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Original poster

What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

1000 replies

chimamandafan · 10/08/2023 18:28

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

OP posts:
FrivolousTreeDuck · 10/08/2023 20:41

Do you seriously think it was more rude of me to celebrate that she was better than it was for her to stand there, in front of 20 or more service-users, and insist she wasn't eating?

That behaviour is strange, certainly, but not rude.

bonzaitree · 10/08/2023 20:42

Daisythecat15 · 10/08/2023 19:14

When I was in university I worked part time at Tesco. I was kneeling on the floor stocking shelves. A random customer came over to me and went "god look at you, on your knees in Tesco, I bet you thought you'd achieve more than that in life"

Never spoken to the man before in my life. I was absolutely astonished.

I worked in a book shop at uni. A woman asked me about a book and I said sorry I hadn’t read it.

she replied « no you probably don’t read much ».

i now have three degrees… stupid judgmental cow.

Kowaii · 10/08/2023 20:43

That my “bad vibrations” is what caused my daughters meningitis.

ChelseaGem · 10/08/2023 20:44

Drunk, irate then-boyfriend: “You think you’re Avril Lavigne!”

A very sheltered Californian teenage girl: “Oh my god, you have an accent! What language do they speak in England?”

🤯

ReadingSoManyThreads · 10/08/2023 20:45

Triage nurse - it can't possibly be fractured, you're not screaming out in pain 🙄

Tried to send home, but said not leaving without an x-ray...fractured in 3 places, doctors rush in and send to surgery to fix with a plate.

ThreeLittleDots · 10/08/2023 20:45

"You can't breastfeed overnight. Your milk goes bad"

(formula-feed pushing MIL)

NuffSaidSam · 10/08/2023 20:45

All of these people are probably eligible to be on a jury. Terrifying isn't it?

GettingStuffed · 10/08/2023 20:46

betterchange · 10/08/2023 19:50

I used to be vegetarian and got into an argument with a friend who swore blind that veggies could eat chicken because it's not meat.

This reasoning was apparently based on the fact the Indian restaurants list chicken dishes seperately from "meat" dishes.

(Mind you, the whole of Spain seems to think the same - and neither does meat include any type of pig or fish product, according to the average Spanish cafe owner).

That reminds me of my big fat Greek wedding when the non Greek mother said she was vegetarian, the Greek aunt said that's OK I'll bring lamb.

Wilff · 10/08/2023 20:50

" This T-shirt says size Medium on its label, but its on a hanger that's says size Large.
Which size is it please? "

90yomakeuproom · 10/08/2023 20:50

DiscoDragon · 10/08/2023 19:03

My daughter was recently diagnosed with a condition called mosaic Turner Syndrome after she fell right off her centiles and was sent for further investigation. It's a condition where some of her X chromosomes are partially missing - obviously a condition that only affects females. I was telling my mum about it and my stepdad was tutting away in the background, saying it was absolute nonsense that she'd been sent to have tests just because she was small. He then tried to insist that my brothers had the same condition when they were young and had "grown out of it".

I know a child with TS and she is so amazing. The beautiful butterfly girls. 🦋

Pottedshrimpy · 10/08/2023 20:51

A school mum asked me if I’d ever asked my mum what position I’d been conceived in.

Fucking weirdo.

Pineappleandredcheese · 10/08/2023 20:53

My mates (dickhead) sister-' I'm a vegetarian,I only eat chicken and fish'

I mean honesty?

Best bit was,she hated all vegetables and refused to eat them!

gabsdot45 · 10/08/2023 20:54

I got lost in a town in America once and stopped to directions. The guy I asked didn't know the way to where I was going but he asked me where I was from
Ireland I said
Wow cool, I went to New Zealand once. He replied.
???

Pinkywoo · 10/08/2023 20:55

Eastofe · 10/08/2023 19:47

That by wearing my prosthetic so often I was going to stunt the natural growth of my leg.

I was a fully grown adult at the time- he meant my regrowth, as in I was limiting how well my amputated leg would grow back.
I was too suprised to say anything but my friend, who was with me at the time, said " what are you on about?? she's not a fucking starfish"

😂I love your friend!

