Does anyone enjoy having teenagers? Prefer it to having little kids?

[Fishandchipsatthebeach]

All I hear is negativity and how it gets harder once they are teens.

I’m a mum to a 5 year old.

Does anyone actually prefer having teens to little kids?!

Oh God, yes
It's not without its stresses obviously but they are fun to ge around and genuinely interesting people

It's easier in the sense they are (mostly) more independent so you can have that lie in etc
It's harder because their attitudes absolutely suck and they can be incredibly vile about anyone and everything (including you)

Also don't get me started on the added worries, so you worry about everything you do with a baby/toddler/child but then add on the worries of more extreme bullying (again teens are horrible to each other), drugs, smoking, underage drinking, underage sex, sexual assaults, grooming, Internet dangers, mental health and suicide etc etc and you'll find yourself in a revolving door of constant anxiety and worry.

Mum to a 14 year old boy.

Every stage of growing up has its ups and downs, of course, but I've always found that the best stage has always been the one they are in currently. 😊There are always things to enjoy and celebrate about where they are now whilst also looking back at the challenges they presented in the past, and the fond memories of their cuteness when they were smaller.
Having said that, I didn't enjoy the baby stage at the time it was happening, particularly first time around, but looking back I'm filled with nostalgia. I'm wishing that they don't grow up any more at the same time as being excited to find out who they're going to be when they're all grown up. The parenting dichotomy!
So OP, always just enjoy them as they are now 🙂

So glad I read some of these replies, they have given me some hope. I currently have an almost 2 year old, a 4 year old and a 6 year old. It is beyond a challenge every single day. Even as I type this my almost 2 year old has just started randomly throwing all this toys with sudden anger and grabbing things he really shouldn't have (my glasses and moisturisier) and that's not even the half of it. Wrestling them into car seats, fighting them to get dressed and brush their teeth, trying to guess what they want all the time to keep them happy, then them changing their minds a second later, the battles are endless and so exhausting!

Gosh , I am definitely in the minority. Just this morning my 14 year old called me a " fucking idiot" because I wouldn't let her use the hair straighteners literally 4 minutes before the bus was coming .

Little one are physically harder and teens are mentally harder

The worry with teens at times can be all Consuming. The ups are fabulous tho.

Those that have had an easy ride should Consider themselves Lucky and please
Don't judge those that
Have not had it So easy with teens. You Never know what's round the next corner.

I've had it differently with both DC.

DS was a nightmare. I won't go into details but I ended up on ADs it was that bad. He is 19 now and things are much more settled and we have a much better relationship. We laugh together a lot, like the same sort of comedy, cook together. He's becoming like a friend to me which is lovely.

DD is just a delight, she is 14 and has never given me a moments bother. She is hard working, loves school and has the best sense of humour.

I loved the little years and often look back and wish they were tiny again but overall I'm now really enjoying these years as they are older.

Last weekend I took DS13 to Bristol, we ate Lebanese and Caribbean food and went to a festival where we watched Aphex Twin conduct a sonic assault on the crowd until late in the evening. He loved it. Yesterday we went snorkeling together, and he's touchingly delighted that I'm into one of the physical activities that he is (I'm not into skating or cycling). It's brilliant to have a child old enough to do things you genuinely enjoy with. I still shudder at the memory of the crushing boredom of playgrounds.

I think that the people that say they prefer small children are the kind that love being depended on and being in control of everything. I can't think of anything worse than providing endless drinks and helping get endless shoes on.

Ridiculous comment about people who prefer small children. God, why does everything have to turn into an issue ? Everyone's different and evey child is different .

Now, now. Where would MN be if we didn't fabricate tenuous grounds for superiority based on the minor differences and preferences between ourselves and other people?

Now, now. Where would MN be if we didn't fabricate tenuous grounds for superiority based on the minor differences and preferences between ourselves and other people?

😁

Anecdatally, I have some lovely friends who found early years a breeze and are struggling with difficult to control teens. With them it’s definitely a structure/routine/control thing.

It’s why they were such brilliant parents when the DC were smaller. Everything was planned and stuck to, boundaries were firm, children knew exactly what was coming etc.

Some teens are more malleable than others. Some life situations are different to others. Etc.

But also some parents find early years parenting easier and teen parenting harder and vice versa.

Personally I find teens easier as the parenting fits with my natural style more - I longed for spontaneity when they were little and we all relish it now.

