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Original poster

Autistic Women Assemble! #2

982 replies

Nepmarthiturn · 06/08/2023 11:18

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

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TheShellBeach · 12/12/2023 10:57

@RainbowZebraWarrior I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter.

@Nepmarthiturn Your tree is absolutely beautiful.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 11:58

Awww thanks! I absolutely love getting the decorations up. Very impressed with how the kids decorated it, especially because many of the decorations are glass (purchased before they were born!).

I am still feeling pretty dreadful. I've coughed so much I've pulled muscles in my ribs so now it hurts so much when I cough or lift anything. Really hoping this all goes away before Christmas!

Had my son's nativity play this morning. Soooo cute. I can't believe this will be his last one. He suddenly looks so grown up. 😭🥰

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Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 16:57

How did it go with the SALT @RainbowZebraWarrior ?

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TheShellBeach · 12/12/2023 17:15

I really do love your tree, @Nepmarthiturn and I hope your cough is a little better today.

DS2's carpets and flooring are being laid as I type. He is a different person! Calmer, happier, more confident.

I am just panicking slightly about the Adult Disability Payment application - but he is absolutely entitled - his father never bothered to help him with anything like that. There was no way I could help him with a PIP application when he lived 600 miles away - I could not have attended a tribunal if it became necessary, for one thing.

Ah well. I gather that the Scottish government is taking on average 96 days to make a determination.

@RainbowZebraWarrior how are you and your daughter today?

@rorret are you okay? Any Christmas decorations up yet?

RainbowZebraWarrior · 12/12/2023 20:17

Hello you lovely lot, and thanks for asking after me / DD.

@TheShellBeach fingers crossed for the ADP because I know he is deserving of it, but also know what a PITA all the systems are.

@Nepmarthiturn sounds like you're really having a time of it with the coughing. Nothing worse than feeling sore with so much coughing. I used to be a sports massage therapist and got a lot of folk coming to me in winter time who had pulled either intercostal muscles or back muscles.

DDs SALT appt went really well (thankfully, the lovely lady comes to our house) DD was still non verbal, so communicated via her portable whiteboard, and filled in a lot of forms (the scoring type that helps identify what areas she needs most urgent support with) DD has started speaking to me, though so is slowly coming out of the shutdown. Her cough has gone on for two weeks now, and she started vomiting with it today so I got her a docs appt. He's prescribed an inhaler (we thought she possibly had asthma like me anyway) If no better in a week, then it's steroids. Keeping her off another couple of days to see how she is. It's all OTT stuff going on at school atm anyway that she can't and won't join in with.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful evening.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 12/12/2023 20:22

Also, Shell I meant to say how lovely it is to follow your DS' progress and hear about how much happier he is.

And I'd also echo what Shell says, Nep. Your tree is truly beautiful. Yours is the type that would make me really happy if I caught a glance through the window and it would be a joy to pass each December day.

I'll take a pic of mine and post it. I used to have a tree with a thousand white lights for years. We had a flood 5 years ago and lost all our heirloom decorations, so I've now got a rainbow themed tree. Rainbow by name, rainbow by nature!

Psychoticbreak · 12/12/2023 20:53

Anyone mind if I join in? I promise not to hug anyone ;) I have gotten a recent diagnosis of ASD and ADHD. I was prepared for the ADHD but was not expecting ASD so may need a bit of advice etc.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 22:04

Ahhh that's lovely to hear. He'll be all settled in for Christmas. No wonder he's calmer now knowing that he has loving family and support around him. He must be so relieved to be away from his horrible father! You don't realise how much living with someone like that is dragging you down until you get out of it. It must be a new lease of life for him to be free of it.

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Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 22:04

Sorry that was to @TheShellBeach

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Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 22:09

That is great @RainbowZebraWarrior that the SALT was helpful and she's starting to talk to you again. Plus getting medical help! This time of year at school is nuts so makes total sense to keep her off and let her recover physically and mentally.

Do you have any recommendations for what to do to relieve this muscle pain from the coughing? I am just trying ice packs and ibuprofen for the inflammation.

Oh goodness that sounds awful with the flood! I must admit I do crave a 1980s style rainbow tree, and have a box of rainbow decs in my garage! I had hoped to find a spot to have a second smaller tree with rainbow lights etc but not got enough space. Please do share your photo!

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Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 22:10

Psychoticbreak · 12/12/2023 20:53

Anyone mind if I join in? I promise not to hug anyone ;) I have gotten a recent diagnosis of ASD and ADHD. I was prepared for the ADHD but was not expecting ASD so may need a bit of advice etc.

