What happens between the wedding ceremony and the dinner? Suddenly gripped by the fear that my wedding will be boring and people won’t know what to do with themselves!

[ComtesseDeSpair]

I’m trying to think back to other weddings I’ve been to and drawing blanks. (Except for my friend who got her family’s racehorses out for us all to meet, but I don’t have any racehorses.) Does somebody give a speech? Am I meant to give a speech? Oh god. Do we go for a walk en masse around the venue grounds? We could, it’s a nice venue. Ceremony is at 13:30 and then dinner is at 17:00, as our coordinator suggested. There will be a bit of photography but we’re a fairly small group and so I can’t imagine it will go on for very long, we’ve arranged for cocktails and cakes during that bit, but how long are we supposed to drag it out for? I don’t recall ever being a bored guest at a wedding before but I also can’t remember what we all did! Any ideas so my guests don’t look bemused and ask what’s happening next?

We married at 3, dinner was at 7.

We got married in a church. After the ceremony, we had three proper photos taken and done - one with our parents, one on our own and one with our baby daughter. We didn't want a load of photos, it's the worst part of the wedding when guests have to wait around.

Guests then walked to the local pub where we had paid for all drinks and nibbles. The photographer took candid photos in the pub.

Then a coach collected everyone and took them to the reception in the city centre - about 15 miles away.

At the reception we provided champagne and canapés and 45 mins later the meal was served.

We had two more photos taken, one of all the guests, one of the cake and that's it. Photographer took some candid shots throughout of the guests but nothing we had to pose for.

Definitely get some savoury nibbles/canapés put out as well as the cake. It’ll stop the guests getting too drunk, and will also be really good for any kids in attendance - cake is too messy for young kids in nice clothes, but crisps, breadsticks etc are much easier and keep the kids occupied.

I would rearrange. That sounds like an unnecessarily long gap, and I think everyone at some point has been to weddings where you're hanging about endlessly because of photographs. I would push the ceremony later, leave an hour and a half for drinks and nibbles, and then straight to dinner. I got married at noon and we went straight for tapas at 1.

We have canapés for pre-dinner, but they aren’t especially substantial, hence why we added some cakes. Could add some more canapés / bring them forward to the photo but.

I know my friends. They’ll be drunk whatever I feed them 😂

Tbh this bit is the worst bit of any wedding I’ve been too and imo incredibly boring. Bride and groom have various photos etc. and normally canapés are bought around. 1:30pm to 5pm though is a lot of time. We were at a wedding last week and ceremony was 1pm and wedding breakfast 3:30pm and that seemed long enough! I was starving hungry and the canapés just weren’t enough. It was just people chatting and making small talk while there were a few photos taken etc.

Can you put games out for people etc? Maybe garden games? The wedding had these later on but I think they’ll have been a lot better if they were also available in this gap.

We got married at 2, and the plan was to get everyone sitting down for around 4.45pm - I can’t totally remember but I think it ran a bit late?

I can’t actually remember what time the ceremony finished but it takes time getting everyone out of the room, serving them their drink etc.

We had canapés and mince pies in between, with fizz/ bottles of lager/ tea and coffee and soft drinks. There were a few photos but not many because I didn’t want them to take ages.

Everyone seemed happy enough, the time seemed to fly but I appreciate I would think that as the bride. I think when it’s all in one venue there’s slightly less aimless standing around though - the weddings I’ve been to that involved a change of location have involved aimless standing after the ceremony whilst photos happen/ people wait for the bridal party to make a move/ lifts and who is going with who gets debated, then the journey, then more standing around whilst more photos are taken/ people wait to see where they’re meant to be next. If you’re all in one venue, and everyone was well fed at breakfast, I think it will be fine - everyone will just enjoy the time to chat and mingle.

Last few I’ve been to have had similar gaps - I quite enjoy that but actually but then I like a drink at these occasions and would rather drink before dinner as I’m too full after!

How long is the ceremony? Is it on site?

Assuming it's no longer than 30 mins (pretty standard) and on site then 3 hours is quite a long time for people to be standing around with cocktails and cake. People will be sozzled and hungry

Presumably you're planning to do the cake cutting in that time?

Are there any lawn games?

