Morbidly Obese - help?!

[OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo]

I'd really love some support from anyone who has been here or who has knowledge in this area.

I am very overweight and really need to get a handle on it.

I would really like to try to avoid surgery although I suspect I would qualify.

Is there any help I can access?

Or what has helped people? its so different tryong to lose10 stone to 2! I am so ashamed its got this bad but I want to change.

Thank you. Especially @Peridot1 I really truly am appreciating all you are saying x

And yes that might have been the thing I read about Tim saying Porridge spiked his!

Looking at the example of your daily food intake that you posted earlier....

Porridge
Rich tea (biscuit)
Peanut butter sandwhich
Satsuma
Naked bar
÷/- crisps
bowl of mixed nuts, 2 dried apricots and a few dark chocolate drops
Salmon, green beans and potatoes.

This is VERY carb heavy!

The nuts, dried fruit and chocolate will spike your blood sugar even more. As does the porridge first thing in the morning - which probably sets a pattern for the rest of the day.

Where are the vegetables? A portion of green beans is totally inadequate. You need to cut the carbs and base your diet around plants and lean protein. I'd say 50% plants + 25-30% protein, plus some complex/unrefined carbs and a little healthy fat such as EVOO.

You also mention that you don't really understand blood sugar spikes. I would really recommend Dr Mark Hyman's The Sugar Solution. I found it a total eye opener and it really helped me overhaul my diet. It explains our addiction to sugar and refined carbs and offers practical advice on healthy eating and losing weight.

I hope you can find a way of getting semaglutide as I think it would really help you because it seems that right now you are just eating too much, and too many carbs - especially refined carbs - and too much sugar.

Dr Becky Gillaspy's short talks on YouTube are also very educational and motivating. Here is one of many:

You can do this but you'll have to accept that it will require a fundamental change in what and how much you eat.

Tbf we had other veg with dinner that was just me thinking ahead as its the green beans I love. I'm not used to recording food at all for a long time but am thinking of starting a food diary. (We had carrots and courgette with dinner)

I dodnt have any veg with lunch -I grabbed what I could quickly to take to work and that can be easily eaten without mess etc.

I was just saying what I was having rather than trying to make out it was in any way perfect.

The nuts is because I'd kept reading you need to get more nuts in. And I thought I'd eat those instead of crisps! And added the 2 apricots to add a fruit and it was a few dark choc chips as that was what I had read!!

This is part of my problem. I change something to add protein/reduce one of the things and someone else says it's not a good thing and this side of food overwhelms me.

I'm not going to be perfect overnight at all .

You are doing fine. It’s hard. And there is so much conflicting information around.

yes your food choices could have been better yesterday but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Concentrate on one meal at a time and build on that. So get your breakfast right for a few weeks until that is embedded in. Then work on lunches. If you get your breakfast right you probably won’t feel the need for biscuits mid morning but if you are hungry have something like a Babybel instead.

I follow a Personal Trainer - Emma Storey Gordon - on Instagram and really like some of her advice. Her account is esgfitness. One thing she posted the other day was “not taking a third biscuit is achieving your goals”. It’s the little things that will get us there slowly. And it doesn’t mean you can’t have biscuits! I have two plain biscuits like Rich Tea every day with a cuppa after my lunch. I have them then because I will have had protein with lunch so having sugar/carbs then is better than having them on their own.

The Glucose Goddess is another good resource. Her books or her Instagram.

I was thinking earlier I wonder if getting your ADHD diagnosed and possibly medicated if that is what is decided might well be your better first step in all of this? I would certainly definitely mention it in your GP appointment.

Thanks. Yes I have babybel ill take some of those :)

The adhd thing I have been meaning to pursue further for ages. I don't think I can be medicated as I think my BP is too high. I also think this particular Dr will laugh me off as making excuses. It's about a 2yr waiting list too. But it does make sense of a lot of things and has prompted me to work with it /look at things that might work for that even if not diagnosed (and not being diagnosed wouldn't ever claim it irl. Just mentioning it here as a potential factor!)

