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Original poster

I need somebody to edit a read only pdf!

131 replies

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 09:51

Please no bashing I feel terrible enough.
My partner and me have been very on and off for the last 4 years of our relationship if you can call it that, sometimes hes gone months at a time and I dont hear anything from him.
3 years ago I slept with somebody else during a 5 month break, I never told him because he would say this is cheating. He has now decided he wants us to get back together properly move home and start again on the condition I do a lie detector test that says I have never slept with anybody else in the 12 years we have been together.
The pdf is read only and cannot be edited without special software. Obviously I dont want him finding out it was a mistake and I fully regret it but I'm not going to pass the test.
Where could I get the pdf edited? I will of course pay for the time of the person doing it.
I know this is really terrible of me but I want nothing more than us to work, no good will come of him finding out.

OP posts:
Original poster
NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:34

No family or friends to support, haven't spoken to them in years. Wasnt even allowed to attend my dads funeral 9 years ago honestly I could write a book 😪

OP posts:
DinnaeFashYersel · 02/08/2023 19:35

he smashed my foot in the car door and chipped my ankle bone yet he drives past my house numerous times every single day

And requires you to lie detector tests.

Tris is abuse. This is not normal. Please stop exposing your child to this man.

Call women's aid and ask for help.

For you and your child.

Missingpup · 02/08/2023 19:36

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:34

No family or friends to support, haven't spoken to them in years. Wasnt even allowed to attend my dads funeral 9 years ago honestly I could write a book 😪

Now imagine what your daughter is going to says oh her childhood if you don’t make a seismic shift in your priorities

Interested in this thread?

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Relationship problems
Beenhereforever1978 · 02/08/2023 19:37

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:16

It's not that simple, he hasn't lived here since April when he smashed my foot in the car door and chipped my ankle bone yet he drives past my house numerous times every single day.
Theres no help for women like me, the police arrested him the police are aware he stalks me yet they never prosecute. The housing wont help me move, the court wouldn't grant any order. Regardless if I do the test or not he will never leave me alone. Passing his questions will allow me to live a life where I can sleep at night because hes here rather than watching me in the background.

Jesus Christ. Both you and your daughter must feel like you're living in a horror film.

There's lots of good advice and I would echo the calls to get in touch with Women's aid. I'm struggling to see why the police and courts aren't able to get you a restraining order, there has been lots of publicity around stalking recently so perhaps try again rather than submit to this absolute nonsense he's putting you through with the lie detector.

Is him coming back what you really want for her? Really and truly?

GoodChat · 02/08/2023 19:37

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:34

No family or friends to support, haven't spoken to them in years. Wasnt even allowed to attend my dads funeral 9 years ago honestly I could write a book 😪

Oh bloody hell. I can see how you have ended up in this position.

Does he have contact with DD?

Please do call women's aid as others have suggested.

Original poster
NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:39

No contact really unless hes in the family home, hes difficult likes to blame me as the reason he doesnt see her. He doesn't contribute financially to her either, says I spend the money on myself

OP posts:
GoodChat · 02/08/2023 19:41

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:39

No contact really unless hes in the family home, hes difficult likes to blame me as the reason he doesnt see her. He doesn't contribute financially to her either, says I spend the money on myself

Could you just block all contact with him?

If he comes to the house, bolt the door and phone the police. Let school know too.

Original poster
NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:43

@GoodChat this is the issue he doesnt come to the house as such, he posts letters and drives past numerous times a day checking up on me

OP posts:
LIZS · 02/08/2023 19:46

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:16

It's not that simple, he hasn't lived here since April when he smashed my foot in the car door and chipped my ankle bone yet he drives past my house numerous times every single day.
Theres no help for women like me, the police arrested him the police are aware he stalks me yet they never prosecute. The housing wont help me move, the court wouldn't grant any order. Regardless if I do the test or not he will never leave me alone. Passing his questions will allow me to live a life where I can sleep at night because hes here rather than watching me in the background.

