Do you live a more conventional life than you envisaged?

[Agesandageshence]

I didn't ever think I would live so conventionally. I didn't think I would be special, famous or achieve great things or anything like that, but thought I'd live a little differently.

Eg, there is a whole world yet I live in one place. Or how we live with such poor work life balance. And a big mortgage.

It's difficult to step away from the norm though and would I really want to? I don't know why/how I thought I would.

Anyone else ever think like this? I don't think I'd say this to people in real life! I imagine eye rolling.

Interesting thread.

I had a pretty conventional life until recently - married, mortgage, 3 dc, teacher for almost 15 years. At the end of 2021 I quit my teaching job and withdrew the dc from school to home Ed. Now, we are travelling around Europe until December. I’m trying to figure out next steps when we get home. There are lovely things about conventional and unconventional lifestyles, and life is short. I like the idea of running my own business or creating a family business. But I also wonder that I could go back to teaching and spend the holidays travelling with the DC.

I totally think this! Like pp, our living overseas (etc) was curtailed by family ill health - that was over 20 years ago and I don't think I even started to come to terms with the new, semi-rural, PT WFH parenting life until covid and my own (non-covid) ill health. My teenage self would be horrified.

But now everyone is either stable for now - or dead - and dd is off to uni. And frankly, I want my life back. I'm not 100% sure what exactly that will look like gong forward - but I feel it very strongly. It's as though I've been playing a role playing game for 2 decades - and the game's over.

Missed there were more messages. How exciting to be travelling Europe @WhileIBreathIHope.

I wonder what reclaiming your life will look like @Acinonyx2. Do you have any ideas?

I said I’d never marry or have children and that I’d travel the world and never live in one set place. I also dreamed of being an actress.

I’m a married uni lecturer with 5 children and a mortgage… I never did travel the world either, the annual holiday has to do.

Yes - totally. I thought I’d have travelled widely and be living a Good Life kind of life on an island in the Pacific somewhere. Maybe when I retire!

A million percent 😁

I have kids, a mortgage, a fairly ordinary job, holiday a couple of times a year, meal plan etc etc...

I'm not a reporter in a war zone or a best selling novelist. I don't have cocktails in fancy restaurants after a day spent 'closing deals' (whatever that means). I don't sleep with several different men, and no one fights over me (except for v loud children). I don't live in a yurt, I don't live off the land, I pay taxes. 13 - 17 year old me would be shocked and more than a little disappointed.

I am very happy, and have a life full of love and happiness, so there we go!

Yes, much more conventional and also doing the job I don't want to do. It was safe choice that my mum persuaded. I'm doing my best to change things, career-wise. I never wanted crazy and adventurous personal life, but never dreamed of having boring office job. Ugh.

Going against the grain but my ideal life was always to get married, have kids and be a SAHM. I fully pictured the business-suited husband, two beautiful kids, golden retriever and Range Rover. Thought I’d be the mom always glammed up on the school run, always on the go.

I’m not married (yet), have no children (yet), am facing multiple health issues and work full time in quite a demanding career with a clear progression plan. My ideal life is still the above, but I definitely didn’t think I’d be as successful in my career, or facing health problems. Despite this, conventional was always my “goal”.

Even as a child, my most ambitious thought was “maybe I’d like to be a vet” but then I realized I’d have to PTS animals and couldn’t cope with that, so changed my mind to an office job. I’ve always wanted the typical 9-5, no weekends, boring job.

I never liked to travel, found it too stressful. I much prefer a “staycation”, and have never been outside the country. I don’t plan on changing this anytime soon.

So yeah, I never had these ideas of traveling the world, or becoming the best of the best in any particular field. I’ve always wanted what others consider “boring”

I always thought I'd get married and have kids but have chosen to do neither (though do have a long term partner).

@Mimmy352 I find your post quite interesting, I think 'conventional' depends on your perspective as well.
I wouldn't find your ideal life wildly 'unconventional' but it wouldn't be 'normal' for me. Women in my family have always worked (have to!) the idea of actually having time to be glammed and a Range Rover is wowz!

One thing is certain after growing up and seeing all there is in the world, the conventional life= happiness isn't easy to achieve either. So much anger, hate, loneliness, instability. We weren't rich but we never wanted for food nor love, yes I struggled when I first arrived in the U.K which made me more money driven but compared to many my life has been okay so far. Older and wiser, I think having been content, for most of it is a much, much more difficult achievement than travelling the world.

I have met many who have done 'great' things but so few who are actually content with life as it is.

As Pam said in 'The Office'... there is great beauty in the ordinary.

Yes, definitely. But I also didn't really think it through when I was young. I wanted to wander the world but also have lots of animals... those two things don't really fit together! I did travel a lot when I was younger and lived in a couple of different countries and have now settled on the opposite side of the Atlantic with a husband, two kids and a pile of horses, dogs and a cat. And I have to work to support all of those mouths so not exactly leading the nomadic, free life I envisioned, but also I think it's the best possible life I could have.

There's a lot to be said for boring and conventional.

I envisaged that I'd be leading a more conventional life than I do now. I thought I'd have a high powered career, 2.4 kids, my own home, horses. I ended up changing religion, marrying someone from across the world, having a child with life long disabilities and being a full time carer. We'll never get on the property ladder. But life is good, so no complaints.