ThreeLittleDots · 10/08/2023 20:55

"Perhaps you shouldn't eat out if you can't afford to leave a tip"

Said to me by a charming poster on MN

LylaLee · 10/08/2023 20:59

ThreeLittleDots · 10/08/2023 20:55

"Perhaps you shouldn't eat out if you can't afford to leave a tip"

Said to me by a charming poster on MN

Well, unfortunately, in the USA this is true, because otherwise the poor bastard waiting on your table doesn't get paid. Thank god it's not so bad in the UK.

ThreeLittleDots · 10/08/2023 21:02

The discussion wasn't referencing USA, but UK

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 10/08/2023 21:04

FiL: Ibiza, would you like a coffee?
Me: No, I'm allergic. (I have been the whole 25 years I've known him)
2 hours later
FIL: Ibiza, would you like a coffee.
Me: no thank you

(He definitely means "coffee" and not "tea or coffee. He gets in a right fluster if I ask for tea instead).

This happens at 2 hourly intervals for 3 or 4 days whenever we visit.

Also - DM told me I never did anything for anyone else. I think she missed the bit where I nursed her through Covid and chemo, took her to hospital about 50 times last year, walked her dog and cooked for her. And that I'm a Scout leader just to keep the unit running. And I have 2 teens and a Ft job. It was so laughable untrue I decided it had to be the drugs talking.

Then there was the time some decided to mansplain my PhD topic to me inKS2 terminology so I'd understand.

FrillyGoatFluff · 10/08/2023 21:07

Was at a work function, attending the drinks reception of a company i used to work for (small industry, VERY male dominated). I worked there from 22 to 27, I was 35 at this point.

Bloke I used to work with swaggered over and said 'you know, we all used to fancy you when you were young and skinny. But you've put some weight on haven't you?'

I'd literally just had a baby.

Don't know where it came from, but I managed to summon up the ability to say back 'ah, but I can lose weight. Short of a stretching rack, wig and personality transplant, you'll always be a short, bald twat, mate.'

I will never forget that moment. Never done anything remotely quick before or since, and thought my husband (who is also in the same industry) and the MD of the old company, who were both standing with us were going to choke laughing. Shut the prick up though.

Tilllly · 10/08/2023 21:10

That the only currencies were pounds and euros

Doyoureallyhavetoask · 10/08/2023 21:10

I had a debilitating chronic pain condition that had lasted several years. Had received help from GP, physio, pain clinic. Many medications, some surgical interventions, physio exercises, yoga, pilates, mindfulness, massage, acupuncture, cupping, etc. All helped a bit but I was still suffering a lot.

An acquaintance asked me brightly one day, Doyoureally, have you ever thought of.... ibuprofen?

Hmm let me think. I have a medical degree, many years of clinical experience, several postgraduate qualifications, am a member of two medical colleges. I'm under the care of an extremely experienced GP, a wonderful physio, and a very skilled anaesthetist who has an interest in treating people who experience chronic pain.

But none of us thought of ibuprofen!!!

( Not really. It was about the first thing I tried).

NameChangeEmbarressed · 10/08/2023 21:14

Oh, and my (estranged) mother told my sister (who still sees and speaks to our mother) that my miscarriage was caused by God as a punishment for me having pre-marital sex........

Brexile · 10/08/2023 21:15

PimpMyFridge · 10/08/2023 19:39

That spending a year in Oz would solve my low melanin situation (I'm one of those very pale/blue freckly sorts) and I'd come back brown as a berry (which is not a saying that makes sense if you think about it, never seen a brown berry) ... As though I'd never thought of exposing myself to sun before and was just a latent tanned lovely waiting to happen.

Hawthorns can have brown berries, but "You'll come back as brown as a haw" might be misconstrued!

Some hilarious stories on here and some sad ones too.

Doyoureallyhavetoask · 10/08/2023 21:16

@NameChangeEmbarressed

I'm sorry you experienced that

Thatsshallot1967 · 10/08/2023 21:17

A lady in the supermarket car park loading her car told my husband that the 5G mast being erected across the road was "going to fry people's brain" and "cause a second wave of covid". 🤔

Have read about these conspiracy theories before but didn't think he would actually hear it first hand.

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