Page 7 | Why is ‘Kind regards’ a bad sign off

Beenhereforever1978 · 24/08/2023 22:14

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 22:08

@Beenhereforever1978

No, she says 'sorry if I missed it' when I haven't sent her something (ie my error not hers!), not that she can't find it!

I mean it won't be anything massive, we both have very heavy workloads so not everything will be done in a certain order.

I'd never do something like point them to a search function in any case. That's not PA, that's rude.

I try to recognise that most people are doing their best & cut them some slack. If it's putting me in a problematic situation I'll deal with that f2f.

Haha! I'm quite rude then, I'll also deal with it face to face as I'm usually opposite the person asking me for something!

Apologies though, I misunderstood your post.

Beenhereforever1978 · 24/08/2023 22:15

SpaceRaiders · 24/08/2023 22:00

Ok so how do you start an email if you don’t want to say ‘Hi’ or ‘Dear’ at the start.

I find these things so confusing, all this time I’ve been thinking I’m being polite and to the point and I’m just coming across badly. Tbh I spend ages formulating written comms as I’m often too direct. This likely comes across badly even though there’s never any ill intent implied. It’s just how I communicate.

"OI!" 😃

Usually I go with good morning or good afternoon if OI! doesn't feel appropriate

AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 24/08/2023 22:16

SuperiorM · 24/08/2023 20:42

So, I’ve just heard that ‘Kind Regards’ is considered passive aggressive. Maybe I’m just old and out of touch but it sounds more like a more friendly’Best wishes’ to me. I suppose I’m going to have to stop using it.

It's not.

Beenhereforever1978 · 24/08/2023 22:17

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 21:55

Fair play!

Gretchen Rubin writes about this. She decided to stop all salutations / greetings / closing. She felt it took up time she didn't want to spend.

She got complaints from recipients saying it was cold / unfriendly etc.

She considered this. Saw their point. Decided she would carry on regardless as it suited her. Love it.

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Hard agree.

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 22:17

@Beenhereforever1978

I think if you deal with it f2f it makes a world of difference! And of course your colleagues know you so I'm sure they don't think it's rude.

My administrator is amazing; she makes my life easier every day. But she's sometimes blunt & quite rude on email. I don't ever say it to her - she's great at her job - but I don't engage with it. If she goes too 'blunt' I tell her to drop into my office or that we'll talk on Teams. She's great but I'm not going to be barked at in written communication by her!

Clafoutie · 24/08/2023 22:17

I’ve always just used ‘Regards’ as ‘Kind regards’ seemed a bit flowery to me. What is ‘kind’ about them?!
Until I read this thread though, I had no idea I was being cold or unfriendly! 😯I may need to rethink.
I don’t like ‘Best’ , which some people use instead of ‘Best wishes’. Each to their own though!

BlackForestCake · 24/08/2023 22:18

milknbean · 24/08/2023 21:22

I also get incensed by read receipts and never, ever click the permission to show it as read.

Oh, and even worse than that, the twats who send every email flagged "Urgency: High". Who the fuck do they think they are? I used to have a macro to automatically set the urgency on all such messages to "Lowest" and tag it "for later".

Doesn't everyone write "Kinny Regs" now?

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 22:19

Doesn't everyone write "Kinny Regs" now?

😂

Brilliant. First time I've ever seen this!

AppropriateAdult · 24/08/2023 22:21

pollykitty · 24/08/2023 21:32

I’ve always thought ‘kind regards’ sounds like ‘PIN number’, and used to sign off emails with Regards until someone told me it was considered unfriendly. The thing is, ‘Regards’ means ‘best wishes’ as in ‘give (person) my regards’. There is no such thing as ‘negative’ regards.
I sign ‘BW’ now which is twatty but I like it better than any other options. I wish email would just stop being formal. I literally still get emails starting ‘Dear Pollykitty’ from people I know, and signed Sincerely. It just all sounds pretentious to me.

This! This has always been my issue with Kind Regards - it's not passive-aggressive, it's just really poor English. I still use it at times, though, in the absence of a better alternative...

BitOutOfPractice · 24/08/2023 22:22

I have a lovely client (more like a friend now) and we have an agreement to never use kind regards. We have gone through hundreds of alternatives in many different languages / levels of formality. It amuses us.

cocksstrideintheevening · 24/08/2023 22:22

ATB has creeped in at my work, duck off would be better.