Hello! Welcome to the thread. 😊 It's a friendly place so do post if you want to share anything. It's a strange feeling trying to process a diagnosis even if you were expecting it.

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Psychoticbreak · 12/12/2023 22:28

@Nepmarthiturn thank you. I was expecting ADHD and OCD with anxiety which I am currently on meds for but the ASD floored me for some reason. Its very new to me and very fresh so I am trying to focus myself elsewhere for a few days and let it sink in and then do some googling etc but yeah, it has actually knocked me a bit.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 12/12/2023 22:35

That is a good idea, it takes time to process things. There are lots of good books about how ASD manifests in women which isn't at all the stereotype of ASD that is usually portrayed. Before I was referred for diagnosis I knew nothing about it so had no idea until I did some research then when I read up on it I thought "Oh... I see. 💡😆". I hope knowing what's going on makes things easier for you, in time.

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SwordToFlamethrower · 13/12/2023 00:03

I'm now being added to the waiting list for an ADHD assessment with ADHD360.
My therapist believes I exhibit traits of ADD hyper focus, along with autism.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 13/12/2023 01:21

Hello @SwordToFlamethrower

Do you know how long you'll have to wait? How do you feel about it?

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Psychoticbreak · 13/12/2023 04:48

@Nepmarthiturn yeah I feel bad now cos I thought autism was something completely different so I feel fairly ignorant to be honest so I think that is why it has hit me so much but I will look into things. I know when I was looking at adhd traits there was many a lightbulb moment but never occured to me I had asd.

@SwordToFlamethrower what are the waiting lists like? I am in Ireland and there would never have been a hope I would get on the lists here so I opted to pay to go private which is a huge amount of money but I feel now it was worth it so I can start to process why I am the way I am if that makes sense.

TheShellBeach · 13/12/2023 06:24

Hello @Psychoticbreak and @SwordToFlamethrower

Welcome to the oasis of understanding which is this thread. You will not be mocked here if you have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, for example.

You're certain to find someone here who understands and can relate to you.

TheShellBeach · 13/12/2023 06:26

I've been awake all night, but not sure what I'm obsessing about at the moment.
There must be something but I just haven't quite figured out what it actually is yet.
Grin

TheShellBeach · 13/12/2023 06:33

Ha! Got it.

Yesterday evening, I asked DS if we could come round tomorrow and see his carpets now they've been laid, and he agreed, but I'm panicking that this will be an intrusion into his life. Does that make sense? I don't want him to think we're spying on him or judging him. I want him to feel relaxed and happy in his own personal space.

His horrible father was so judgemental and cold towards him. This is DS's first flat, and it's just his.

Maybe I'm overthinking this?

Psychoticbreak · 13/12/2023 06:46

@TheShellBeach I would personally say overthinking because he could have said no or sent you a picture instead perhaps?

I am awake since 4am. Insomnia of course again.

TheShellBeach · 13/12/2023 06:49

Psychoticbreak · 13/12/2023 06:46

@TheShellBeach I would personally say overthinking because he could have said no or sent you a picture instead perhaps?

I am awake since 4am. Insomnia of course again.

I did ask him if he was quite sure, and his answer was "I would've said no if I didn't want you to come" which gives me his honest response.

Me, overthinking as usual.

Psychoticbreak · 13/12/2023 06:52

Oh I overthink about overthinking so I get you. I analyse everything to the point I have actual full on conversations and arguments with people in my head. I mean I have argued in my head with my boss on the drive to work and then I get there and he is pleasant to me and I am thnking ok so he isnt going to fire me for doing xyz etc. It is just horrible and exhausting when the mind does not switch off.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 13/12/2023 06:56

@TheShellBeach I understand. Even though he's said he's OK with it, you would still worry. Him being happy and settled is a relatively new thing, and of course you're aware of how his father impacted him and are keen for him to remain happy.

Sorry to hear about the sleepless nights, all. I slept well for the first time in a while, thankfully.

TheShellBeach · 13/12/2023 06:57

I analyse everything to the point I have actual full on conversations and arguments with people in my head

OMG yes! All the time!

Psychoticbreak · 13/12/2023 07:40

I have already had an argument in my head with my sister this morning. That said it is an argument that could potentially happen. She minimises every single thing in my life no matter what it is. Said recently just before my diagnosis that I couldnt possibly have adhd based on the fact that her other half spent 3 months as a special needs assistant. I have sent them on my actual diagnosis and genuinely was or am expecting back a comment like 'but are you SURE you went to the correct professional' or something to that effect. I got so annoyed this morning I had to shower it out haha I do like to have a temper tantrum with water running over me. Plus side is I am clean and ready if she does kick off.