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Original poster

Saddened by this

107 replies

Shocked193731 · 08/09/2023 21:29

My friend who is 8 months pregnant had to get the train somewhere earlier this week. She walked down the whole aisle, obviously very visibly heavily pregnant, and not one person offered her a seat. After then standing around, eventually somebody - who was sitting on a window seat (!!!) - gave it up to her.

Visibly pregnant, in this very hot weather, and she said that everybody just chose to ignore her. Not only does this make me sad but also really angry.

Please, if you can and you see a pregnant woman struggling, give your seat to her without hesitation.

OP posts:
ActDottie · 08/09/2023 21:59

it is sad but in this situation I’d ask someone in the priority seats to move

im currently pregnant and can’t stand on trains as I’ll likely vomit and despite being 20+ weeks and I’d ask someone to move if no one offered

Jk987 · 08/09/2023 22:02

I can guarantee the majority of people on that train would have gladly given up their seat. All she had to do was ask.

Chiswickgal · 08/09/2023 22:04

DustyLee123 · 08/09/2023 21:38

Call me old fashioned, but I find it sad that men don’t walk on the outside of the pavement etc anymore.

My OH still does !!

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Families
justanothermanicmonday1 · 08/09/2023 22:04

jugggugg · 08/09/2023 21:59

Was very heavily pregnant all summer and chose not to travel much on public transport for this reason. Not every disability you can see, so you can't expect anyone to offer their seat when you have no clue. I simply got a taxi for comfort or asked DP or family members.

You're aware that most people don't get their partner or dad to drive them to work, friends etc or take a cab? A cab to my job would cost £55 a day & my DH has a job...

Well luckily I wasn't talking about you wasn't I? I was talking about my experience, and I was simply making a point that there are other options out there. If you don't have other options, then simply ask someone to stand so you can have a seat. Simple.

cocksstrideintheevening · 08/09/2023 22:04

Did she pay for a reservation? Was it xc? I don't notice other people on my commute but if they asked of course I'd give it uo.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 08/09/2023 22:05

Jk987 · 08/09/2023 22:02

I can guarantee the majority of people on that train would have gladly given up their seat. All she had to do was ask.

Exactly! 👏

Cheeseandlobster · 08/09/2023 22:06

Viviennemary · 08/09/2023 21:43

I wouldn't have travelled in her position. I don't think it's realistic to expect people to give up their seat. They might well have a disability themselves.

What the whole train?

BIossomtoes · 08/09/2023 22:07

DustyLee123 · 08/09/2023 21:33

Out of interest only, had the other people reserved their seats ?

Does having a reservation make it impossible to offer your seat to a pregnant woman?

jugggugg · 08/09/2023 22:10

Well luckily I wasn't talking about you wasn't I? I was talking about my experience, and I was simply making a point that there are other options out there. If you don't have other options, then simply ask someone to stand so you can have a seat. Simple.

You talked about what you did & extrapolated that to the OP & others. I would argue it's more common for pregnant women to use public transport than take cabs or get lifts so no I wasn't just talking about myself. It's not practical for most to avoid public transport!

I don't disagree with you re asking for a seat but you made no mention of that in the post I replied too...

tinytemper66 · 08/09/2023 22:11

DustyLee123 · 08/09/2023 21:38

Call me old fashioned, but I find it sad that men don’t walk on the outside of the pavement etc anymore.

My husband does this and it drives me insane. I am more than capable of walking on the outside. Bugs the shit out of me.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 08/09/2023 22:13

jugggugg · 08/09/2023 22:10

Well luckily I wasn't talking about you wasn't I? I was talking about my experience, and I was simply making a point that there are other options out there. If you don't have other options, then simply ask someone to stand so you can have a seat. Simple.

You talked about what you did & extrapolated that to the OP & others. I would argue it's more common for pregnant women to use public transport than take cabs or get lifts so no I wasn't just talking about myself. It's not practical for most to avoid public transport!

I don't disagree with you re asking for a seat but you made no mention of that in the post I replied too...

I think it pretty much goes without saying...... if you're that heavily pregnant and are that uncomfortable, ask someone for a seat.

Veryverycalmnow · 08/09/2023 22:19

It is just common sense and kindness to offer a heavily pregnant woman a seat. I passed out when commuting on a busy train when I was pregnant. I'm surprised people are saying she shouldn't have travelled and that people must not have seen or noticed her.
Most people check the people around them instinctively. I think at least someone was being selfish. I hope she has better luck next time she has to commute. It will be cooler soon.

jugggugg · 08/09/2023 22:20

I think it goes without saying that most people cant cab it to work when pregnant but 🤷🏻‍♀️. Who knows the OPs friend might find it a useful suggestion...