We are waiting for a replacement Dr as mine lovely one has retired. I will definitely go to them when they start.

It's so hard with conflicting info online. British heart foundation. Nhs and British dietics association recommend Porridge (with added fruit) which was why I was starting there.

I was adding nuts into my day intentionally trying to get a portion a day (and stop eating crisps)

I am having salmon as a treat food on Friday as its expensive for us and my favourite. And replacing pizza.

So tbh this is all.me moving in a better direction. I know people disagree about very low carb/paleo etc and I'm trying not to go off on any particular extreme but follow mainstream advice. At least to begin with to get me onto an even keep or how normal people eat. Rather than going from normal person to super healthy/juice diet/paleo whatever.

To deal with adhd/ or similar function issues we have just started a weekly tesco order and sitting down together to plan a list of meals. Another problem is we have autistic kids who have some sensory issues around food. So there's never just one meal .

My husband does a lot of the cooking but can't plan so we plan together now and food arrives. (Week 2 today!)

I'm honestly at the stage where I'm instituting 3 meals and 2 snacks rather than grazing...obviously at my size I was eating so much.

We've got a fruit bowl out for kids to snack (and cheese/houmous etc - Crumpets for them) but also now to keep it in our sight. If it was in the fridge we don't see it so it doesn't exist...

I'm making sure I eat 3 veg at dinner. This is where I am starting. I was forgetting lunch or struggling to fit it in at work so coming home at 2 or 3 ravenous and eating toast crisps etc.

So a planned lunch is my first step in that direction. Even if its easy to eat at work bits for now.

Weekend we have planned veg soup and bread and cheese and something more salad based.

Anyway didn't mean to turn this into a diary! This is probably making this thread unreadable so may stop for a bit or start a new one. But it has really helped my head so much as has everyone's comments.

I still don't know where I can get like one person to help me through this. Or what help I can access apart from surgery but I've got a start.

It is really hard as the advice is very conflicting and in some ways downright wrong. I get annoyed in particular at the porridge with fruit thing. My MIL is Type 2 diabetic and thinks a sachet of quick cook porridge and a banana is a good breakfast as that’s what she has been told. Porridge CAN be good for some people but not everyone. The quick cook porridge is more processed so not as good as the old fashioned proper porridge but a lot of people don’t realise that.

You can find some recipes for higher protein versions of porridge. Adding in Greek yogurt or a protein powder and making overnight oats for instance. Adding some nuts and seeds too. Nuts are a good source of protein but it’s easy to overeat them so you need to watch that but generally they are good.

Your dried apricots yesterday are higher in sugar than some other fruits (all dried fruits are) so some cheese would be better with your nuts than the apricots. Or some yogurt.

Sorry, @AustraliaFlights , I didn't mean yo be too critical, and I realize it can get confusing! To keep it simple...

Cut out sugar, refined carbs and UPF as much as possible.

Aim for 50% plants + 25-30% protein, plus some complex/unrefined carbs (lentils, chickpeas, quinoa), and use just a little healthy fat such as EVOO.

Intermittent fasting, e.g. eat only between 11 am and 7 pm - 2 meals and 1 snack. Or, if this doesn't work for you, split 1400 calories between the 3 small meals.

For example, in a day you could eat c. 1400 calories:
1 chicken breast
1 can tuna or 2 large eggs (omelette or boiled)
200g quinoa or lentils
400g vegetables/salad
100g fruit
100g full fat Greek yoghurt
1 tbsp salad dressing

I'm not suggesting you calories count, but use these kinds of quantities to give you an idea of how much food is 'not too much'.

To put this into context: as we get older, especially post-menopause, we need less food. I'm quite old, and if I ate more than the above, I'd gain weight. However, because my diet is rich in protein and plants, I don't actually feel hungry!

I hope this makes sense and isn't too overwhelming.

You sound as if you're approaching things with a very sensible attitude @AustraliaFlights .There is always going to be conflicting advice on the specifics - partly because there's a lack of good research out there; and partly because people do differ, so there's no single solution that works for everyone.