Structure and routine are what work for early years parenting and some parents find this comes naturally - and others like me felt a small part of me die each day from it. I imagine the spontaneous shifting nature of parenting teens feels similar to the parents for whom structure and routine come naturally.

No I preferred them when they were small. I had 3 under 3 and I knew where they were all the time. Having 3 teenagers together going out in all directions was stressful. Not to mentions the lifts and dropping them off everywhere. They are 21/20/18 now and one is married with a baby on the way. The two that's still at home drive me mad I can't wait for them to go. Living with adult kids is no fun.

”likes control” and “like small children” are completely contrary surely? Or am I the only one whose had to relinquish all control to them?

I honestly thought you had this the wrong way round? Tantrums and unbroken sleep for teenagers. (Unbroken sleep why??) Screaming quietly in to a pillow?

Toddlers being funny and bright.

How individual experiences differ guess.

Unless this post is a joke!

It's like every stage, it comes with its positives and also some challenges.

Personally I would not want to swap my teen for a 0-5 child now. Noooo way.

Teens can be very challenging. They don't need as much looking after of course, but they can bring a lot of worry. They grow up very fast and you can't protect them from everything in the way that you can a younger child.

Of course they can be moody, selfish, lazy. They can be frustrating. It also tends to come at a time when you might be a bit older yourself, having aging parents, find yourself feeling a bit lost at your role as a parent.

But no, it's not really so bad. Teens can be incredibly helpful, good company, achieve brilliant things.

I have 2 teens and no way would I want little ones again, they are both independent funny kind people (age 14 and 15), my husband and I also have our lives back again. We can do date night, lie in bed watching a movie with a bottle of wine on a wet miserable day. Holidays are so easy as they are both sociable and make friends easily, in fact this year we barely saw them, we’d have breakfast and evening meal together but the rest of the time they were off having fun with their new mates. They also have a great bunch of friends who feel like extended family (they let themselves in, grab food snacks etc, join us if we are having a family party - a reciprocal arrangement occurs with their friends family). The only downside is they cost a mountain to feed and I often feel like a taxi service! My siblings both have young kids and I always leave theirs thinking how pleased I am to be over that stage!

Do you sleep happily when they are out?
I never really rest til they come home, sometimes 1-2 am.

Teenagers are amazing, absolutely relishing the teenage years, I'm a much better mum to Teenagers than I was when they were younger.

Teenagers are great and I come at it from 2 perspectives, I used to work with the hardest to help young people and I am the owner of 2, they are funny, curious, determined creatures who are desperately trying to be grown ups but actually just want a hug (but will NEVER tell you that or let you have a hug for much of the time 😁), they can be grumpy and unreasonable but they are literally a work in progress. I bloody love teenagers. It's a different stage of life to tiny tots which were equally fascinating just in a different way, I still mourn the day my now 14 year old learnt to say 'octopus' properly (happily she still calls spicy food 'spiky' food)

Absolutely not a joke.

I couldn't sleep properly when my teens were out - they sometimes didn't come back until 4 or 5AM (and, on one memorable occasion, one didn't come home at all, and I had to call the police out. She rocked up all smiles at 9AM and said she didn't know what I was worrying about).

One of mine had quite serious MH problems and an eating disorder.

This makes our family life sound chaotic, but that's far from the case - we're a "nice middle class family". It's just that some teenagers are more challenging than others.

One of my DC was a "terrible toddler". I still found toddlers easier and more fun than teenagers.

It's very off-pissing to hear people saying that people who like toddlers just enjoy being in control.

Everyone is different, and has different experiences.

I found the first 5 years of parenting pretty tough and relentless, not helped that my mum died within that time. But since youngest has been about 3, I've enjoyed most - not all ( I'm not a Saint!! ) stages of parenting. DD went through an uncommunicative stage in early teens but that coincided with covid/lockdowns. DS is nearly 14 and definitely noticed some moodiness but nothing too awful so far...
(The teenage boys room smell has yet to develop but I'm anticipating it with dread...😳🤣)

What a lovely thread 😍 thank you to all the positive mums out there! I have a 9 year old and this makes me excited for what’s to come!

Mine are still young but my nephew is an absolutely fantastic 14 year old. Sporty, smart, helpful, kind, lovely group of friends, will pick up shopping for his gran on the way home from school, is sometimes a bit daft but nothing to split hairs over. My DB can be proud of him and I hope mine turn out similar.