Slim women. Do you work at it?

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I always thought slim women could just eat whatever they liked naturally. But looking at the eating habits of my slim friends, they don’t seem to eat whatever they like - they are constantly making healthy, low cal choices and I can’t shake the feeling it’s deliberate in order to stay slim, rather than them just actually fancying the lower cal option.

is this your experience? Is this what slim women have to do forever? When did you start doing this and do you find it easier now?

I think attitudes to food are based on family background and also generational patterns. If your ancestors were hungry and poor, leaving food is extremely wasteful. You eat what you can get and as much of it as you can. High carb food and sugar are cheap ways to get quick energy. That would have been important in earlier times. War time attitudes to food also still inform our eating habits. Sweets
and cakes are a treat and an indulgence. If you get a chance to have them, grab it. Don’t leave food on your plate because there is never enough.

my daughter has quite different attitudes to food than me. She’s never eaten everything on her plate. When she’s had enough, she stops. I don’t. I can’t leave food, and I eat too much, although l don’t snack and don’t like junk food. She has always been slim and I’ve always struggled with my weight.

I am slim (40, size 8), and don’t think a lot about what I eat- I do pretty much eat what I want. I don’t think I’m particularly healthy. I seem to fairly naturally eat around the amount I need to maintain my weight over a week or so- so if I have a big meal and then pudding and then something else because I’m still hungry- I’ll do that without worry, and then the day after or maybe a few days after I’ll realise I skipped lunch and don’t really fancy a big dinner- I won’t be consciously deciding to do that, my appetite just seems to work that way. (I am not saying this is a healthy way to be. I am aware this sounds really smug too, I would never say it in real life- just a genuine perspective).

I'm an 8.

I eat whatever I fancy but I don't eat loads of it.

I exercise at least 3x a week, usually more.

I was chubby in my late teens but figured out what worked for me after that and have been considered slim since.

My mum is slim though and as a family we are all active.

I overeat when dh cooks

I think this may be my problem, or part of it.

I have gained a lot of weight in the last 18 months and the time period coincides with when DH retired early and assumed all cooking duties. He would plate up two identically sized meals. Fine, except that he is nearly a foot taller than me and weighs probably twice what I do (did). Now he lets me serve myself and I am back to eating less overall.

If she is very overweight she can have a smaller waist - if she wants. Perhaps not as small as poster but smaller nonetheless.

I was watching my diet last year & was slim.
This year, I wasn’t & I’m fatter, no surprise…

I really have loved reading these posts. Very helpful. Most of the slim women do not diet and eat what they want which is fantastic.

we should gather all the best
advice here into a MN manual on healthy eating and body image. On the whole the ideas are far healthier than most diet books.

Always been skinny, I graze food, proper meal about 5ish, but im always picking at something.
However I walk everywhere, and find it hard to sit still for any length of time, so I seem to unconsciously balance myself out.

Size 8 here but I come from a family of small framed people. Vegetarian for 25 years, so I eat very little fatty food, though I've never been a particularly healthy eater either. Lots of carbs in my diet. I bike too and from work every day though, 6 mile round trip. Don't drive, so biking or walking. I also never really stop, from the moment I get up at 6am til around now when I just sat down.

What you've said illustrates exactly that people who are genetically slim don't realise how easy it is for them. You have reduced your chips to only 3 times as week. Your puddings are smaller and you cut back on bread. Haaaahaaa. I don't know when I last had a pudding. Chips don't occur in my life ever. I work out with a trainer so properly hard 6 x a week. If I go out which is rare, I have one course. When at hike I eat one main meal and one small meal. They are based on protein and vege.

I was around 7 stone until menopause. I never dieted, ate puddings and cakes when I wanted but I was always on the go, walked a lot and rarely sat still for long.

Due to eating disorders I've been a size 20 and a size 6 and am now a healthy 'slim' size 8-10. For me, that's the size I am when I'm not bingeing or starving myself. People at work, who don't know my history, recently asked me what my 'secret' was to staying slim. For me, I'm slim when I eat what I want then stop when I'm full. I don't want to overeat. I don't really get how people can enjoy overeating. So no, I don't work at it as such. If I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full I stay slim. (Recovering from the eating disorders, on the other hand, was a hell of a lot of work).