It doesn't help that a lot of 'healthy diet' advice is 'diet' as in 'food intake' rather than as in 'weight loss'. So it's about improving nutrient intake rather than cutting energy intake. Both are good goals, but they are different and will sometimes conflict.

And public health messages tend to concentrate on being simple and easy to remember - which can be at the expense of accuracy. For example the '5 portions of fruit and veg a day'. Simple - but to be accurate it should be 'at least 5 portions veg a day (and maybe a bit of fruit as well, but not too much) (and when we say veg we mean these types, not those types)'. Which is harder to fit on a badge.

Eating generally 'better' food is a good start. Then you can experiment with what works for you personally - noticing how quickly you get hungry after different types of meals etc.

Slimming world has been proven scientifically NOT to work.
It makes 90% of people have an eating disorder and unhealthy relationship with food.
Just a money making scheme.

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate support.

I dont think I'm going to be cutting down to 2 meals anytime soon. I'm going to intentionally have 3 meals with 2 snacks for a bit to try and regulate my eating - which will be the step from what I was before! (I went on an intuitive eating thing a few years ago and realised my intuition is broken) . Remember I am over 10 stone overweight so I can't do 2 meals just yet. Who knows in time but 3 meals with some planned snacks to get nuts/cheese in for now.

Today I had Muesli and a pear.

I think porridge/Muesli and a fruit will be sticking for now as I like it. Feel full and can stomach it. (Love eggs but not at breakfast.) It isn't instant Porridge it's the big bag of Porridge oats- but yes I could look to "add in" to improve it.

Right now I think I need to work on lunch and dinner and having an acceptable snack prepared so I don't not eat for ages and then binge.

Definitely keen to add more veggies. I like veggies but I need to plan or I go for "quick" when fatigued. Will think if I can do something about lunch as we are already (well this week) adding more veg to dinner. We usually have 3 veg (in the hope the kids between them eat 1 or 2)

I often get peckish jusy before bed too.

@Jeffreybubblesbombom completely agree!

It's just slightly tricky finding what does work! Already there's different views on this thread (low carb or not, etc!)

@PaminaMozart - 1400 calories would be way too low. And the OP has already said she doesn’t want to go down the route of calorie counting.

Your advice is good but I know from how my brain works that it’s all overwhelming. I’m not sure if @AustraliaFlights is like me but my brain works in a way that if I read your post and try to implement it I will fail pretty quickly. If I don’t do it all perfectly I just don’t do it because it’s too hard. Ridiculous I know but it’s certainly how my brain works. And it’s taken me years to try to work with it rather than against it.

Eating generally 'better' food is a good start. Then you can experiment with what works for you personally - noticing how quickly you get hungry after different types of meals etc.

I agree, and this is what I was aiming for in my suggestions above. Real, unadulterated food will keep you satiated longer, and it won't feed the cravings that you are likely to feel with a diet rich in sugar and carbs.

In time you'll get a feel for appropriate portion sizes and how to substitute, e.g. swap a handful of nuts (or even a small icecream or a glass of wine once in a while...) for the quinoa, or a small piece of cheese instead of the yoghurt, et cetera - to introduce a bit of variety and give yourself an occasional treat.

@Peridot1 Yes exactly! My brain does work like yours

I know myself well enough I can't do a full on strict diet. I will try and fail. It needs to be something sustainable so I'm starting with trying to make changes like adding in nuts/veg as at the moment I am honestly eating more than 3 meals and the odd snack turns into "cheese and biscuits...andnwine" which is like a small meal .

I have just realised how outing this could be linked with this name. And it's far too personal for those who know me.

So I'm going to start again as OneMoreStep!

I don't think 1400 is too low, especially for someone who has a lot of weight to lose. An average woman needs around 2000 calories a day. To lose weight, she'll need to cut at least 350 calories a day.

My example above is what I'd aim for - I realise that in real life one may often eat a bit more, so it allows 'room for error'. And, as I said, this is what I, as an older woman, routinely eat, and it is 'enough' - I don't feel hungry.

