What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

Sorry that having 1 child is harder than several

That, whilst I was clearly making it all up in the first place, through the power of my mind, I had manifested autoimmune disease purely to trap a younger (by 61 days) man into looking after me as I entered old age (30) - and if I weren't such an evil abuser that wanted to live on benefits for the rest of my life whilst draining the very lifeblood out of him, I could equally make it go away again if I just thought healthy thoughts hard enough and decided that I wasn't ill. Oh, and the NHS were diagnosing and treating it at great cost because they were working in cahoots with the pharmaceutical companies.

I remember MIL and I having a very heated debate about her friend that wished away a horses wart.

Via telephone.

Sounds like she might get on well with my tosspot magical thinker ex.

I used to be vegetarian and got into an argument with a friend who swore blind that veggies could eat chicken because it's not meat.

This reasoning was apparently based on the fact the Indian restaurants list chicken dishes seperately from "meat" dishes.

(Mind you, the whole of Spain seems to think the same - and neither does meat include any type of pig or fish product, according to the average Spanish cafe owner).

@Goldcircle
Ah but I agree - I have found several children easier then when I had just the one (she was an only until she was 5, and my god she was attention-demanding! Having a sibling actually gave me a bit of a break!)

I’m really enjoying this thread btw.

That having twins and doing things like nappy changes, feeding, dressing, getting into car seats isn't twice the work because "you're already doing it for one anyway" But it's literally doing everything twice...

Yep I know somebody like that too. Chicken, and bacon, but they are vegan aside from that. Except for chocolate and other desserts, obviously.

”I don’t eat beef” would be a lot more honest.

On a bus with a crying newborn a local woman told me loudly I should have kept my fucking legs shut..
Did spur me on to pass my test before the next dc arrived. Passed at 6 months pregnant!

A friend used Sun In to get blonder as our other friend had recently newly blonde hair and she was jealous (😂 which is hilarious in itself)

Anyway, she used Sun In, hair turned lighter and she said "omg my hair is SO blonde it's almost like it WANTS to be blonde"

She denied using Sun In despite it hanging out of her handbag. It happened last Summer and I can still vividly hear the memory and it makes me laugh every single time.

This is my favourite so far!

Mine would be:

"Jeez Bess what are you wearing sunglasses for - it's cold"

From my sister. Who comes out with these gems on a regular basis.

When I was a lone parent with baby DD and no contact or support from her F, I had quite a few people tell me that they were in the same boat as I was, as their husbands played golf / went sailing / cycled a lot.

@betterchange I think in some languages (I want to say Swahili but I’m not 100% on that), there’s a distinction between “meat” (cattle, sheep, goats) and “birds” (chicken, duck, etc). Like we separate meat and fish, even though it is still a bit of dead creature.

So in English you might say “I eat fish but not meat” and that makes sense, from a language perspective if not an ethical one. And in other languages you can say “I eat birds but not meat” and that also makes sense.

I live on the south coast but grew up and lived in London for 25 years. I put a complaint in at work about a colleagues racism, I was told that I needed to understand that not everyone grew up in a multi cultural area.

I've had people tell me they are allergic to:

• potassium
• boiled fish
• oxygen
• adrenaline

I’m sorry but this made me laugh…

Ive met quite a few vegetarians that eat chicken and bacon!!

Also, if you want to virtue-signal, saying "I eat mostly a plant-based diet" is still true.

@FormerlyPathologicallyHappy yes I know one of those. Vegetarian apart from chickens - they don’t count because they are stupid. But then she also told everyone that the reason why she went back to her maiden name was because she had got a DUI and ‘didn’t want the press to find her’ (don’t really know why they would have cared) as opposed to the simple and real explanation that she had split from her husband.

In Nicaragua, a woman said to me (in Spanish but this was the gist) "WTF, you don't have volcanoes in England ???!!!!!"

Probably an ex friend of little gorm, who said of her coke dealing boyfriend: ‘If it wasn’t for the hypocrites who buy it from him, he wouldn’t have to do it’.

When I went into work to tell my boss that my terminally ill husband's palliative treatment had been withdrawn, and that he'd been given a week or two at most, she told me off for not being positive enough. "miracles happen".

Apart from the 'have to' part she's not wrong...

I saw a drug allergy page for one patient that claimed she was allergic to “foam”.

Sea foam? Memory foam? Bubble bath? Veloute of turnip with carrot foam?

(I am blaming the HCP who entered it in EPR, not the patient)