

It's not all Kevin McCloud, pencils, sketching and glass balustrades. (In fact we weren't allowed to use colour and sketch - that's just for TV)

My dd has a summer job as a lifeguard and I was stunned by the abuse she receives. She works in an open air pool and the police have been called three times over the summer.

I did for years as social worker, now my role is more removed from our children and families so not so much. I understood though that for us we were meeting people at some of their most vulnerable moments, the shouts, threats, swearing it's people struggling to regulate their emotions, anger is often actually hurt, fear, frustration and shame. PS @MrsTerryPratchett I am always impressed by your posts, you sound like quite the woman!

Dental receptionist for a short while and the abuse was a daily occurrence. I left when a patient threw the bottle from the water cooler at me.
In retail now and it’s a really good day if we’re not shouted at, sworn at, threatened and abused.
Man I asked not to leave the store with a saw he hadn’t paid for threatened to “ saw your fucking tits off” on a recent occasion. He also said he’d be waiting for me when I left work.

I worked in a pharmacy for a year and regularly got shouted at by customers. No violence though thank goodness.

Customer service roles . You are the first person on the phone or face to face that they can unleash their fury on .