HolidayArse

[HolidayArse]

Firstly- I've been on MN for 100 years or so, I'm not the poo troll (but then I would say that...)

I'm looking for advice from like-boweled people please? I'm off on hols next week, and wondering what I can do/prep/take to mitigate Holiday Arse?

For those that don't know what I'm talking about, its the stupid, annoying phenomena that means my perfectly functional butt takes one look down an unfamiliar pan and goes 'NOPE'.

To emphasise. it's not a choice- I DGAF about being alluring for my husband, any mystique within our marriage fecked off a long time ago! I eat well, lots of water, fruit, and veg, but the whole digestive shebang just slows down and I spend a lot of precious holiday time feeling bloated, sluggish and crap

Anyone sympathise, and have any ideas that can help? I fly in a few days, so could start something now if it would make a difference?

Thank you!

Ffs typos 😂

Yeah, soluble magnesium in a generous amount of water. The fibre supplements can make you feel rather worse, and windy, if things are not working.

And some fresh pineapple or grapefruit if you can, but not loads. (Prepared to try the coconut cocktails though).

You have to PAY to see a ship's doctor??? Wtf? I have never been on a ship but assumed they were basically a GP at sea! Right I'm cancelling my retirement cruise plans.

Oh dear god the gas on aeroplanes. As a character in a book I read said, just strap this thing to my arse and I'll fart us over to Fuengirola.

Lol
My arse, which is clearly in cahoots with the brain adopts holiday arse until both are certain of a reliable and efficient flush. And not being disturbed.

Maybe you could entice by bringing your own familiar loo roll?

I have found my people. I can only poo at home. In fact, it horrifies me that DH freely evacuates at work. I cannot. So any holiday, UK or abroad, leaves me a bloated, blocked, sweaty mess desperately trying to fart silently in an echo chamber of a bathroom. (Premier inn t4, looking at you).

I want to waft and look pretty on holiday, not like the Michelin man with gas 😭

Yup.

For me it's the misery of sitting on a slightly-too-high loo, straining with zero sensation below the waist as if I've suddenly become paraplegic, whilst sweating like a motherfucker as the bathroom fills with steam from the redundantly running shower.

Hey can't wait for my hols now!

Ah yes, the running shower trick to disguise the symphony coming from my bottom. Been there, fools no one 🤣

I just cannot do it AT ALL. Which to be fair, is a good thing while on a day trip as I'm confident that loo stops will be of the liquid variety. Less good on a longer trip when things get backed up and noisy.

We are just back from a short trip, my DH took DD out very early in the morning to go for a walk. The relief of being able to fart freely and take a leisurely crap was priceless.

To add to my previous post, I have a prolapse which means my rectum protrudes in to my vagina (sorry if that's too much TMI - it's called a rectocel). This means that I don't / can't eliminate my gut if I'm not in a private situation (preferably with a sink in arm's reach). I too have shy bowel, to the nth degree..... and then there's the fact that I don't feel I need to 'go' because pressure is put on all the wrong places,
It affects my mental health and makes me feel as f I am not 'normal'.
After a two year battle, I am seeing the colorectal consultant again soon, and I hope he will agree to me getting (yet another) prolapse repair.

Posture might be a factor, if you can find something to rest your feet on so you’re in a semi squatting position it will help.

Dried mango. Lots of it.

I recognise what you describe and hope that one of the suggestions you have received works for you. Just as there are people who find a different bedroom affects their sleep patterns badly.

Have a lovely holiday.

One year, early in our marriage, DH and i went on a romantic break just the two of us to Tunisia. Lovely hotel, but, and i kid you not, the bathroom (obvs an en suit) had a big window through into the bedroom. With out a curtain 😳I mean ... ??

This made my holiday arse completely immune to all my usual methods of mollyfying it into action. In the end one eve before dinner on day 3/4 i left the room to 'take a stroll to look at the lovely foyer again and stretch my legs' (to be fair it was lovely, all glass lifts and palm trees) and made haste down to the general loos i'd spotted off the foyer area.

They were lovely and clean and posh and right out of the way with piped music and there was lots of cubicles and ... joy! ... no bugger seemed to ever use them 😃😂

I checked out the foyer every day after that. Good tip for you all.

I guess I shouldn't be pleased I'm not the only one. But it doesn't just happen to me when I'm abroad. On a trip to London this summer I just couldn't go. Until day 4, when we were in an art gallery and I thought the loo would be quiet. It was and the relief was wonderful until mid explosive poo when I suddenly heard lots of giggling. I sat in there as long as I could and emerged to find a crowd of young things in party dresses spraying perfume. I tried to look dignified.

I have IBD and like you. my arse goes on strike every time I'm away.
The only thing that'll shift it is Dulcolax. Don't take two as you'll likely explode.

I don't know what time your flight is but try everything to go in the morning before, I find it's 100 times worse if I get on the flight without having gone. Even if this means getting up hideously early. Flying absolutely drains every bit of hydration out of me so I always drink so much water that I go 1-2 times an hour (you have to pick an aisle seat!) This helps massively.

Also waking up earlier if you can and having a glass of water, a herbal tea, and then going for a walk. Then have breakfast . Then have a black coffee or two if things haven't moved. Give yourself more time to go in the morning before you leave the hotel/apartment otherwise for me it's stuck all day!

Also recommend taking chia seeds with you and sprinkling as most people don't eat much fibre when travelling/on holiday.

I had a lot of gut problems too so this is the last thing you want on hols! Good luck and enjoy the holiday!

Oh my I wish I had read this last week!

We are on honeymoon in the Dominican. We arrived Monday, it is now Sunday. I have not had a decent poo for a week! I have IBD so this shouldn’t be a problem for me 😂. My period started yesterday, that usually helps things slide… nope not this time. I’ve been cramping since Wednesday, from both lack of shits and uterus, I’m clearly eating too much, it’s all inclusive so I have to right? And drinking more.

Friday evening I even took both waste bins in with me to turn upside down to put my feet on. I’ve tried a colon massage too.

I usually drink tea, they don’t do that very well here though so I’ve been on the coffee, which again usually makes me go but not here, my shit is staying firmly inside.

Today will be coconut based cocktails.

Agree with a previous poster - take Dulcolax but never take two at a time…!

Still reading, and grateful for every tip!

@Thisisnotmyname2022 sending positive poo vibes to you

I’ve been on the cocktails all day.. not a poo in sight 😞

Brace yourself for this, my late DM recommended lathered up soap. Not ingested.

@Ohpleeeease, she's right! Call The Midwife anyone?

You mean, up the shitter? 🙈