Monstrosity of a meal

[Jumping2feet]

I was going to eat prawn salad for dinner. Delicious and easy.

Then I saw the purple sprouting broccoli and mushrooms I bought last week. So I decided to cook pasta and use up the veg. In my head this would all go with pesto and a bit of chilli. It doesn't. I haven't eaten it. It's vile. Never mind the waste which I can't even think about. So now dinner is a bottle of beer. Thankfully only myself to please.

What monstrosities have others created that should never have seen the light of day?

@BogRollBOGOF aargh!!

I was in our new Lidl recently and they had Polish ravioli. I got the veggie option next to the meat ones, served them up with garlic and olive oil, parmesan cheese on top.

They were some weird sweet variety coated in icing sugar?? YukyukYuk.

Undaunted, the kids dusted them off, re-fried them in butter and ate them anyway.

Dsis and I were sent to stay with a friend of my mum for a couple of weeks (I think she offered, so mum and dad could have a couple of teenager free weeks - we went for three or four summers on the trot).

This friend was a good cook, but all leftovers were refrigerated, and every Friday she served Scraps Dinner and Scraps pudding - basically all the leftovers shared out between us all - a plateful of savoury leftovers with the sweet leftovers for pudding. This was to clear out the fridge before the weekly shop was done on Saturday. It made for some interesting combinations. She once made a tea that was bread and butter, spread with a variety of toppings - open sandwiches, basically - made with marmite, fish paste, chocolate spread etc. The next day, the leftovers were made into a picnic by being put together into actual sandwiches. This worked OK - apart from the chocolate spread and Marmite sandwiches, which happened because they looked similar!

We bought a slow cooker last year, and dh made a beef and red wine casserole in it, but cooked it on low, and didn't give it long enough to cook. The wine was basically raw, the beef was stringy and tough, and the carrots and onions still had bite to them, instead of melt in the mouth beef in a rich wine gravy.

This reminds me of when I was in Poland and very hungry, so went into a bakery to get something for lunch.

They spoke no English and I speak no Polish -- but I did recognise the Polish word for "cheese" next to some bread rolls. I assumed this referred to the cream cheese I could see on the top.

Nope. The cheese was inside and the topping was some sort of sweet icing (the bread was also sweet). My tastebuds are tough but my god, that went straight into the bin and I stayed hungry that lunchtime!

15 years ago when I was at Uni, Tesco substituted my peppers for apples, so I made apple fajitas!!

Years ago I made a Gillian McKeith green lentil casserole because DH and I were on a health kick. I spent hours chopping, sautéing and seasoning only to end up with what I can only describe as looking like a pile of vomit on a plate 🤢
DH took one look at it and refused to touch it. I tried it and was actually surprised that it tasted ok, but I couldn’t get past the idea that I was eating sick!

A friend of mine thought fried eggs would go nicely with a melted chocolate sauce.

They did not.

My own worst disaster was a vegetable curry that should have been perfectly adequate. Unfortunately one of the ingredients was a squash that turned out to have the cucurbitacin glitch that means it can cause toxic squash syndrome (this was before it was a well known issue).

I have no idea how anybody ever ends up with the syndrome, because even through the curry spices it immediately tasted Very Wrong Indeed.