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Original poster

3 kids. 3 bedrooms. Let them bicker, or come up with a plan?

116 replies

NailyDale · 11/09/2023 10:02

We're moving to a new house.
I get the main bedroom.
Then, there are three very similar bedrooms for the kids.
Kids are 18, 16 and 12.
There's really nothing much to choose between the bedrooms. They're all nice double rooms. One is slightly bigger. One has a nice view.

Kids haven't seen the house yet. It occurred to me that they will see it on moving day and if two of them decide they want the same room we will begin our new house with bickering and bad feeling. Perhaps I'm being a bit superstitious? Or sentimental? I don't want to begin a new house with bickering.

If it's relevant, new house will be a bedroom downgrade for 18yo and an upgrade for 12yo (compared to current house).

How would you play it?

OP posts:

EggInANest · 12/09/2023 12:10

PerspiringElizabeth · 12/09/2023 11:39

I’m not gonna read 4 pages but have read your posts OP and haven’t seen any mention of using a downstairs room? Might be an idea. We have 3 kids in a 3 bed and one is going downstairs (ex-dining room and we’re left with spacious kitchen/diner and living room downstairs).

Reading not your strong point? 😂

The OP has 4 bedrooms. She doesn't need to use a downstairs room.

MeadAndPie · 12/09/2023 12:11

The older two will be entirely reasonable about it. We just need to manage the youngest.

Surely easiest thing is to talk it through with them but have then have the final say having taken any preferences into account.

It was easier for us even with uneven rooms as we had reasons for our choice - and even when IL tried to wade in and change our choice kids and us were happy with what we'd decided.

PickledPurplePickle · 12/09/2023 12:16

If they are all similar - stick them all in a hat and let them choose

If they don’t like their choice they can ask someone to swap but they can’t force someone to swap

FlowersareEverything · 12/09/2023 12:18

As the parent, I would simply allocate them each a bedroom. There’s really no need for angst about this.

Lelliekellie · 12/09/2023 15:15

Draw straws with the bedroom number assigned. Then no one gets the first choice etc. it’s a random allocation. Fun and no fighting x

TeenDivided · 12/09/2023 15:21

The 12yo has had the worst room for 12 years.
The 18yo has had the best room for 18 years.

Let the 12yo pick first, then the 16 then finally the 18.
I'm sure you can do up the rooms to suit.

Batatahara · 12/09/2023 15:27

TeenDivided · 12/09/2023 15:21

The 12yo has had the worst room for 12 years.
The 18yo has had the best room for 18 years.

Let the 12yo pick first, then the 16 then finally the 18.
I'm sure you can do up the rooms to suit.

Well yeah - it's not difficult for the 18 year old to be very reasonable when they get the best!

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 12/09/2023 15:28

I would allocate using some kind of logic. That’s what we did.
Eldest got the room in the annexe. It’s the second smallest room but it’s slightly separated and he was technically an adult.
Youngest got the biggest room as he was going to be home the most and for the longest. He had shared the most. 3rd got the smallest room because they had been the only one who had never had to share(it’s not tiny) . So 2nd got the second biggest room.

Saved arguments and they were all happy with their allocations. Just gave them each a good reason why they got that room.

JaukiVexnoydi · 12/09/2023 16:01

When this was our family it was:
Youngest gets the room nearest parents room as more likely to need parent contact.

Eldest gets to choose nicest out of the remaining 2 rooms

Middle child gets left with the scrag-end room that no one else wanted, but gets their room decorated first inc new custom furniture built, with other two having to wait years until parents recovered from the DIY efforts of that first attempt.

BIWI · 12/09/2023 16:04

I'm still amazed that you haven't taken them to see the house @NailyDale - surely that would make it easier for them to be involved in making the choice?

Throwncrumbs · 12/09/2023 16:10

So you have a boy and two girls, surely the girls share

TeenDivided · 12/09/2023 16:18

Throwncrumbs · 12/09/2023 16:10

So you have a boy and two girls, surely the girls share

No one needs to share. There are 4 bedrooms, 1 for the OP and then 3 for the 3 children.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2023 19:22

My DH was the meek middle child who was easy going and made his parents’ lives easy. His younger sister and older brother were far more hard work and got what they wanted. This meant he got a tiny room whilst his younger sister got an entire loft conversion and en-suite to herself.

If your middle DC always gives in, I’d let him choose first as your youngest will continue to learn to kick off and get what they want.

Original poster

NailyDale · 16/09/2023 08:03

We have resolution!

Eldest child has the largest bed and a big desk, so she gets the largest room. It's not much bigger tbh, and she'll struggle to fit her stuff in any of them.

Youngest child, for some reason, really wanted the slightly smaller back room which I'm happy about because it has a big cupboard for all her stuff.

Middle child gets the third room which neither of his sisters wanted (not big, no cupboard), and he is delighted because it's the room with the router so he can have a wire of internet which is much better for gaming (?? I'm hazy about the details of this but he's very happy.)

OP posts:

FTB2023 · 16/09/2023 08:06

Great result!
Enjoy your new home 😄

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/09/2023 09:41