I know I sound like a broken record, but the key is to wean oneself off the sugar and refined carbs and eat mostly plants and protein.

Hi Pamina.

Yes we had become so reliant on upf. Like crisps, chicken nuggets, chips, and fake veggie stuff (children autistic, one veggie, one beige..)

We just ended up eating what they would.

I'm actively wanting to move towards realnfood. I have ultra processed people and ordered the other book. I just haven't read them yet!

So stage 1 is moving towards less packaged food.

As someone with chronic fatigue and functioning issues this is hard as I need not have things that are complicated but I think it will be a huge first step.

I am so not at the super healthy diet/2 meals/no carbs ever stage. And may not ever be. I want to get to balanced basic healthy eating.

I dont even want to be super thing. I just want to not be morbidly obese.

I think from days of calorie cou ting 1400 will be way too low for me and lead to a starvation mode thing.

I need more calories as I am huge. So even at 2000 if that's what normal health people have... I'd be in deficit!

For now though I'm going to focus on moving away from upf and towards fish, nuts. Veg, etc. I don't really eat much meat so we have sometimes had fake fillets etc which I gather are upf.

You are having a lot to deal with, @AustraliaFlights and I'm not surprised that at ti es you struggle.

Just a couple of observations:
Go easy on the nuts as they are VERY calorie dense.
You can eat some carbs - just avoid refined/white/sugary carbs.

Good luck!

Porridge is quite easy to tweak. I make up my own porridge mix. Jumbo oats rather than porridge oats (the same weight feels bulkier, so the portion seems.bigger than it is), with flax, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, and some dried blueberries or raspberries. Ready mixed together so it takes hardly any time to prepare in the morning - 2 spoons into a bowl, add boiling water, microwave for 5 mins on low. The berries mean it doesn't need any added sweetener.

Improve it even further by stirring in a teaspoon of inulin powder (add just before cooking, not to the pre-made mix, because it tends to go clumpy). This makes it taste a bit sweeter but reduces the blood sugar spikes, makes you feel full for longer, and adds fibre that feeds your gut biome.

Word of warning though: do not start with a whole teaspoon. Use just a small pinch to begin with, and work up gradually as your digestion adjusts to it. Otherwise you'll inflate like a balloon.

Thankyou all. I really do appreciate you all taking the time to post. Truly. I've been so ashamed of this for so long and you've all been so helpful and lovely.

I really struggle to concentrate on books at the moment (yet can keep a mb thread going and scroll away all day 🙄) but I want to get started on those.

I've reported my thread as my name is identifying so I will make my new one now and link if anyone wants to keep helping please do!

I wasn’t quite morbidly obese but very nearly, I was 7 stone overweight at my heaviest so think BMI was around 38.6.

I lost it all in a year by following the 5:2 diet for the first few months then just portion control and eating well but also lots of exercise. I lifted weights, did HIIT workouts on YouTube and got into running. It wasn’t easy, I run laps around the garden to begin with because I was too embarrassed to do it publicly.

Dropped 7 stone and 5 dress sizes in a year so it’s doable. This was 7ish years ago, I had 2 DC close together so gained weight again and was about 4 stone overweight at the start of last year. Didn’t do 5:2 diet that time, just ate better and started running and lifting weights again. All 4 stone was gone in 5 months and I haven’t regained it.

I have tried the NHS route, as I am obese, unfortunately the wait times just to be seen by the weight management tier 3 team is at least a years or more, and if your lucky enough to get to tier 4 the wait for surgery is 3-4 years in my area. My health related conditions diebetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea etc mean I cannot afford to wait, my mobility is severely affected, so I have taken the decision to have a mini bypass privately in the UK, next month. I've been very lucky that my family are very supportive, and have helped with the cost.

Wow Satre thats amazing! I'd love to know what "just ate better" looked like for you? I am actually struggling at this first stage!

Flidina that was my worry about help if I could even access it. Good luckwnith the surgery.

I've started another thread as "one more step along the road I go"

Please can we do that one and hopefully this one will die/mn will delete it.