I also love running and do that 3x a week. I don't do it to stay slim so don't consider it 'working at it', but I guess someone else might consider it work!

I'm a size 6, over 40, and I genuinelly don't look at what I eat. I naturally eat quite healthy but can have days where I'm just going to order a pizza or chips.
Some days I eat a lot, some days I eat less. It's not really a conscious choice, it's just my body regulating itself I guess.

The one thing that I don't do is snacking. It's never been a thing for me. If I'm hungry, I'd rather wait to have a proper meal than snacking. And if I'm not hungry, I just don't fancy eating at all.
I'm quite binary really.

Yes this can sometimes be the case, the people I know who don't have to work on their eating just naturally move a lot. Always pacing, dancing around, fidgeting, anxious minds.

It’s very much down to what you consider ‘working at it’. My diet and exercise patterns are just part of my lifestyle that have been ingrained in me from being a child - I don’t ‘work at’ doing what I’ve always done.

Someone else would look at what I do and consider that working for it, because for them it would require making a lifestyle switch in order to adopt different habits.

I agree with this. I love my sport. It's not work for me. Others remark on it. Obviously it helps to keep me slim.

Some people can eat whatever they want and not gain weight, it really is a thing. My DH is frustratingly one of those people, he eats so much food and just never gains any weight. I like to think it will catch up with him when he’s middle aged but his parents are both slim so I think it’s just genetic. He’s a total couch potato too so it isn’t because he’s particularly active.

My Dad started to struggle with his weight from middle age and has been overweight ever since (has the classic beer belly). Mum has ALWAYS been on a diet my whole life, she yo-yo’s constantly and has varied from very slim to overweight her whole life. I have to work hard to stay slim, I walk on average 20k steps a day, run 3x a week and lift weights 3x a week. It’s the only way I can keep the weight off and stay this size, if I drop my exercise regime down a bit I gain a few pounds.

@paradoxically2 and? When did I say I have no idea what it's like for larger women? I know quite a few who are larger than me with a healthier diet. Some exercise loads too which I don't.

It's nothing personal. In the same way some people are naturally prettier. Or taller. Or have nicer teeth etc.

We are all born equal. I told my truth, should I feel bad for being able to eat chips three times a week (I don't most weeks to be fair, but always once and usually oven chips) and still being slim?

It’s all relative. I’m a size 10, but have more wobble than I used to, so don’t really feel slim. I know I’m not fat! I do work to maintain this weight and actually enjoy eating healthily. I do have treats as well, but don’t go crazy with them or I feel bloated and miserable. When I was younger it took no effort whatsoever, but I was sporty and fit in my teens which probably helped. My DH seems to have no ability to moderate (or ever feel full) and is a bit overweight because of that.

Ok maybe I am missing something but since when has an 8-10 not been slim?

8-10 maybe, but at a size 10 I’m overweight according to the BMI scale.

I look it too.

Some people can eat whatever they want and not gain weight, it really is a thing.

There was a really interesting programme on C4 about this, they followed a group of slim women who seemingly ate what they wanted, but when the calories and activity were factored in, they were well within limits. One woman ate fast food everyday, McDonald's, KFC, you name it, but she was filmed and she never actually finished the food, she sometimes only took a few bits! Her calories were within a healthy range.

The truth is "what people want" varies, I can eat what I want and whilst I can get a bit chubby top end of healthy BMI, ultimately, I naturally self regulate and "what I want" looks very different to overweight friends I have who eat more than I would fancy.

(Just want to add though they were all pre menopausal, as am I)

Ok maybe I am missing something but since when has an 8-10 not been slim? Some of these posts

I'm that size at 5ft 6. I don't feel slim at all, I can see there's fat that doesn't need to be there.

I always find definition of slim interesting too on MN. To me slim is when you're a healthy weight that perhaps doesn't define you in any meaningful way, it's not the most noticeable thing about you, you might not have a body to die for or be "skinny" there may well be some lumpy bits, it's a step bigger than skinny, but only one notch down from medium sized. If I was having to describe a woman to the police, I suspect I would use slim where some people here wouldn't.