Is the registrar booked for the ceremony at 1:30pm? I do think personally that it seems like a big gap, especially with only 40 of you. I got married last Summer, over 90 guests, and ceremony was 1:30pm too. Ceremony lasted about 30 minutes, so we were out in the gardens around 2pm. We sat for dinner around 4pm and it was served shortly thereafter. It didn’t feel like too long of a gap.
Could you ask to bring the meal forward to seated at 4:00pm, speeches then food served around 4:30pm?
Also, are you having evening food?

If it’s possible to reduce the gap without causing chaos then I would, but if not then it will help that everyone is staying on site already and it sounds like a good sized group.

We got married at 5 and dinner at 6

I can't bear those hours hanging around.

Breakfast til 12 doesn't mean people won't be hungry though. People will be getting ready from at least 11 and probably much earlier. So they'll eat breakfast say 9ish and then be starving by 5. That is a long gap especially if you don't want loads of pics.
Bring the canapés forwards and serve from 2.30 at the latest.

Please offer lots of soft drinks. As a non drinker we get offered 1 small.glass of room temperature orange juice and spend the rest of the time gasping. (or is that just me)

Ours is similar to this but meal served at 16:45 rather than 17:00

Yeah, this sounds like a reasonable set of timings - thanks. Will have a chat and get things brought forward / back.

The gap between the ceremony and food is the worse part of the wedding, especially when the bride and groom disappear for hours.
Our ceremony was at 2 sat down at 3.15, first course at 3.30 because i wanted to avoid people hanging around and get bored.

After the ceremony we served the guests canapés and drinks while photos were taken in the adjoining hall and staircase. One of the groomsmen helped the photographers assistant to get the people needed for each shot (we gave her a list of what we wanted). We also did my side at the venue before guests arrived to save time.
After that it was time for dinner.
It was a condensed timeline - I hate the standing around bit. So wedding at 2.30, photos/drinks/canapés from 3.15, dinner called at 4.45, served at 5pm. Speeches around 6.15 to 6.45, after that dancing/cut the cake cheeses, biscuits and cake, open bar available , we left at about 10 and carriages at 11pm in central London location.

I’ve been to a lot of weddings and that gap is the worst. That is a very long gap. Can you move your ceremony later or meal earlier? Guests can end up getting cold / drunk / bored. Assume the worst weather wise as well.

This and seats! Make sure plenty of seats. If there are young children maybe lay on something to do in the grounds if the weather is nice e.g.inflatable Ball pool, lawn Jenga or chess, croquet. I went to a wedding which has a sweet cart and a photo booth with lots of dressing up hats, specs and accessories so you could take silly photos!.

What a lovely idea. Proper meal in a pub, so no one went hungry then everyone was set up for the evening do.

As a guest I find this middle few hours excruciating. The only bonding anyone did at the last one I went to was over our aching feet and rumbling bellies. Older guests and anyone with any type of pain will be politely struggling.

I've been to many weddings where there has been too big a gap between the ceremony and meal but a lot depends whether it is on site or not.

My wedding was at 2.00pm and we ate at 5.30pm Timings were roughly

2.00pm Ceremony
2.40pm Photos with bridal party & guests in church yard
3.30pm leave church photos in horse drawn coach quick stop for photos in local park before transferring to cars. Guests make way to reception venue approx 15 minutes drive away
4.45pm Guests already having welcome drinks when we arrive, string quartet playing.

5.30pm Called in for meal

I was going to say
Make sure there's water/soft drinks
Make sure there's somewhere to sit
Warn people when the food will be served.

Still do all of those things, but I think it helps that you will have been serving them breakfast mid-morning and they will be staying on site so they can pop back to their rooms if the need to.

Usually that time is waiting for the couple to spend aaaaages doing photos.

We did speeches before dinner so that those giving speeches could relax snd enjoy dinner. If so then you may go into dining room for speeches about 4/4.30

@StillHereStillBreathing no, we paid for a full bar and small nibbles at the post church pub, the meal was at the reception venue in the city centre at 7pm. But there were no boring bits and food freely available, there's nothing worse than a wedding couple who spend 2hrs taking photos while everyone else is bored and hungry!

That's still a lovely idea! I went to a wedding once where the ceremony was lovely but the photos took forever and we were hanging around until the evening reception buffet at 7pm. It was boring so we all went off to the pub instead whilst the wedding party did their photos and breakfast and had a good time drinking and eating until the evening.It would have been boring just hanging around hungry.