Slim women. Do you work at it?

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I always thought slim women could just eat whatever they liked naturally. But looking at the eating habits of my slim friends, they don’t seem to eat whatever they like - they are constantly making healthy, low cal choices and I can’t shake the feeling it’s deliberate in order to stay slim, rather than them just actually fancying the lower cal option.

is this your experience? Is this what slim women have to do forever? When did you start doing this and do you find it easier now?

This is me too.

I'm not denying myself stuff, and if I fancy eating loads / something with high calories, I do. I just don't do it very often.

I agree that portion size is a big thing, even healthy foods that nourish your body and have multiple benefits can add up calorie wise and contribute to weight gain. One of my friends has lost 10 stone and was successful by reducing calories slowly rather than jumping straight to a defecit; wonder if it helped as it meant her stomach could readjust so didn't feel super hungry?

Some people can eat what they want and stay slim but I would think that's a very small percentage.

I was always slim (8 - 10) until I hit the menopause almost immediately after I had my second child. I piled weight on by eating the same things that I always had. I'm newly slim again now and I absolutely need to watch what I eat much more and make what I consider to be a more sensible choice when it comes to my weight and health. I don't want to be overweight again. I feel so much better now, both mentally but especially physically.

I agree with posters who way it's not that complicated, bit really isn't. I was overweight because I over ate. Now I don't. I eat when I'm hungry rather than eat out of habit which was my problem previously; see food, eat it, even if I wasn't actually hungry.

I’m slim and work at it, but I don’t deny myself unhealthy foods either. I do intermittent fasting and a stricter version Monday-Thursday and a more relaxed version Friday-Sunday. That way I can eat what I want and my weight stays the same if averaged out across the week.

i do eat cake, pizza etc if I feel like it but I am also a veggie loving vegetarian so my meals are usually quite low calorie anyway without me actively trying to make them so.

for me this works great as I am not denying myself anything and the fasting shrinks my stomach so I get full quicker and it doesn't lead to bingeing.

Basically yes. The only exception is if my gym and running routine is high. Basically avoid alcohol and keep portions small of everything. You do get used to it

I'm size 8

I'm 5ft 7 and size 12 and get called slim by everyone, that's because most people round here are 16/18 but lots of 20s too. I definitely have weight to lose.
MN is a different world to me! Hearing all these 30+ women talk of being size 8s.

It’s interesting isn’t it. 12 is fairly slim but round here, there are very few fat people. As a 10 I would say I’m pretty much bang on average and most women, whatever their age are no bigger than a 12 with the majority being smaller. But it’s an affluent area, I guess people generally eat well, there’s peer pressure to be thin, absolutely no question and pretty much everyone exercises as a default.

That's an interesting point actually, do you think that where someone lives/works is somewhat key to what is 'normal'? I guess it must be.

When I was overweight, I was very much in the minority where I live, but not where I work.

It's kind of either or round here. Overweight or scrawny, rather than slim. Having said that, slim is subjective and, interestingly, depending on eyesight. I'm slimmer before I put my contacts in. I'm 5'9 and 10-14, depending on where I shop (primark shorts 14). I'm slim in the Sophia Loren mould, but without the impressive rack anymore.

I am not exactly ‘slim’ but I am a healthy weight (just - top end of healthy BMI range).

I love food so I do have to try really hard to stay in this healthy range. I don’t do it by denying myself totally though (obviously - or I would be thinner). Luckily I don’t like breakfast and always have a small very healthy lunch which gives me some leeway at dinner to eat nicer stuff and bigger portions. I also hardly drink which helps hugely and I actively enjoy the gym.

It does impact. My birth country is among the slimmest in Europe, and being the equivalent of a British size 8 in your 30s isn’t at all unusual.

it’s not unusual in my social circle either, in the UK.

@Puffypuffin @whathappenedtosummer23 Definitely depends where you are don't it. I've visited Brighton and London and seen slim women everywhere.
I live in a Yorkshire village that isn't affluent, and work all over the place in Leeds and most women I come into contact with are at least a size 16.

Like you say, more pressure to stay slim in affluent areas, more into health and sport, more money for fruit and veg. Maybe more worries about partners leaving for other people so need to "stay attractive" (in their eyes) as they have more options to leave etc. Both men and women

Couples here both big and adore each other and stay together for life.

I'm glad I don't live somewhere with that pressure. But I do think their way of life is much better

@Disturbia81 People in London walk a lot. Watch at rush hour as women in smart office wear and trainers walk across London to their train station. Etc. Also the huge numbers who cycle miles to and from work. I know the public transport system is light years apart but I am always struck by the number of rural dwellers and regional town inhabitants who are car dependent for everything. Secondary school kids being ferried to and from school etc, my London kids walked, aged 4-18. It gets ingrained.

@EggInANest that is so true, I did so much more walking when I worked and lived in a city, I have to purposefully "go for a walk" now to get my steps in.