Beenhereforever1978 · 24/08/2023 22:26

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 22:14

I may or may not occasionally start my emails "OI!"

I know this is humorous but I couldn't work with you if you were addressing me, ever, like this. I'd tell you so in person tho!

This is with colleagues I have that kind of relationship with and had sussed out it would be well-received.

I tend to match people by their level of formality when they approach me, I'll still use "Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Mx" and "for your kind attention". It's for the recipient to decide the formality level (which is how some ended up at "OI!) and my default is generally polite

I promise to never shout Oi! At you though 😊

ohcrums · 24/08/2023 22:27

SpaceRaiders · 24/08/2023 22:00

Ok so how do you start an email if you don’t want to say ‘Hi’ or ‘Dear’ at the start.

I find these things so confusing, all this time I’ve been thinking I’m being polite and to the point and I’m just coming across badly. Tbh I spend ages formulating written comms as I’m often too direct. This likely comes across badly even though there’s never any ill intent implied. It’s just how I communicate.

Just use Hi or Dear, or good morning/ afternoon

SpaceRaiders · 24/08/2023 22:27

Beenhereforever1978 · 24/08/2023 22:15

"OI!" 😃

Usually I go with good morning or good afternoon if OI! doesn't feel appropriate

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🤣 I can’t imagine ever using OI unless I know the person really well.

whiskeyfoxtrotcharlie · 24/08/2023 22:27

At work, I always use 'Dear' as a salutation and finish 'With best wishes.'
Probably very old fashioned.
I thing Kind Regards is naff.
KR or BW beyond the pale. Yeah, sure – you are too busy and important to type out Kind Regards 😂

WarmSausageTea · 24/08/2023 22:29

I’ve always used Regards - the kind part is pretty much a given, so I’ve never bothered. Similarly, I dislike ‘sincere apology’ - just ‘apology’ is fine )assuming you mean it and convey that), theres no need to over-egg it.

Lndnmummy · 24/08/2023 22:30

I cant stand 'Thanks'. It sounds so bossy, entitled and demanding. I find it really disrespectful.
😂

IdaPrentice · 24/08/2023 22:36

What I find irritating is a colleague who writes their request only in the subject line and leaves the body of the email blank - rude! Like their time is so precious they can't waste it on an actual message.

HidingFromDD · 24/08/2023 22:36

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 21:46

On a slightly broader note, Covid really made me realise what a shit communication tool email is.

In lieu of quick informal chats, everything was being emailed, leading to massive additional, unnecessary communication & potential for misunderstanding.

I realised my own tendency to pad out emails, and now make myself do a quick scan to edit before sending. I also decided if any email went longer than 1/4 page, I needed to find another way to communicate.

The whole thing has interested me so much that I'm collaborating on a research project (will be a paper) on team management & communication post-Covid.

I’d be really interested in this. Can you share more details?

Beenhereforever1978 · 24/08/2023 22:37

SpaceRaiders · 24/08/2023 22:27

🤣 I can’t imagine ever using OI unless I know the person really well.

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I know all of the people really well when. I use Oi!

IT CHANGES UP THE DAY 😃

I also have no fear which probably helps.

willWillSmithsmith · 24/08/2023 22:37

I always use kind regards. It sounds polite to me.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 24/08/2023 22:37

People who start emails with Happy Monday or Happy Friday annoy me far more than they should. Normal reason, it just does.

I work with someone who hates all corporate b.s and formal nonsense. His email are so direct it's refreshing.

TTTT,

I need to you to send me X,Y,Z, ideally immediately but no later than 5pm.

If not possible, let me know by 2pm latest.

From
Greg

He acknowledges everything in the same way too.

TTTT,

Received-prompt response appreciated.

From
Greg

EarringsandLipstick · 24/08/2023 22:38

IdaPrentice · 24/08/2023 22:36

What I find irritating is a colleague who writes their request only in the subject line and leaves the body of the email blank - rude! Like their time is so precious they can't waste it on an actual message.

Oh God, that's appalling.

That's certainly an email that merits ignoring!

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 24/08/2023 22:38

It's funny how we say Dear [name] in the most formal letters and emails. I work with clients in the Middle East and often get emails addressed to Hello Dear :)

Clafoutie · 24/08/2023 22:39

The variety of responses on here just show what a minefield email communication is!