Wombs Aid could help you escape. This is no way to live and he is abusive and harassing you even though you are separated. Police will take it seriously if you report every incident. He is controlling and gaslighting you. You really do not have to jump through his hoops. Even when you do he just sets the bar higher. You need to break this cycle and recover your self respect.

MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 02/08/2023 19:50

We're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our DV page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Eglatina · 02/08/2023 19:50

Please contact Women's Aid OP. You're contemplating allowing him to live with you both. How do you know he won't treat your daughter the same way he treats you? You need help to move away, or get a restraining order. Women's aid will help. Please do it. Start recording all his stalking behaviour. Get a ring doorbell.

karakchai · 02/08/2023 19:51

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ohtobeme · 02/08/2023 19:52

Is now a bad time to say that lie detector tests are pretty pointless if you want to find the truth if anything ?

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 19:53

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 10:10

I'm 28, I have already done 2 this year and passed because I have never slept with anybody during our relationship but these aren't good enough.
I know it's really bad but dont want to throw it all away over a silly mistake

Lie detectors can be easily faked and most agencies don't consider them to be reliable, most spooks are given training on counter measures.

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 19:53

Reminds me of the film meet the parents

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 19:55

Plus it's not lieing depending on the way the question is worded and then as to how you answer the question that was asked as it could hinge on certain words etc being used or mis interpreted. There's many ways to answer a question truthfully even when you know what information they are fishing for

Original poster
NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 19:58

@karakchai what is utter bollocks?

OP posts:
Original poster
NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 20:00

I do have a camera recording, which is how I know he drives past numerous times a day. I know its unhealthy, I will contact womens aid and see what they can do to help

OP posts:
Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 20:00

For example

" that says I have never slept with anyone else"

You could truthfully respond
"I have not slept with anyone else"

The twist being you could interpret slept as going to bed to sleep 😴

And in your mind if they asked if you had gone to bed with another person and made love or had sex etc then they would be closer to the truth.

But you could still answer that honestly as no, because in your mind you could phrase your response or how you would word it as
I didn't go to bed and make love or had sex.

When truthfully it could be in your mind, I went to a bed and had sexual intercourse with another person

The devil is in the details.

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 20:01

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 20:00

I do have a camera recording, which is how I know he drives past numerous times a day. I know its unhealthy, I will contact womens aid and see what they can do to help

All the best and positivity

Eglatina · 02/08/2023 20:02

Well done OP because contemplating going along with the lie detector tests is utterly insane.
You are not thinking straight because you are scared. You need to talk to other women who have been there and can help you. You need to take steps to protect your daughter and yourself.

Keep sending the pics to the police EVERY time. Harass them as much as he's harassing you. Don't give up.

sparklefresh · 02/08/2023 20:05

He will kill you OP. Nothing you do will ever be good enough for him and he will hurt you more and more.

Are you happy for your child to grow up in an abusive home?

SammyScrounge · 02/08/2023 21:01

NavyBlue2023 · 02/08/2023 09:51

Please no bashing I feel terrible enough.
My partner and me have been very on and off for the last 4 years of our relationship if you can call it that, sometimes hes gone months at a time and I dont hear anything from him.
3 years ago I slept with somebody else during a 5 month break, I never told him because he would say this is cheating. He has now decided he wants us to get back together properly move home and start again on the condition I do a lie detector test that says I have never slept with anybody else in the 12 years we have been together.
The pdf is read only and cannot be edited without special software. Obviously I dont want him finding out it was a mistake and I fully regret it but I'm not going to pass the test.
Where could I get the pdf edited? I will of course pay for the time of the person doing it.
I know this is really terrible of me but I want nothing more than us to work, no good will come of him finding out.

How many lie detector tests has he to pass?
I'd guess he would fail the test too. If you are to sit one , then he should too.

MissMoan · 02/08/2023 21:02

Please do not put up with this! He sounds incredibly controlling and untrusting. If you stay in this situation you will be forever jumping through hoops.

LondonLovie · 02/08/2023 23:27

Christ on a stick. I've read some fucked up things on MN, but this has to be one of the biggest. Absolutely don't need to say how messed up this is. This will never end well.