What happens between the wedding ceremony and the dinner? Suddenly gripped by the fear that my wedding will be boring and people won’t know what to do with themselves!

[ComtesseDeSpair]

I’m trying to think back to other weddings I’ve been to and drawing blanks. (Except for my friend who got her family’s racehorses out for us all to meet, but I don’t have any racehorses.) Does somebody give a speech? Am I meant to give a speech? Oh god. Do we go for a walk en masse around the venue grounds? We could, it’s a nice venue. Ceremony is at 13:30 and then dinner is at 17:00, as our coordinator suggested. There will be a bit of photography but we’re a fairly small group and so I can’t imagine it will go on for very long, we’ve arranged for cocktails and cakes during that bit, but how long are we supposed to drag it out for? I don’t recall ever being a bored guest at a wedding before but I also can’t remember what we all did! Any ideas so my guests don’t look bemused and ask what’s happening next?

I’d second everyone saying FOOD!

An otherwise lovely wedding was a bit ruined because the beautiful lunchtime wedding, kept us waiting until about 8pm for dinner. Most of us had only had breakfast, and there was so much drink that we were all way too drunk. Kids were ratty. We were in the middle of nowhere so no shop we could go to. Tiny little canapés didn’t really do it. And we were too tired to appreciate the speeches and most of us missed the party afterwards because it started at 11pm.

I think another thing to consider is if the whole group is staying together at the venue, a lot of the catch up small talk will have been done already.

So 3 more hours of this before being seated for a dinner where they have to have chit chat is a lot for even the most sociable fun group (unless you are also handing out MDMA/mushrooms with the welcome drink in which case I’m sure it will fly by lol).

The energy after a ceremony is amazing - it’s so nice to capture that into the party rather than create a tedious lull where you lose the ceremony energy.

Use this 2 hours to surprise your guests with great themed cocktails, elegant magnums of rosé on ice, fun lawn games with silly names that represent your life, a “Photo Booth” with wigs and hats, some card games on tables, a surprise band turns up so that they can have a pre dinner dance…

And then everyone is supremely jolly sitting down to eat and the time has flown by rather than their social batteries being completely depleted 😁😁

I think another thing to consider is if the whole group is staying together at the venue, a lot of the catch up small talk will have been done already.

This is so true, as is the pp's observation that the lull really saps the momentum and energy. People start looking at their watches.

I would just roll right from the ceremony into the festivities; don't try to conserve money and eke out the day by staging a big gap. Immediate champagne, signature drinks, substantial food such as charcuterie boards/cheeseboards/canapes and some sort of entertainment be it jazz trio, etc. The photo booths are fun.

Then seat for the meal ASAP. Don't hold people captive waiting for the meal because you want the evening to last longer. Let them hear the toasts, dine, etc. and then start the dancing asap. Those who want to stay late drinking and dancing will do so, and those who want to be finished by 6 or 7pm can leave without having wasted the middle of their day standing around waiting.

I think what I'd really like is for the wedding photos to be done in reverse order. Instead of B&G, then the parents, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, the grannies, uncles & aunts, cousins etc etc, do the big 'everybody' shot first. That way, then the bigger family group ones, then close family. That means that all the random friends and distant relatives aren't standing around for hours kicking their heels wondering if their turn will ever come. The multitude can then go off and amuse themselves without having that interminable wait for The Photo.

I was at a wedding recently where I had to be there at 12 so I had to leave home at 11 and they didn't feed us till 330. I was bloody hangry by the time the food came out.

I think that sounds fine. You’ll be surprised how quick those couple of hours pass by.

I would swap cake for canapés and fizz and beers. Once people start drinking they’ll prefer a savoury snack.

I had a string quartet fill our gap as we done pics and mingling.

I used to be a wedding coordinator. We had a 2 hour rule. After the ceremony finishes - 2 hours until dinner, 2 hours for dinner and speeches. So if your ceremony was at 1:30 it would finish at 2, dinner would be at 4, evening guests would arrive from 6.
This was usually a good amount of time for most weddings, except I used to ask people to speak to the people doing speeches to make sure they weren’t planning on long ones.

Between the ceremony and dinner your guests will mingle, eat whatever snacks or canapés you have provided, drink and be on hand to be called into photographs as and when needed. They won’t be bored. They have snacks, alcohol and a lot of people to catch up with.
that being said I would move your dinner a little earlier. As 3 hours is a long time between ceremony and dinner

I had a small band playing with canapés and Champaign at mines. I can’t say I’ve ever noticed a gap in a wedding until a recent one I went to completely sober as I’m pregnant and it’s the only one I’ve ever been a bit bored at. You will be seated a lot earlier than 5 for speeches so will only really be 2 hoursish, I wouldn’t worry too much, everyone has probably been up early getting organised so will be happy to chill with a cocktail or 2 for a couple of hours.

What about cocktail demonstrations/ making them yourself. Sounds like your guests enjoy a drink :) and its something I'm sure the venue could do at short notice and without much disruption.