Sidebeforeself · 08/09/2023 22:22

Yes maybe some people were being selfish..but OP is asking us all as if we are all guilty

NotMyDayJob · 08/09/2023 22:23

God there are some awful people online tonight. If you see someone on a train heavily pregnant (or elderly, or with a broken leg etc etc) the decent thing to do is to offer them a seat.

Yes they could ask, but you know what it's really intimidating asking an entire carriage of someone can give you a seat (and I say that as someone who had to do it in July on the central line on a regular basis).

It's just the decent thing and all this, your husband could give you a lift, or you could get a taxi nonsense, someone is usually on public transport in this weather because they don't have other options.

I'm so fed up with people making excuses for appalling behaviour.

Tiredmum100 · 08/09/2023 22:26

BIossomtoes · 08/09/2023 22:07

Does having a reservation make it impossible to offer your seat to a pregnant woman?

Show quote history

I got kicked out of a reserved seat on a train at 7.5 months pregnant. I think when I stood up, showing a massive bump (big baby) the person felt a bit guilty but she had reserved the seat, so I guess I was the CF in this instance. She didn't let me sit back down 😂

Mummypete · 08/09/2023 22:26

I might have been the person who gave up the window seat. I was sat on a table of 4 and opposite was another table of 4 with 3 adult men sat there. As soon as a saw a very visibly pregnant lady standing there I offered my seat but then was shocked none of the men offered theirs or the person sat next to me on the aisle which would have been much easier.
As it happened, my neighbour got up to let me out, let the pregnant lady in and then sat back down again!

readbooksdrinktea · 08/09/2023 22:29

She should have asked.

Metatarse · 08/09/2023 22:30

I agree with giving up a seat. I've find it a lot and I've even done it on a plane, so someone with younger kids got to sit by their whole family and I left mine with dh.

But I don't think I've ever thought about the pavement/ Road thing. I always just assumed the one facing traffic took the road.

BIossomtoes · 08/09/2023 22:30

readbooksdrinktea · 08/09/2023 22:29

She should have asked.

She shouldn’t have to.

Original poster
Shocked193731 · 08/09/2023 22:31

@NotMyDayJob I couldn’t have put it better myself.

I am shocked at how many people are saying “she should have asked” and “she shouldn’t have travelled”. And people saying they don’t notice others on their commute? Rubbish.

No, she shouldn’t have been put in a position where her only option was to ask for a seat.

If it was you @Mummypete, thank you.

OP posts:
Floopyfloop · 08/09/2023 22:34

Humans are getting less and less compassionate since covid and it’s sad.

Last week, I fell off a bike while on a ride my knee is so swollen and bruised that I can’t bend it. I went to catch a train with my daughter yesterday and there are 10 seats in the station and we had a 10 minute wait.

I blatantly hobbled into the station really slowly one leg completely straight. At least half the people sitting looked up and then watched me stand there for the whole time.

Granted some of them may have physical limitations but not all of them and not a single one asked if I wanted to sit.

TheDogsMother · 08/09/2023 22:36

DustyLee123 · 08/09/2023 21:38

Call me old fashioned, but I find it sad that men don’t walk on the outside of the pavement etc anymore.

Awww my DH does this and opens doors for me. Before anyone leaps on I'm very much a feminist and into equality but lovely manners are so nice to see.

Equally I will always give up a seat to someone who needs it more and will hold doors open.

toadasoda · 08/09/2023 22:42

TyrannasaurusJex · 08/09/2023 21:48

I once got on a full train (seat reservations broken) on crutches with my leg in a cast and no one offered me their seat. I stood at the end of the carriage and tried not to cry for half an hour until the ticket inspector came along, gave everyone a bollocking and then took me to first class 😀 worked out in the end but made me really sad about humanity (which I'm normally very positive about).

Something similar happened to me on a bus. I was the first and only person standing and kept looking around to see if there was a seat and lots of people just stared at me. I had to move about halfway down to stand safely. My cheeks were burning with the humiliation..... but then I did something really childish. When it came to my stop I was the only one getting out and I made this huge drama of not being able to walk properly and made the fuckers all sit and watch me limp very very slowly to the steps and very very slowly down the steps, pausing between each one.

sezzer87 · 08/09/2023 22:42

Yes society has changed for the worse since 'equality' and 'feminism' came about.
All we're left with is a society of people who don't know how to honour and protect women and babies.