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Original poster

Neighbour knocking about the shouting

119 replies

Woodward23 · 19/08/2023 20:09

Just had a knock on the door from the man next door to us, his heard lots of shouting and I was like yeah thats us and the kids a bit flabbergasted (after telling them 5 times to get into bed i shouted ,their dad also shouted)
He is fully aware we have children, he is also fully aware that there home in the holidays anyway them he starts going on how we should be teaching them love and peace and calmness ....... my husband then came down to apologise for the shouting and he then goes on to him don't shout we need to teach them peace and love. I could smell alcohol coming off him so his probably a bit drunk but seriously just who does that ? I can't explain how much of a weird neighbour anyway which made it all feel a bit weirder

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 19/08/2023 23:36

AliceOlive · 19/08/2023 20:24

I’ve had friend that had to listen to shouting through their walls. It’s really awful to experience.

Seriously, the windows and shouting are not related. My windows are open too, but there is no shouting. I agree with other pps. You need to take a look at how you are running bedtime. I absolutely appreciate that children can be frustrating. But bedtime should be a wind down. Alice Olive is so right, it is awful to experience. Especially for your children.

Snugglemonkey · 19/08/2023 23:38

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 21:29

It's really quite sad that op reacted to "What's all the shouting?" with a bewildered "but he knows we have kids 🤷🏻‍♀️". It's clear that shouting and screaming is a perfectly normal and expected part of the background in that house.
Awful.

👏

HappiDaze · 19/08/2023 23:51

Instead of posting on MN learn to close windows when you're shouting so loudly and for long long a neighbour has to come round to complain

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 23:54

HappiDaze · 19/08/2023 23:51

Instead of posting on MN learn to close windows when you're shouting so loudly and for long long a neighbour has to come round to complain

You think that's the answer? Close the windows so nobody outside will hear?

Timetochangegonzo · 20/08/2023 00:01

Honestly! I sometimes have a sharp words with my 8 year old but I have genuinely never ever shouted…why would that help anything?

TiredCatLady · 20/08/2023 00:06

blacksax · 19/08/2023 22:10

There will be some children somewhere tonight whose lives would be made immeasurably better if only their neighbour was able to do something to help them.

This in spades. A lot of people wouldn’t risk knocking out of fear of the response they might get. Some might ignore it as none of their business. Some might straight up call the police.

Deathbyfluffy · 20/08/2023 00:16

gettingoldisshit · 19/08/2023 22:17

All the smarmy smug replies from the "perfect" parents on here 🙄. Im a shouty parent and my kids are not feral or timid or scared of me or any of the other things that the smugs on here suggest! Of course the neighbours can here in the summer...the windows are open!!! I would have told shouted at the neighbour to fuck off and mind his own business!

Ugh, imagine being this proud that the neighbours can hear a live episode of Jeremy Kyle.

C’mon, you must be able to see how bad that looks!

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 20/08/2023 01:08

TheYadaYada · 19/08/2023 20:24

Stop shouting at your kids and learn better parenting.

Have some consideration for your neighbours.

This.

You should be extra quiet when windows are open, not expect everyone else to suck it up.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 20/08/2023 01:09

ChickpeaPie · 19/08/2023 20:23

Oh fgs. My kids are under 8 and I frequently need to shout at bedtime. Doesn’t mean it’s a toxic horrible bedtime. It just means I have to shout to get them in bed in pjs with clean teeth, but then we have lovely stories and cuddles and chats. Don’t be so quick to judge

Yes, it is toxic parenting.

Pancakebatter · 20/08/2023 01:35

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 21:29

It's really quite sad that op reacted to "What's all the shouting?" with a bewildered "but he knows we have kids 🤷🏻‍♀️". It's clear that shouting and screaming is a perfectly normal and expected part of the background in that house.
Awful.

Agree.

Youdoyoubabe · 20/08/2023 01:41

I was a shouty mum. The kids do remember it. Try your best not too.

