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Original poster

Neighbour knocking about the shouting

119 replies

Woodward23 · 19/08/2023 20:09

Just had a knock on the door from the man next door to us, his heard lots of shouting and I was like yeah thats us and the kids a bit flabbergasted (after telling them 5 times to get into bed i shouted ,their dad also shouted)
He is fully aware we have children, he is also fully aware that there home in the holidays anyway them he starts going on how we should be teaching them love and peace and calmness ....... my husband then came down to apologise for the shouting and he then goes on to him don't shout we need to teach them peace and love. I could smell alcohol coming off him so his probably a bit drunk but seriously just who does that ? I can't explain how much of a weird neighbour anyway which made it all feel a bit weirder

OP posts:
Itsnotrightbutitsok · 19/08/2023 21:17

It depends how much you and your DH are shouting.

Its ok to shout every now and then but not all of the time.

The content of the shout also matters.

PatTesting · 19/08/2023 21:17

Do you shout a lot? If so, and I was your neighbour, I think I’d be coming round too.

I’m going to speculate here that the OP and her husband and kids are as noisy as fuck and she’s trying to claim it’s a one off.

Hollyppp · 19/08/2023 21:17

I’m with the neighbour on this one.

sure children can be annoying but you shouldn’t need to be shouting at them to get them to go to bed. Poor kids

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 21:18

JusthereforXmas · 19/08/2023 21:04

lol at perfect parents who never shout (never having anything except positive emotional reactions is really unhealthy).

The people I know like that are viciously passive aggressive and controlling (with a quiet voice and smile of course). Who raise kids full of anxiety on egg shells waiting for the day they are finally going to snap (I know because I married one of those kids and have to live with his emotional repression and damage).

Also at the 'if the neighbor can hear', going back to my ILs they can hear their neighbors dog fart in the night, some houses are joined and the walls are paper thin lol.

Confused. It really isn't either / or. Besides, these poor kids have both their parents shouting so loudly at them that the neighbours can hear (explained away as the window is open, it's called summer) 😬
That's sub optimal parenting right there.

ShineBright1209 · 19/08/2023 21:18

Can’t believe all the perfect parents on here who make out they never raise their voices at their children.

WunWun · 19/08/2023 21:19

Wow, I'm thankfull I don't live next to you.

TetrapanaxRex · 19/08/2023 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 21:21

Woodward23 · 19/08/2023 20:09

Just had a knock on the door from the man next door to us, his heard lots of shouting and I was like yeah thats us and the kids a bit flabbergasted (after telling them 5 times to get into bed i shouted ,their dad also shouted)
He is fully aware we have children, he is also fully aware that there home in the holidays anyway them he starts going on how we should be teaching them love and peace and calmness ....... my husband then came down to apologise for the shouting and he then goes on to him don't shout we need to teach them peace and love. I could smell alcohol coming off him so his probably a bit drunk but seriously just who does that ? I can't explain how much of a weird neighbour anyway which made it all feel a bit weirder

I think you're the weird neighbour, op.

ShineBright1209 · 19/08/2023 21:22

@Woodward23
how old are your children?

WunWun · 19/08/2023 21:22

ShineBright1209 · 19/08/2023 21:18

Can’t believe all the perfect parents on here who make out they never raise their voices at their children.

Surely if the windows and doors are all open you would keep it down, not carry on as usual screaming though? And surely most people aren't baffled when their neighbours complain about their shouting disturbing them? Baffled enough to come on here as if they're totally in the right to upset their neighbours without a second thought

IhearyouClemFandango · 19/08/2023 21:22

"YOU HAVE TO RELAX AND GO TO SLEEP, NOW"

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/08/2023 21:24

The neighbour sounds lovely. The OP and her husband not so much. Poor kids.

fruitypancake · 19/08/2023 21:27

Yes agree with your neighbour .. find another way

Fizzology · 19/08/2023 21:27

At bedtime, OP and her dh should be playing a flute and violin duet, wafting through the hallways with smiles and good wishes, kissing the heads of their little angels before leading them in a session of gentle bedtime yoga. Anything less is suboptimal parenting.

Growuppeople · 19/08/2023 21:29

Chav!? God heard it all now remember OP you have to sit them down and explain a million times you can’t ever get frustrated! This is why kids think they can do whatever they want parents do nothing!

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 21:29

It's really quite sad that op reacted to "What's all the shouting?" with a bewildered "but he knows we have kids 🤷🏻‍♀️". It's clear that shouting and screaming is a perfectly normal and expected part of the background in that house.
Awful.

Growuppeople · 19/08/2023 21:30

Fizzology · 19/08/2023 21:27

At bedtime, OP and her dh should be playing a flute and violin duet, wafting through the hallways with smiles and good wishes, kissing the heads of their little angels before leading them in a session of gentle bedtime yoga. Anything less is suboptimal parenting.

Or do this 👆 😂

Nicknacky · 19/08/2023 21:30

Fizzology · 19/08/2023 21:27

At bedtime, OP and her dh should be playing a flute and violin duet, wafting through the hallways with smiles and good wishes, kissing the heads of their little angels before leading them in a session of gentle bedtime yoga. Anything less is suboptimal parenting.

So do you shout at your kids at bedtime?

Redebs · 19/08/2023 21:33

Nicknacky · 19/08/2023 21:04

I have shouted at my kids. I would imagine most posters have but how many have shouted so badly that a neighbour feels they have to come around?

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It depends how sensitive the neighbour is.
It might have triggered bad memories of his own childhood. If neighbours don't usually talk to each other, things can get a bit accusatory

PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 19/08/2023 21:33

Stop shouting, I would've complained too. Be a better parent to your poor kids

ShineBright1209 · 19/08/2023 21:34

Growuppeople · 19/08/2023 21:30

Or do this 👆 😂

Show quote history

😂😂

Fizzology · 19/08/2023 21:34

Nicknacky · 19/08/2023 21:30

So do you shout at your kids at bedtime?

Show quote history

(Clutches heart and pearls) Did you not read my suggestions? We do bedtime crochet sessions while listening to Radio 3. Don't you? I feel sorry for your poor kids.

ladeluge · 19/08/2023 21:34

OP you made a fundamental mistake here. You failed to follow the strict MN rule that says you never open your door to anyone unless they have arranged to visit you in advance.

Lesson learned I hope. And ignore neighbour or buy him a set of earplugs, or direct him to the nearest silent retreat house far away from bedtime squabbles.

truthhurts23 · 19/08/2023 21:35

maybe he had a similar childhood of being shouted at, so he is having flashbacks or something

StSwithinsDay · 19/08/2023 21:36

When I was a teen we lived next door to shouty parents. I was very happy mine didn't shout.