Autistic Women Assemble! #2

[Nepmarthiturn]

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

What do people mean when the say they're feeling dysregulated? I've heard this term a lot recently but can't quite catch what it means.

I just started a thread about a situation I'm dealing with. Would 'dysregulation' be the word I'm looking for to describe how the situation makes me feel?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/neurodiverse_mumsnetters/4873296-navigating-social-media-and-managing-relationships-in-real-life

Morning all, did I kill the thread? How are you all?

Radiant.

Absolutely agree. Ignorance is not an excuse. If they wished to learn about it they could. If they don't wish to that's fine, but then they have no business expressing an opinion! 🙄🙄

That is a very difficult situation. I would just kind of zone the person out: not make a drama of it, but just not interact with them much if they were present with the group, mute their social media posts so I don't see them anymore, etc.

Haha! No, still here! I am wiped out. Often I don't go out for a week or more because of my health so being away with the kids is exhausting. But it has been nice, too. We are being really lazy today. Went out for lunch but now back in hotel room to just chill for the afternoon, I think we all really need some downtime! What's everyone else up to today?

Exhausting day at work yesterday. And I’ve had hugs (unwanted) arms stroked (unwanted) and patted ffs!

i hated it.

What the hell? Such an invasion of personal space and totally inappropriate in a work environment!! 😩

Oh no! That's dreadful!! Is there anything you can do/say to avoid this. My son's headteacher tried to hug me once- I don't hug people I like!

Hello, I’m going to awkwardly plonk myself on this thread because I’ve just got my autism diagnosis today! I just need to wait for the official report but the psychiatrist has confirmed that I am indeed autistic. The idea was first suggested me four years ago when I had my adhd/dyslexia assessment through work and the day has finally come. It feels like such a weight off my shoulders and explains why I’ve always felt so ‘weird’. Ever since my ds got his diagnosis 9 years ago I’ve been wondering why we were so similar
and now I have my answer. I struggled horribly with self harm and anxiety throughout my teens and early twenties to the point I tried to end it. I got diagnosed with BPD at 21 but today the psychiatrist said that he believed it to be a misdiagnosis. I don’t know why I’m posting this but I just feel elated right now as if someone has just explained my entire life to me. I wish little me could’ve known that I wasn’t ’broken and crazy’, I’m just neurodiverse. I hope that my ds will never have to go through the pain I have as he has an understanding of who he is. Again sorry if this is weird and the wrong place to post this I’m just over the moon.

Apologies I didn’t realise how long and confusing that post was! I’m sorry my brain is like scrambled eggs.

@AuDHD4Me that made me chuckle about not hugging you do like. I’m the same!

@Nepmarthiturn The team I work in know I’m not keen but they keep forgetting. And the huggers were teaching staff on A level results day. I saw a lot of hugs!

@Whatsthepoint1234 it makes total sense. My dd was the same when she got her adhd diagnosis. It made sense of all the tones she felt different or hadn’t coped as others had.

Thanks, it is definitely very freeing in a way to get a diagnosis.

@Whatsthepoint1234 it is such a weird feeling, but I remember a sense of relief as you describe. It takes time to sink in. But totally relate to what you say about your DS. I was determined to get my children diagnosed as early as possible so that they can understand themselves and not grow up with trashed self-esteem and feeling like aliens.

Congratulations and welcome. We do diagnosis doughnuts in this house. Here's one for you! 🍩

Well done on getting your diagnosis!

I've had happy moments today recognising my PDA in action. Don't wave your finger at me to pull out in front of you, old-man-driving. I'm not going to do anything you say! Similarly, don't expect me to cross on the supermarket zebra, in front of a car (that's how my wrist got broken), I'll wait till you've gone, thank you.

Thanks everyone, ds has informed me that I’m officially part of the ‘autistic mafia’ - I don’t know what he’s talking about but I have images of slightly awkward mob bosses wearing noise cancelling headphones…

I was thinking about rejection sensitive dysphoria. I said a while back that I don’t think I have it as such… I think with me, the idea of rejection is worse than actually being rejected. I find it difficult applying for jobs because I hate the idea that I might be rejected, but when I have applied for jobs and been rejected, I’ve managed to deal with it fairly well. Perhaps it’s more to do with the idea of uncertainty more than anything.

Bahahaha
I really want to join this mafia. Can I help build
The empire (out of Lego)

That’s great that your diagnosis has lifted a weight off your shoulders.

Had to respond as this comment made me smile. I’m now reimagining some of the great movies, but filmed from the perspective of an ND world.

The first that sprang to mind was Michael Caine’s “you’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off”.

Which would have maybe been followed up with “no, I didn’t mean blow up the whole building. That might be what you decided in your head, or you may have thought that it would be more effective and time-saving. However, my words were VERY BLOODY CLEAR. Plus, just to ensure you knew what I meant, I also provided blueprints of the building which showed the exact points where the charges should have been placed to just BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF”.

Basically, WTF did you not listen to the actual words I said - muppet!

People not saying what they mean is so annoying!

Good morning! Congrats on the diagnosis, @Whatsthepoint1234 - I felt slightly shocked when I got mine earlier this year - sort of validated and ‘bloody hell, I was right!’ at the same time. And I still shuttle between ‘am I being dramatic’ when overwhelmed/over-stimulated by something and ‘nope. This hurts. I’m doing something about it.’ Noise is a big one for me. Competing, sudden, loud or just a certain pitch noises. Funnily enough, someone mowing grass yesterday using one of those big ride-on mowers was quite soothing, so it goes both ways.

And any chance of a retrospective doughnut? 🍩

I also want to join the autistic mafia. We can build ‘Tommy guns’ out of LEGO, and let’s face it, our cunning plans will be awesome: detailed, logical and strategic. Mwah ha ha!

And people being vague and not saying what they mean has been the bane of my life!