What happens between the wedding ceremony and the dinner? Suddenly gripped by the fear that my wedding will be boring and people won’t know what to do with themselves!

[ComtesseDeSpair]

I’m trying to think back to other weddings I’ve been to and drawing blanks. (Except for my friend who got her family’s racehorses out for us all to meet, but I don’t have any racehorses.) Does somebody give a speech? Am I meant to give a speech? Oh god. Do we go for a walk en masse around the venue grounds? We could, it’s a nice venue. Ceremony is at 13:30 and then dinner is at 17:00, as our coordinator suggested. There will be a bit of photography but we’re a fairly small group and so I can’t imagine it will go on for very long, we’ve arranged for cocktails and cakes during that bit, but how long are we supposed to drag it out for? I don’t recall ever being a bored guest at a wedding before but I also can’t remember what we all did! Any ideas so my guests don’t look bemused and ask what’s happening next?

It takes ages to round everyone up for photos. Drinking and chatting takes ages too. We had the meal at 4 and it was too early

If the wedding ends at 13:30 people likely haven’t eaten since breakfast, rather than cake, would nibbles be better as people will be hungry?

Cocktails and cakes sounds lovely. So long as they don’t run out early your guests will be happy chatting in the grounds.
Are there any small children coming?

Any wedding I've been to I've lingered about either at the church (sometimes there's refreshments there) or gone and got a coffee/quick bite of food with a few friends from the wedding somewhere between ceremony venue and reception venue.

If ceremony and reception at the same venue people will mill about and chat and drink and get photos taken. You and your new hub will definitely be flat out socialising/getting photos/chatting and your guests will be grand don't worry.

That does seem like a long gap between ceremony and dinner I have to say and an early ceremony, especially if you’re only at one venue and presuming your ceremony only takes a short amount of time. If you had to get people to travel to the reception then maybe you would need that long. I would have people arrive at 2pm for a 2.30 ceremony. If ceremony takes 30 mins then two hours is a good amount of time for cocktails and mingling and for you to have photos etc.

Its amazing how long it all takes, so I wouldn't worry. You've got time to take photos with everyone while still socialising with them, and if the venue is lovely (and everyone has good mobility) then it would be fab to take pictures in a few different places around the grounds.

Will you cut your wedding cake in that time too? Might be nice to do that to eat with the other cakes.

But in terms of activities, get some lawn games, hire a magician etc?

Wine or soft drinks and canapés? Make sure plenty of seats!

Problem is some of the guests drink far too much, imo, while the photos are taking place and will be falling over themselves before dinner is even served. Sorry, but that is my experience of weddings.

People will be hungry, so drinks and substantial nibbles/ photos/ chatting

Can you not bring the dinner forward? It will be a very long time to wait. You won't need 3.5/4hrs for photos

How small is your group?

Just been to a wedding with similar timings. We did - photos, lawn games, drinks, snacks, nibbles, chatting, exploring the grounds. Dinner at 5 was good

No children and there will be breakfast food served right through the morning until about midday (we’re all staying on site for the weekend) so I’m not especially worried that people will be starving having not eaten since e.g. 6am; coordinator said she usually sees a lot of food wastage when hosts try to squeeze lunch in as well as most people don’t eat substantial food knowing they’ll be enjoying a fancy big dinner a couple of hours later.

I did want a Punch and Judy show, but the venue logistics made it sadly impossible.

People chat. Much the same as when you go to a adult birthday party or even a meal out for work or whatnot. The standing around chatting and drinking is the social bit. Can be boring, depends who is there!

Canapés > cake, IMO.

Ceremony at 1330 til 1400
Photos normally take 45 mins to 1 hour depending on numbers so that takes you to 1500
Drinks and canapés 1500-1630 which gives everyone time to chat etc
1630 the venue will seat everyone and them you will be announced and seated before dinner served at 1700

If you are worried, maybe get a close up magician or something similar

Yes this , nibbles a few drinks chat and photos time will fly by.

There are 40 of us. With the exception of our parents and siblings who have never met everyone else gets on like a house on fire so it won’t be a lot of awkward small talk. Lawn games are a great idea though, will ask.

Weddings I’ve been to have involved standing about, bored and hungry in painful heels for hours before the bride and groom come back from getting photos taken. I chose to have my (quick) ceremony at 4pm. Have you arranged anything for the guests to do for those 3 hours? Cocktails with cake doesn’t sound great but I’m a savoury food fan.

My friend has a gap like this at her wedding. It was far too long, we went back to the hotel room!

Our photographer took us away for at least 2 hours to get pics around the grounds. But for the guests we provided canapés, welcome drinks and a harpist to keep them entertained.
I agree with others that canapés would be better than cake. You'll also have your family photos taken during this time! As long as people have drinks, food and somewhere to sit they'll be fine but if you can budget for some live music/entertainment that would be a nice touch!

We had lawn games too which kept the kids entertained whilst the adults caught up

I think if 17:00 is the food serving time rather than the time to go to the meal and 1330 is actually “start arriving for ceremony which is actually at 2pm” it should be okay. But remember those same 40 people then have to talk all through the dinner and afterwards.

1:30 arrivals
2:00 ceremony
2:30 ceremony finishes and champagne served
2 hours of mingling and drinking and lawn games/exploring
4:30 people start going to dinner to get seated
5:00 dinner served

I think two hours is the max you would want a small group to be mingling as they will just get really drunk.

I thought it sounded like a big gap between ceremony and dinner but the coordinator convinced me and I assumed she had more experience on this than I do!

I would really hate cake before a wedding breakfast and wouldn’t eat them. Savoury options would save me from hunger.

Timetable-wise, if your ceremony finishes around 2.15, it’ll be 2.30 by the time everyone is out of the room 3pm for photos to really start, finishes by 4.00-4.30. Everyone gets seated, meal at 5pm.