That's very true, I live in the countryside and walk everywhere and feel like the only one who does

Where I live most women (not all) are slim - it is a fairly affluent area. I do think people in general are getting larger though. It would depress the hell out of me to be big, so I do make the effort to remain slim (ish) without being ridiculous about it. I still have chocolate, crisps, alcohol etc., but in moderation and generally only at the weekends. Being healthier and exercising has definitely helped with peri symptoms too.

I think for me it’s easy-ish to stay slim. Obviously people put on a bit of weight but I don’t see people going from a 10 - 16. Much if it I think is what’s norm in your circle. If I meet people for a coffee, it’s for a coffee. It would be unheard of to have anything to eat with your coffee and people will go for a skinny or oat cappuccino, americano or fruit / herb tea. Rarely latte. If we meet for breakfast or lunch it would be scrambled or poached eggs and smoked salmon or avocado never a full English and 9/10 times it would be no toast. Likewise dinner mid week might be a starter to share plus a salmon / salad / chicken Shish / sushi with no dessert and often no rice extra salad with a “big” dinner out only on a Friday / Saturday night.

what people eat at home, I don’t know but if you pop over and someone offers you a cup of tea when they’ll ask if you’d like a biscuit rather than getting them out. It makes it relatively easy to probably limit calories to a certain extent.

likewise so many people have dogs that a lot of meet ups are dog walks. Also I wonder if not eating dinner too early makes a difference. If we eat at 7 we don’t eat after dinner. If I ate a 5/5.30 I’m certain I would

Where I live, people never stop talking about how slim I am.

That must be annoying.

I don't work at it anymore. In my youth I did spend a year anorexic and that's not something I want to revisit.

I genuinely don't like food. I don't mean that I dislike everything I eat; plenty of things are delicious. But prepping and eating food is an absolute chore that I would rather not do. So I do as little as I can get away with. I also hate the feeling of being too full, so that makes it easy to have small portions.

It took a little over a year after giving birth and I was back to my previous weight. I didn't try at all - my appetite naturally decreased as time went on. So I feel like it was a pretty healthy rate to lose that weight.

I live in an affluent area and most of my friends in their 50’s are very fit and slim . Running 1/2 marathons and marathons multiple times a year is the norm. Standing in their Lycra and sarconies at the school gate was the norm.
No one I know is ‘overweight’ where I live.
Children the same. My daughter was at private prep for primary and my friend and I observed how slender and athletic the children were up to year 6. The state school equivalent were flabby and out of condition. We put this down to the fact the private school had 2 afternoons a week purely on sport from 2pm to 5 pm. Many children swam early mornings. Mum’s also invited in to work out or play netball. In short, a very active lifestyle is encouraged. Kids in state sector get just 2 hours a week. Dreadful. This is where it starts. From a young age my Dad ate healthily and I followed. I also was very sporty to a high level. However I’m 5 feet 2 which means every pound shows. I struggle a lot and have to eat barely nothing to be slender looking. My kids are so fit looking but as an over 50 I’m always conscious of losing it and have to think very carefully about everything I choose to eat and drink. Sometimes though I say just fuck it all and enjoy myself! If I didn’t let my hair down at times I’d go bloody mad.

I think rather than being a state / private thing it’s more about affluence and expectation. My eldest was at a state primary and the sport provision was woeful but he and all his friends did football training once a week, matches once a week, swimming lessons every week and he also did cricket and tennis not to mention he played football 24/7 and we had a garden where not only was he footballing but jumping on the trampoline. He then did sports camps most holidays.

I think this often sets them up for life. He’s 21 now and still plays for 2 football teams, trains in the gym 3-4 times a week and runs. My daughter is at a private school so is forced to do sport twice a week which she hates but plays football out of school, coaches sport and goes to the gym 4-5 times a week and trains heavy weights. Her social life is based around going to the gym. She’ll often book a court for a game of tennis too

it’s innate in them and it’s because they had that exposure as small children and it’s what they see. They see most of the mums they know doing gym, running, pilates and tennis and most of the 50 something men still running, gym, football, weights and golf even though they all have knackered knees and shoulders. Even this doesn’t stop them because affluence buys private health care so they get operated on and physio when they need it so there’s rarely long periods where they’re too injured to train

all of this has to go some way to understanding why there’s such a weight divide and it’s as much lifestyle as diet

I had a similar experience. I was discussing Gousto meals with my NCT friends and a couple of them said they buy the boxes but for four people rather than two. Apparently the normal portions are too small so they eat double and so does their DP!

One of them complains frequently about not having lost the baby weight yet, she doesn’t seem to have made the link though.

it’s innate in them and it’s because they had that exposure as small children and it’s what they see.

This is learned behaviour which is not innate (born with).

and very rude. Who talks all the time about other people's sizes?