I have just made butter...

[CurlewKate]

...and yesterday I made vanilla extract. I have never felt more like a parody of myself.

I have a kit for making bacon, but I've been waiting to use it until my nephew kills a pig. I don't think making stuff is wanky, it's creative, fun and the stuff is mostly much better than anything you can buy.
Tonight I am enjoying everything, because I've been bottling my homemade alcoholic ginger beer and sampling a bit for quality control. 'slovely! I'm pretty sure my home brewing abilities were what first attracted my husband to me, 30 years ago.
Peak wankiness for us this year was growing four colours of cauliflower. We had white ones, orange ones, two kinds of green ones (pointy and smooth) and purple ones. We produce a huge amount of cauliflower this year and will fart like elephants all winter because of it!

I bought DH a bacon making kit for Christmas a few years ago but he never did it and I think it got chucked out when we replaced the kitchen. We have got a sushi making kit somewhere but I don't think that really qualifies.

That reminds me, something to do with your butter, chicken liver paté.

1-2 tubs of frozen chicken livers
butter
seasoning Ijust use salt and pepper but you can add dried herbs
glug of brandy (optional)
onion

Defrost the chicken livers
peel and chop the onion and fry with the chicken livers in lots of butter, lots - about 50% butter and 50% the other ingredients.

Once cooked pour into a blender and whizz - it looks disgusting at this stage but that is normal.

Pour into bowl / ramekins / dish and put in the fridge over night.

I'd love to have a go at smoking bacon.DP experimented with salmon with mixed results- too for me.
I haven't the heart to go blackberry picking this year since my little dog died (they grow on her favorite walk) but I do have a ton of plums to bottle. I might try plum sauce this year too.

Oh and I love making ice cream! Not sure I can mention it here because I have an all singing all dancing ice cream machine which my family clubbed together to buy me for my birthday. I can make an absolutely brilliant McFlurry though.

I'd make ice-cream if I could afford one of the all-in-one freezing models; but I'm not faffing around putting a bowl in the freezer for 12 hours first. (And I haven't got enough space to freeze the bowl anyway)

@sueelleker I agree. That's why I haven't mentioned my ridiculous machine before!🤣 I don't think it belongs on this thread...

We have got one of the ones where you freeze the bowl, it doesn't actually take up too much freezer space and we tend to put eg a bag of frozen peas in it. Haven't used it for ages though. Sorry about your dog @CurlewKate

I grew upon a farm and so having a house cow (not a luxury, a bloody pain. I've eaten far too much curds and whey in my life thanks to that bloody house cow), making jam, baking bread (without a bread maker), having a father who was obsessed with growing heritage varieties of potatoes, having hens etc was completely normal.

So my wanky thing (confirmed on here as wanky on another thread where I had the piss taken out of me for pointing out it was cheaper per serving than shop bought) is making my own pesto and having children who demand we go to pick wild garlic so that I can make a ton of wild garlic pesto for them.

I decluttered my “freeze the bowl” ice cream maker and didn’t even bother to offer it free. It froze the first half centimeter of the mixture and then the paddle jammed.
The bowl was good as an impromptu wine cooler, though. It just lived in the chest freezer.

Did someone say "bread-maker"?
<faints dramatically onto hand upholstered chaise longue and waits to be revived with home lavender water (in the bathroom, on the windowsill)>

Dashes to @CurlewKate windowsill to retrieve smelling salts and lavender water , . . . . . . pours out two medicinal size measures of brandy and hands one to slightly groggy Curlew and downs the other one.
I have just added shallots , salt and vinegar to tescos shopping list to make pickles and plan to go to aldi to get a load of cream later

@FOJN , the lakeland yoghurt maker really is a doddle to use , you need a few spoonfulls of natural / live ( i use tescos greek yoghurt ) yoghurt at room temp to start with and about a lt of milk ( tho because I get mine delivered by the pint I just use a pint each time ) . Then warm the milk up to just above body temp mix the two together and bung it in the yoghurt maker for 8 hrs.
If you want it thicker once your yoghurt is made use the built in strainer and allow it to stand for a few hours ( i leave mine over night but it doesn't take that long )

I would be really interested in anyone's idea what to do with the left over whey , it seems like a shame to chuck it away but i don't know what to do with it.

I am intrigued with your pineapple vinegar , how do you make it ? what do you use it for ?

@CurlewKate can I be cheeky and ask which ice cream maker you have? I'm thinking of getting one...

DS and I made wild garlic pesto for the first time this year, it was fabulous. He was one of "those" children who would prefer hummus to jam sandwiches and never ate fish fingers, sausages etc, I used to despair a bit but a wise woman told me that he'd grow into his tastes and now he's a young adult it is a joy cooking and shopping with him, he loves all the wanky stuff. Still won't eat potatoes though, which is tricky.

I have got one of those.
Not used it in decades, mind!

You can make no churn ice cream, Nigella has loads of recipes, just double cream icing sugar and flavour whipped together then frozen. We do one with raspberry vodka and put raspberries in it, absolutely delicious.
We have one of the old Lakeland yoghurt makers, struggle to get a nice smooth texture if anyone has any tips please!

@tt9 Not cheeky at all- but I can't find it for sale in this country. Which is weird. It's a GelatoChef 2200 and it's no longer for sale online in John Lewis. I think it was about £200 a few years ago.

@Martinisarebetterdirty , I dont often have the problem of grainy yoghurt but when I have its usually because I have over heated the milk or its a bit past its best , giving it a good whisking sometimes helps to makes it a bit smoother

I've been thinking about making my own greek style yogurt, does it work out much cheaper than just buying a tub from Aldi?

And now all I'm thinking about is salty butter with warm french baguette 🤤

thanks @CurlewKate :-). I will have a look online

I’ve made several types of cheese - there’s a fab one made from milk and natural yoghurt and you add chopped olives and sprinkle the outside with salt. It doesn't last long because it’s so good.

Plus if you can pick up remaindered goats milk cheaply it’s very easy to make goats cheese (it doesn’t come out too goaty either).

Ah thanks @ScottBakula

I use an old Easy Yo yoghurt maker that I got on eBay. I don't use the mixes they sell, I just add scalded milk and yoghurt culture to the inner pot thingy, then put it in the flask, add boiling water, put the lid on and wander off. The resulting yoghurt is always thick and creamy, with no straining.

With the yogurt if you strain it to make Greek style you do lose a lot of volume. I use UHT milk and strain it through a cloth handkerchief in a colander for about 4 hours, it ends up super thick and creamy but loses half the volume. Whereas if you don't strain it you get the full litre but it is runnier, like normal non-set, non-Greek yogurt.