GrannyGoggins · 20/08/2023 03:51

truthhurts23 · 19/08/2023 21:35

maybe he had a similar childhood of being shouted at, so he is having flashbacks or something

Could have even been the reason he had had a drink.

I think more consideration is needed for the neighbour. There shouldn't be any shouting in the evening/at night. There's no need for it.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 20/08/2023 04:09

gettingoldisshit · 19/08/2023 23:34

I can definitely communicate without swearing and i can even use big words 🙄 i just love to swear, what can i say! Don't feel sorry for my neighbours, in between my shouting and their dogs barking or kids throwing very loud tantrums we rub along quite nicely thanks!

Show quote history

Not sure why you need to over-egg such a grim picture, but whatever makes you happy.

Vault687 · 20/08/2023 04:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Missingmyusername · 20/08/2023 04:21

“All the smarmy smug replies from the "perfect" parents on here 🙄. Im a shouty parent and my kids are not feral or timid or scared of me or any of the other things that the smugs on here suggest! Of course the neighbours can here in the summer...the windows are open!!! I would have told shouted at the neighbour to fuck off and mind his own business!”

^ You sound a delight. Thank god I don’t live anywhere near you or the OP! Why do you think someone wants to listen to you shouting?

mathanxiety · 20/08/2023 04:50

What an extraordinary thread.

So much sanctimony, so much drivel.

OP your neighbour was drunk. Don't mind him.

mathanxiety · 20/08/2023 04:54

Agree with @ShineBright1209

readingismycardio · 20/08/2023 05:05

My neighbours have 4 children. We NEVER hear them! Sometimes, when they are playing in the garden we hear them laughing, but that's normal. Gosh, I'm so happy I'm not your neighbour!

ichundich · 20/08/2023 05:16

All those MNters who never:
Shout
Drink more than a glass of sherry at Christmas
Turn their thermostat up beyond 12 degrees in the middle of winter
Eat a pack of crisps or a chocolate bar

What a nasty pile-on.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 20/08/2023 05:20

‘Pile on’?!

The OP has started a thread, inviting opinions on her shouting. She could just as easily have …. not done that.

WandaWonder · 20/08/2023 05:22

So it's all your neighbours fault you have children issues and can't control yourselves with noise?

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 20/08/2023 05:28

😂😂😂 of course parents sometimes need to shout at their kids! Bloody hell. No wonder British kids are so out of control and badly behaved if shouting is this much of a scandal!

OnRose · 20/08/2023 05:34

I grew up in a household where my parents ever shouted at us and my kids grew up in a house hold where I never shouted. There are plenty of ways to get kids to respect you and to behave without shouting. You've lost the control of you have to shout - also it's not just about the immediate impact of shouting but about the long term effect. Not many people are going to look back fondly at being shouted at as kids. Shouting is unpleasant.

If you regularly shout at your kids then something is wrong.

OnRose · 20/08/2023 05:42

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 20/08/2023 05:28

😂😂😂 of course parents sometimes need to shout at their kids! Bloody hell. No wonder British kids are so out of control and badly behaved if shouting is this much of a scandal!

I guess you are unaware that there are other more constructive ways to get kids to be well behaved than shouting. 🤔 For example, I used timeouts when they were little and loss of computer 'privileges' when they were older. No shouting needed. I was very consistent. My kids were well behaved and respectful.

It's horrible being shouted at. Why would you do that to a kid.

I understand there is going to be the odd occasion where shouting for some people but for it to be a normal way of discipline a child shows there is something wrong.

Nemesias · 20/08/2023 05:55

My old neighbour would probably just say she was a “shouty mum”.

she was fucking vicious when she was shouting at her poor children. They very rarely seemed to have actually done anything wrong, putting their shoes on too slowly or not going to bed quick enough, not getting ready for school fast enough and she would be screaming at them like she hated them. She didn’t speak to her useless husband like that.

good on your neighbour for checking on your children - what a shame you won’t reflect on your behaviour

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